YOU SPIN MY HEAD RIGHT ROUND
RIGHT ROUND LIKE A RECORD BABY RIGHT ROUND ROUND ROUND
Alright, obligatory song reference
over. Spinda here is an adorable ball of fluff that
can't stop spinning around, and that's gonna translate
to his card!...somewhat. Really, Spinda's biggest shtick
is his Ability to just...well, kinda be Spinda. How many
other cute cuddly bear-like creatures do you know just
teeter here and there?
On the plus side, Spinda's attacks
are both only 1 Energy apiece. And since they're both
Colorless, you can pretty much run Spinda in any deck!
That's always nice! So what does Spinda bring to the
table? Well first it's Staggering Steps. Sounds
interesting, so what does it do? Well, it's a coin flip
WAIT NO COME BACK, I HAVEN'T EVEN
GOTTEN TO THE BEST PART
It's a coin flip attack...to figure
out who's Confused! That's right, you flip a coin, and
depending on the result, either the opponent's Pokemon
is Confused or Spinda is! Now lemme start by saying
Confusion is only "okay" in terms of Status Conditions.
Obviously, Paralysis and Poison are near the top, but
the rest are all...a bit iffy. Sleep is okay, Burn is
just a might bit inferior compared to Poison, and then
there's Confusion. All Confusion does is force the
opponent to flip a coin, and if they don't get what they
need, their Pokemon takes damage.
It used to be the case that manual
retreat ALSO required a coin flip. That's no longer the
case, and that's why Confusion is the worst Status
Condition. It doesn't cause damage every turn, it
doesn't keep them from attacking, and it's so easy to
get around! Now I know what you're thinking: "But EVERY
status can be gotten around by retreating!" Well it
didn't used to be that way with Confusion, but since
they removed that, Confusion is just below Burn on my
list of Status Conditions, so Staggering Steps is a
Uproar's not much better either.
Alright, so it does 10 damage to each of your opponent's
Pokemon, but that damage doesn't increase on subsequent
turns, doesn't hit for Weakness...ever, and it's hardly
worth justifying running Spinda in your main slot. Guess
that's why he ended up as a Common, huh? Oh well, at
least he's amusing to look at.
Standard: 1/5 (both attacks are
cheap but definitely not worth running)
Expanded: 1/5 (not gonna do much
Limited: 2/5 (to be honest...it's a
little hard to judge how he'd do in Limited. Sure the
spread damage can set-up KOs, and Confusion might hold
off the opponent for a bit if you're lucky, but even so,
there are just so many better options to take - so many
better things to do!!)
Arora Notealus: I always liked the
idea that no two Spinda could have the same spots in the
same places the same way, you know? Apparently the
chances of that happening are less than 1 in 4 BILLION.
To give you an idea, you are more likely to get struck
by lightning, hit by a meteor, eaten by a shark, finding
your soulmate, and winning the lottery than you are at
finding two Spinda with matching spots.
Next Time: Pierce them heavens,
man. PIERCE THEM GOOD