This card can only be Normal Summoned or Set by
discarding all card(s) in your hand to the Graveyard
except this card, as well as Tributing 1 card with
ATK 2000 or higher from your side of the field.
Increase the ATK o this monster by 200 points for
each monster on your opponent's side of the field.
Decrease the ATK of this card by 500 points for each
monster on your side of the field, except this card.
Type - Fiend/Effect
Card Number - EEN-EN012
Ratings are based on a 1 to 5 scale 1 being the worst.
3 ... average. 5 is the highest rating.
Date Reviewed - 01.02.06
Wow...it's amazing what cards they try to make
kids think are good by using them on the show,
Let's look at this card step by step.
You have to give up your whole hand (HORRIBLE)
and a 2,000 ATK monster on the field (Doable,
but still painful) to Normal Summon this
card.(eww, should have been special).
It starts out at 2,800 ATK (good), gains 200 for
each monster the opponent has (meh at best) and
loses 500 ATK for each additional monster you
have out (bad, don't even think of playing
Even if you only lose one card in hand to bring
this guy out, it's still a horrible card that no
one should ever play. ANY Beatstick + United We
Stand or Mage Power = better than this.
Infernal Incinerator COTD
The hard summoning requirements and adverse effect
makes this card a huge steaming pile of donkey $h!t.
Perhaps you can...tribute your Goldd for Infernal
Incinerator and discard more Dark World monsters? I
think not =/.
Don't be surprised if I give 1's to all of this
week's COTD Reviews...
received a fair response to my cotd last Thursday. I
say "fair" in that it's produced more responses than
any other piece of work I've put out, but really, I
got fourteen e-mails. Two of them don't count since
the authors are from my card shop. Three of them
were scathing of the writing. Nine of them liked it.
Good ratio, imo.
EDIT: I received one more this morning, but it
wasn't really concerning the review so much as it
was responding to my jocular bashing of high school.
I like high school, to tell the truth. Just not the
part where you're forced to do work ad tedium, and
the part where the only reward for your work is a
letter which will not mean a single effing thing in
as few as four years (I am not kidding. Past college
applications and scholarship applications, those
letters and numbers don't mean ****). And if you're
actually smart, it's worse because you can spend
weeks on a topic that would take you minutes to
learn. But I digress. I am trying to make my writing
more succinct, and my tangential discussions are not
NOTE: If you want to skip all the unimportant detail
and explanation, there is a nice large gap several
paragraphs down that gives a short summary without
boring detail and the actual review (which is an
awesome review for those of you who miss my normal
On a whole… Well, let me put it like this. The
concept was to take several real-life topics and
discuss them in such a way that they lightheartedly
linked back to the game and to an incident where
someone played Sangan with TWO search targets, both
of which were much more reliably retrieved with
Reinforcement of the Armyzorz.
I failed. Miserably.
Although I will say that I had a time restraint to
work on (I posted the cards for this week when noone
else had… At around 1 AM Monday) even half an hour
would have been enough to see what was wrong,
considering the intended goal, and fix it.
And although I disagree with others when they say it
was failed writing in general, I will say that I
could have done much better.
I'm going to be blunt here. I am smart. Very smart.
My mind follows its own tracks. If I'm bored, I have
been known to be quite for up to three hours just
thinking. The ride to and from San Francisco in
December is fair evidence thereof. What most people
don't understand when they find a sudden,
unexplainable gush of knowledge coming from me about
a topic you'd think I know nothing about is that I
actually do a fair amount of thinking about multiple
topics on my own. I saw Kong recently with a few
friends. At the end of it, they were tearing up. Not
me. I don't tear up. I get philosophical. So the
article was influenced by these little philosophical
moments I have.
This little personality quirk is not exactly
something I tell many people. Primarily because
noone gives a flying *<pojo_rulez>*.
Considering how much thought I'm capable of putting
into something, I'm disappointed. As a quick
refresher... "The concept was to take several
real-life topics and discuss them in such a way that
they lightheartedly linked back to the game and to
an incident where someone played Sangan with TWO
search targets in his full deck, both of which were
much more reliably retrieved with Reinforcement of
I took several real-life topics, but I think I
failed to present the link between those topics and
the Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG quite badly, and I failed to do so
in a light-hearted fashion, and more importantly, I
failed to do so succinctly. The writing rambled. No
matter WHAT you write, if you want it to be good,
you need to write it succinctly.
That said, the words were well-chosen and conveyed
the idea powerfully if not succinctly. The grammar
and spelling (trite issues as they
are) were in the near-perfect to perfect range.
Communication of the topic… Eh. This is where I
failed. I rambled and I failed to accomplish the
task in an entertaining way, or completely.
I think that this part of the experiment succeeded,
however. The experiment is basically a method of
fine-tuning my skills in writing and speech. And
from the moment I read Mark Rosewater's Topical
Blend #1, I've wanted to try and write something
like it. If you haven't read the Topical Blend #1, I
insist that you do so. His writing is FAR better
than mine (or any writer on this site, or Metagame's
for that matter) and something I'm going to emulate
and borrow from as I grow as a writer.
Summarily, I want to better my writing. This
exercise was a failure because it wasn't succinct
and it was depressing/unentertaining, so I need to
work on those two issues next time (think next
week). Failure is merely a tool by which you unearth
That said, the following card blows. Anything that
makes you throw away that many cards and invest that
much into the field has to be damned good, and
Infernal Incinerator fails at that task beyond the
capability of my words to describe. I'll give it a
Some people think suck is the opposite of good.
Really, the state of sucking (as far as cards go) is
just the absence of any good factors.
It's sorta like how most people think darkness is
the opposite of light and how silence is the absence
of sound. See, that's not true.
It's just that darkness and silence are 0's on their
particular scales. To suck is… It's like being a 0.
This thing blows through suck (pardon the pun) and
out the other side into negative points. This thing
is so bad it makes decent cards (such as Spiritual
Fire Art – Kurenai and Pot of Greed) suck.
If it had Piercing, it might get a 3. That's how
badly this card needs Piercing to be good. Then I
could justify playing it (gasp).
-6/5 Solomon Draft
-6/5 Continuous Draft
-6/5 Rochester Draft
-6/5 Golden Age
-6/5 Modern Age
-6/5 Silver Age
-6/5 Bronze Age
-6/5 Steel Age
-6/5 Iron Age
-6/5 Mercury Age
-6/5 Platinum Age
-6/5 Lead Age
-6/5 Aluminum Age
-6/5 Type 1
-6/5 Type 1.5
-6/5 Type 2
-6/5 Twin-Headed Giant
-6/5 Standard (yeah, I'm repeating myself)
-6/5 Online Extended
-6/5 Tribal Wars
-6/5 Mirrodin Block
-6/5 Urza Block
-6/5 Kamigawa Block
-6/5 Tempest Block
-6/5 Ravnica Block
14/5 Homelands (because EVERYTHING in Homelands
sucks, but this sucks more than all the rest)
-6/5 Fire Deck
-6/5 Soul Control
-6/5 Cookie Cutter
In a deck built around it… Well, I have to roll a
d20 to see what it gets there. And uniquely enough,
I roll a 20. How sad. That 20 could have let me go
first in a tournament.
-20/5 Infernal Incinerator deck
The art comes in and is a successful redeeming
factor to this incredibly horrible card. It achieves
a great score for the card.
Hello to all, and may I wish you a Happy New Year!
Have you made any resolutions for this year? Anyway,
this week we come back to reviewing some more
Elemental Energy cards, and I hope this week is a
bit better after a month or so of craptacular cards.
Infernal Incinerator is our card today, and let's
review, shall we?
Well, it does boasts a rather respectable 2800
attack and a not so impressive 1800 defense. It also
gains 200 points for each monster your opponent
However, this card has a lot hindering it as well.
You have to tribute a monster with 2000 attack
points or more to summon it. If that weren't enough,
you also have to discard your entire hand, minus
this card. So, you have to have at least the
specific monster to tribute AND a hand and waste
Even if you only had 1 card in your hand, you are
still doing a 2 for 1 for this guy, and he really
isn't worth it. Plus, you are punished because for
every other monster you control, Infernal
Incinerator loses 500 points.
1/5 all, and I do believe that is justified.
You stay classy, Planet Earth :)
Okay, so what’s my excuse this time? I said I
was catching up, right? Well, it turns out that
mice (and their nests) aren’t very conducive to
phone lines. So I haven’t had internet access
lately. So these are late, but here they are.
Monday’s CotD is (was?) Infernal Incinerator.
Cool name, lame card. This is one card I feel
is best attacked using my “quickie” method,
because it’s got one of those wonderful
misleading effects. You see, while it is only a
Level 6 Monster, it has a Summoning
Restriction. So while it is a Level 6, this
means that the only real meaning that comes from
that is for the purpose of using
Metamorphosis on it. This card can only be
Normal Summoned or Set by discarding all card(s)
in your hand to the Graveyard other than
this card itself. But wait, there’s more! You
also have to use a Monster with an ATK of 2000
or morefor the Tribute
requirement. Now, the first part almost sounds
tolerable. After all, it would trigger Dark
World Monsters, right? WRONG! It’s
already been ruled: it’s a cost to Summon, and
costs don’t trigger Dark World effects.
You also can’t bypass the requirement: if this
is the only card in your hand, no Summon for
Okay, now that I’ve warned you about this
nastiness, what about the rest of the card?
Well, now that you have been “inoculated”, I’ll
show you what might seduce others to use this
monstrosity: 2800 ATK and 1800 DEF. The DEF is
only nice in that I won’t automatically die if
shifted to DEF position (they need a solid
beatstick). Obviously, 2800 would be incredible
if there was nothing else to this card. Even
with all the garbage above, it is tempting for
Fire decks, right? I mean, they have SacredPhoenix, but it’s hard to build a Fire
deck around that, since any supporting
Spell/Traps in play are nuked by your own bird…
too bad there’s even more to the effect. You
see, while it does have a beneficial effect
(each Monster on your opponent’s side of the
field gives a 200 ATK increase) it is far
outweighed by yet another draw back: each
Monster on your side of the field, except for
itself thankfully, results in a 500 ATK
penalty for Infernal Incinerator. So
if you have even one more Monster in play with
it, it drops itself down to a Goblin Attack
Force or (Summoned Skull if they have
While I am relieved this won’t be the next
broken bad boy messing up the metagame, it’s
really quite painful to see so much effort on
such a mess. It reminds me of so many fan-made
cards that start out broken, then have a bunch
of restrictions slapped on to “balance” them.
Oh, and while Special Summoning obviously won’t
trigger the hand discard or Tribute requirement…
obviously that is true of higher level Monsters
as well. You know, stuff with as good or better
effects and stats.
1/5-So hard to get into play that it isn’t even
worth it here.
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