Vulpix vulpix! Vulpix!

Okay. You may just have noticed that there's no letters column today. Well, actually, there is. This is it. Once again, I'm doing everything. I did a couple of fixes, and answered both my letters and Spike's.

Why, you ask?

Simple. Spike's lying in bed with a box of donuts and refusing to come out.

It all started this morning, when Spike woke up in a cold sweat. I asked him if he'd had the dream about Scott Gerhardt and the toilet plunger again. He replied no, that he'd had a horrible nightmare about Wizards banning Dark Ritual in Extended and not reprinting Rapidash in Base Set 2. He said he was relieved to find that it was all a dream. At this point, I started heading in the other direction, because experience has taught me that reality tends to kick in about 30 seconds after Spike wakes up. Secure in the other end of the house, I waited until the wailing and sobbing subsided, then went back to check. I did everything I could to get him to come out. I told him that he had an update to get done. He said he would just use his reserve decks. I licked his face and gave him my best "cute" look. No dice. I finally just left him with a six-pack of root beer and a copy of Shakespeare's collected works. That'll bring him around in time. It always does.

To tell you the truth, I'm starting to get a trifle worried about Spike's mood swings. Here's what he was like last week:

Monday: Dreamlike

Tuesday: Depressed

Wednesday: A bit better

Thursday: REALLY depressed

Friday: Happy

Saturday: Don't ask

And of course, he hasn't managed to get any decks finished and sent back to people. I can tell he feels awful about it, but he just can't bring himself to do it. Hopefully he'll get back on it soon. In the meantime, please be patient.

By the way, if any of you play Magic (or even if you don't) you may want to head over to
www.magiccampus.com and read a new article they've got up there, called "Netdecks - Why They Spoil Magic." If you've ever wondered why I and Spike feel the way we do about archetypes, this guy does an excellent job of putting it into words. Even if you have no clue about Magic, I think you'll still be able to understand what he's getting at. Just replace "Bargain" with "Haymaker" and "Trix" with "Raindance," and you'll see what we mean. Granted, there are fewer possible decks in Pokemon than Magic, but STILL...

Now, I'm answering both Spike's letters and my own. We'll go with Spike's first.

>Subject:Letter for "I Got Letters" on the Lumberjack song…
>
>Hey Spike,
>I just want to say that you really should make the offical song for
>Spike shed "The Lumberjack Song" by Monty Python. Ironicaly, that song
>has been stuck in my head the past week. Anyways though, isn't the
>Pojo.com a family website and wouldn't a little guy write on saying how
>he has many friends who are lumberjacks and only a FEW of them are
>transvesnites? So Spike, I'll be sure to tell all my Monty Python
>loving
>friends to vote for it.
>              Jonathan Thomas,who has a queer feeling he'll be featured
>in the artiicle as the idiot of the week

Hmm. You know, that's a good idea. "Idiot of the Week." Trouble is, some weeks we don't get any true idiots, and other weeks it would be hard to choose.

Good point about the Lumberjack Song. I'm sure that we would also get many letters from transvestites claiming that not all of them are lumberjacks. I'm not sure how many lumberjacks and transvestites there are playing Pokemon anyway, but if there are any, chances are they read this garage.

>Subject:different decks
>
>Dear Spike,
>
>You get a lot of decks at the deck garage (as you mention a lot) and
>they always seem to follow a classic strategy with about the same amount of
>pokemon, trainers and energy.  Of course there's always a few
>exceptions but I was wondering if you could show off some decks that only had a couple
>of energy or a deck that only used a few pokemon.  It would be interesting
>to see some of these different decks and I also feel that it may open up
>whole new types of strategies for people to explore.

Well, the sad truth is that there's not that many different types of decks out there in Pokemon. Spike did once get a very interesting stall deck which he was planning to fix and post purely by virtue of its novelty. Unfortunately, he saw it in another garage first. I'm sure you know how Spike feels about this--when he's already drowning in decks, he dislikes people sending decks to multiple mechanics. The deck was last seen in Spike's Recycle Bin.

But the truth is, Pokemon is basically a game where cute little monsters beat the living daylights out of each other. I think Spike has mentioned this before. If you enjoy this (as Spike does) great! If you don't, this may be the wrong game for you.
0
And if you think there are alternate decks out there, why don't YOU come up with one and send it in?

>Subject:Monty Python
>
>    Hey Spike! What's new? Anyways, I'd like to state that Iam a Monty
>Python fan as well. Ever see Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Man, that's a
>great movie! The killer rabbit really made my crack up.....
>    Even the Knights' that say "Nee" are hilarious! I never thought
>such a great movie would come from UK, and us American's would still
>comprehend and appreciate it. By the way, I'm a retired Pokemon player, I have changed
>and now dedicate my interests to Warhammer(Go Bretonnia!) Although I am
>retired, I still read your deck garage simply because they are entertaining,
>you're good at it, and you like Monty Python! No, I will not mention the "p"
>word, but you should have a "    " on Monty Python. See ya! Feel free to post
>this on Letters, I love that part of the garage! Thanks!

While we are saddened that you have left this fine game, we're flattered by your comments. And yes, we should have a p*** about the Monty Python thing, but that's not possible for the time being.

>To:Griffin@pojo.com, Chipmunk@pojo.com, Jared@pojo.com, El_Ravager@pojo.com, >TheLady@pojo.com, aaron@pojo.com, Crash@pojo.com, KittyFox@pojo.com, Satoshi@pojo.com, >Spike@pojo.com, Dux@pojo.com, Souper@pojo.com, Tyler@pojo.com, Zach@pojo.com
>
>Ok cuz so many of you have guidelines I cant follow em all so ill just
>do
>it short and sweet.
>Just change it for the best(use any cards you wish, I have em all)(also
>if possible tell me why you did what you did if you do somthin)
>
>Facts: I like having a good amount of pok?mon(more than trainers).
>
>Title:Psychedelic Blaze
>
>Strategy: Start out with the fast attackers while powering up the heavy
>weights on the bench then use a careful strategy of retreating an
>attacking to the end.
>
>Cards:
>Pok?mon: 19
>4 Mr. Mimes
>2 Ghastly
>2 Haunters
>3 Scythers
>4 Magmars
>2 Moltres
>2 Chanseys
>
>Trainers: 12
>3 Professor Oak
>4 Bills
>4 Energy Removals
>1 Super Energy Removal
>
>Energy: 29
>4 Double Colorless Energy
>14 Fire Energy
>11 Psychic Energy
  
As you read this submission, please note a few things:

1) He sent it to EVERYBODY, despite our numerous hints, pleas, rules, guidelines, orders, and edicts to the contrary.

2) He actually WANTS more Pokemon than trainers. The very fact that he specifies this, without any regard to what makes a good deck, is, well, scary.

3) He runs 29 energy, for God's sake.

This is one of those periodic "What will get your deck deleted? THIS will get your deck deleted" things. What really kills it is sending it to all the mechs. The other stuff is just icing on the cake.

>Subject:Hi
>
>Hello Spike!
>
>As you being a good ranter speaking for the Pokemon
>community I would naturally send this letter to you.
>I was searching the internet for pokemon when I found a complete jerk
>comparing Digimon and pokemon claiming EVERYTHING that's Digimon came
>before
>pokemon. You may not think it serious but go to the site at
>www.geocities.com/s0ra The guy even says the CARD GAME OF DIGIMON CAME
>FIRST!!!!!!! Which I firmly believe against
>I wanted to notify the pokemon community of this.
>
>P.S.
>Vulpix is awesome

Yes, flattery will get you into Letters. Of course, so will insults, so I'm not sure what that proves...

Um. It's my understanding that Digimon DID come before Pokemon... or so I've been told by some. But I think the Digimon TCG only came after Pokemon went big. Spike might know more, but he's sobbing into his pillow. Does anybody else know about this? Write in and give us your views! Uh oh. That's beginning to sound remarkably like a p... I won't say it.

That was all of Spikey's letters. Now for mine! Only one =(

>Subject:Electabuzz calls out, Magmar faints (???)
>
>Yo. Vulpix, Spike. I don't know why I'm writing this letter. Hey,
>Vulpix,
>Magmar and Electabuzz say hi. "Scyyy! Scyther." Scyther says hi too.
>Wait a
>minute... "Mag... Magmar! MAG MAGMAR MAG!!!" (releases Magmar) Magmar,
>chill
>out... Oops, wrong choice of words. (falls over by the power of the
>Fire
>Blast given)
>MAGMAR: Vulpix, I dare you to try and toast me. I bet you can't do jack
>against me. You up for the---(Ninetales pops out of Pokeball and sends
>Magmar flying with Fire Spin)
>NINETALES: Sorry about that. Zak's other Pokemon are so annoying. I
>doubt
>he's raised them properly. The only ones I like are that Denryu and his
>Arigetsu. Too bad I can't hang around Arigetsu... ugh. Anyways, see ya,
>I'll
>Fire Spin them all away, bubye Vulpix! (fire spins Zak, Magmar and
>itself
>away into the sky)
>PS.: Yes, I am a little loose. I think I need to cut down on the
>wine...
>d---! I'm all out (mumbles and closes letter)

Okay. I have NO idea what all that was about. As a matter of fact, I think I'll start backing away slowly right now...

Hmm. Maybe I should do a thought for the day. Just like Spike does. In fact, I know what I could do! Well, it's not really a thought--more of a plea--but I need to say it.

Some time ago, I met a cute little Vulpix on mIRC. Since then, I haven't seen her again, though I've been looking for her everywhere. Vixen, if you're out there, please write to me. I can't stop thinking about you.

Wait a minute. Spike just got up. Spike, are you okay?

Reading Shakespeare made you feel better. Yes, it usually does, for some strange reason. What were you reading? Tybalt's death scene. Hmm. Well, it certainly seems to have cheered you up. I already did the update for you. No thanks are neccessary. Yes, I know I'm a good fox. How about a scratch behind the ears? Oooh...

-Vulpix
s_vulpix@yahoo.com


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