Subject: Analysis of Popular Rants: The Angry Gamer
Ho, fellow Yu-Gi-Oh! players!  The Angry Gamer has come to show off his amazing and sarcastic wisdom!...okay, so I'm being melodramatic.  So sue me.  I decided to devote a good portion of my Interent ration (I live with four other people.  My time is precious) to understanding the current attitudes of my fellwo gamers, then politely telling them to screw off and listen to me.  The first victim;er, subject to recieve my attention is: The Rant.  It's everywhere.  Every new batch of CCG Tips seems to be half composed of tips, and half composed of rants.  This article will try to explain the reasoning behind many of today's popular tirades.  First on the list, for the sake of the total morons among you, I will describe, briefly, The Rant.  Rant: the act of bombarding as many listeners as possible, using loud and impolite terminology, with the speaker's negative views on a subject/action/thingy.  This type of communication seems to be very popular.  The way I see it, there are two main rant types on Pojo's site:  The Beatdown Rant, and The Rant Against Beatdown Rants.  A third type, The Bad Tips Rant, I will be ignoring for now, as I completely agree with the content of this well-founded opinion.  

The Beatdown Rant: Analyzed And Explained.  

The main subject brought up by those Ranting on the Beatdown deck is the deck's lack of creativity.  These Ranters are disgusted with this popular deck's rigid construction rules and sheer numbers.  It seems that three quarters of the decks players see in tournaments are Beatdown variants of one type or another.  The thing is, many of these Ranters list alternative deck types, to "persuade" Beatdown players to change decks.  There are two things wrong with this.  First, no amount of rude language is going to persuade a hardcore Beatdown player to switch decks.  And these players are playing the Beatdowns other people rant about.  These guys have put either hundreds of dollars into thier well-thought-out Beatdown, or traded their a**es off to obtain the necessary cards.  Yu-Gi-Oh! cards aren't cheap; anyone with the means to easily switch deck types is spending too much money.  I know, I'm trying to rotate my Burn deck out and am having many troubles.  The second thing wrong with these Rants is the "solution" many Ranters suggest.  Listing the various (and well known) alternate archetypes is pointless.  If a player was truly concerned about originality in deck construction, his time is better spent writing about almost any other deck type.  Just try and count the number of different Exodia variants out there.  I bet my dog can count higher than the result.  Burn deck fall in three groups: Turtle Burn, Turbo M/T Burn, and Weenie Burn.  A fourth type, Newbie's Burn is noted but not counted.  Each of these catgories have much stricter rules of construction than Beatdown class decks.  Disruption decks are simply Beatdowns or Weenie Burns with some hand wrecking cards added, and the Deck Destruction archetype, though one of my favorites in theory, simply isn't truly viable yet.  While the Beatdown deck comes in many,many subtle, but very noticable, variations.  The Beat Rush type decks are the most viable of the Beatdown class.  Frequently running without Tribute monsters of any type, these decks are built for absolute speed.  A bad opening hand against one of these decks spells defeat.  This type of deck is actually amazingly similar, in concept and execution, to Pokemon's Haymaker class decks.  Guess what?  Everybody ranted on them, too, and for the exact same reason.  The Beat Smash type decks, while not as fast or as vicious as Beat Rush decks, are much stronger late game comers.  The Monster Removal/Barrel Dragon deck fits in here, as does the standard Summoned Skull/Blue Eyes (yes, I've seen this guy recently.  Stunning, isn't it?)/Jinzo deck.  Using high-power Tribute monsters, this beast attempts to blast its opponents to Mars.  There are dozens of different types of Beatdown, due to the wide-open goal: Destroy Life Points Through Attacking.  While all the other deck classes are very rigid in their original goals, Beatdowns remain fluid and changing.  

NOTE:  DON'T mistake this section for an endorsment of Beatdowns.  All those people out there who spend ten minutes online, looking up winning decks, then running to eBay to put togehter their deck make me sick.  It's the people who sit over all their cards, and have card lists of things they don't have yet, for hours, carefully considering the available options, who I'm defending, here.

FINAL CONCLUSION: The Beatdown Rant is rarely well founded.  Mostly,these Ranters are simpy losers who have gotten stomped on one too many times, and decided to whine.  Occasionally, someone will post a logical approach to Ranting on the Beatdown class deck, but these instances are rare.  Simply put, should you encounter the Common Beatdown Ranter, simply smile, turn, and walk away.  Find one of the rare Logical Arguers, and you can sit and have a great discussion.  I hope.

The Rant On Beatdown Rants: Analyzed And Explained

This Rant shows up almost as often as the Beatdown Rant.  This type of Rant is typically much more ferocious in its language, and is RARELY kind in any way to the offending party.  However, they DO have a reason for posting these diatribes.  The number of Common Beatdown Rants is staggering.  The Anti-Rant Rants are simply trying to defend themselves.  These Rants almost always take one of two approaches: The Diatribe, and The Argument.  In my mind, arguing is an art form, with two or more people calmly and logically explaining their point of view, and calmly pointing out holes in the other person's arguments.  Two people raging at each other is a diatribe.

First, The Diatribe.  These Ranters are the players who spent the hours over their cards, but used all their brainpower and patience doing it.  They are deathly sick of hearing all sorts of vicious laments about their chosen approach to dueling, and are fighting fire with fire.  These Rants are typically very nasty, coming close to Springer-level violence (as close as text on a page can get, anyway).  While these are rarely much fun to read, they should provide a person with an insight into the mind of the Ranter.  How many people do you know who routinely savage another person's/group's opinions so badly?  These players are actually very similar to the Common Beatdown Ranter.  They are both disgusted with opposits sides of the same coin.  Just as Common Beatdown Ranters, try to avoid Diatribers.  It just isn't worth the effort.

The Argument.  These players are those who have spent the hours over their cards, then spent a few weeks tweaking and adjusting their decks.  Over the course of a few months, they create a deck perfectly balanced to their own playstyle.  Depending on their budget, of course.  I refer to these players as "Card Masters" because they know what it is that makes the card game great.  The actual gaming aspects are fantastic.  No video game yet, no matter how advanced its interfaces or how great the game's card game works, has been able to capture the feel of a duel.  However, the thing that keeps most of us Card Masters buying boosters and playing games is...The Deck Building.  Some players gain far more enjoyment out of thinking up new types of decks, or new variants on the old ones, than actually playing the game.  These players are to be respected for their dedication, and feared for their skill.  Example: when I was playing Pokemon, I had a near unlimited card budget.  And buying a single Pokemon booster is actually a viable thing.  Unlike Yu-Gi-Oh!, where you have to be an oil baron to afford some of the cards.  However, while playing Pokemon, I applied my massive number of cards, my genius intellect (literally.  I had post high school scores on all my subjects in the seventh grade.), and, really and truly, my entire being, to the creation of my deck.  The result?  I was one of the state of Minnesota's best players (#8, statewide).  In the top 1000 worldwide.  And universally feared in tournaments.  Yet my deck followed very few of the traditional deckbuilding rules.  The purpose of this was not to brag, but to illustrate my point.  The players who write the calm, well thought out, and well written articles on why their Beatdown deck is not as unimaginative as everyone thinks, because they sit down and peruse cards for days, are trying, probably unthinkingly, to show the other ranters the real way to have fun with the game.  The Argument Ranters are not truly Ranting, at all.

FINAL CONCLUSION: The Anti-Rant Rant has a legitamite complaint.  However, the Diatribe Ranters really need to keep their fingers off the keyboard, as do the Common Beatdown Ranters.  Neither of these "Tips" are very cool, and they just get the real players to pity the writer.  The Argument Rant is completely in the right, however, though most people are too afraid of the deadly Beatdowns or Beatodwn Variants often played by the writers, and therefore ream the writer out in retribution.

Sorry for the length of this piece.  It got away from me.  I'm rarely so philosophical.  However, I think I adequetly covered the important points.  Ninety percent of the Ranters out there are just people sick to death of a.) getting their cans kicked, or b.) having their deck ripped to pieces by all those guys it kicked the cans of.  The other ten percent should sit down, compile one huge Rant each, detailing all the arguments of their particular bent, and get it over with.  The name of the section is CCG TIPS, not CCG Rants.  What I'm trying to get across is: if you're writing in to post a combo or new deck type, go ahead.  I encourage you.  However, make SURE you're writing something worth reading!  The one thing that makes me Angrier than a bad Ranter is a bad Tip.  My next article will be all about this subject.  If you're a naughty boy, you may just find yourself humiliated as I use your horrid tip as an example of what people should write on their toilet paper.  If you're writing in to post a Rant, Beatdown or otherwise, just don't.  Nobody really cares.

Any Questions?  Want to Ream Me (at your own risk)?  Contact me at shadowtimberwolf@wmconnect.com.  I'll respond nicely to positive or neutral criticism or comments, any question involving deckbuilding, or (insert demonic voice here) well-written, understandable, logical Rants against me.  Anyone who dares to write a Diatribe about my intelligence, ancestry, biology, or gaming skill will wish they had never seen a computer!  I have stated that I am a literal genius.  My vocabulary is guaranteed twice the size of yours!  You'll be checking three different dictionaries to find out how badly I insulted you!  And anyone who writes in using less than excellent grammar, spelling, and punctuation will recieve a lengthy article on proper writing, along with a full and humiliating rewrite of the article you send!(end demonic voice).  Sorry, but this must be said.  I'm a stickler for good English, and have just completed an expansive semi-Rant on people who mindlessly rant on other players.  I really don't want to deride you, but if forced I am quite vicious.  See you later, and keep playing!