Vulpix!

As you may be aware if you've scanned this week's
Letters column, I now have my own special section of
the Shed. Spike has kindly allowed me to espouse my
views here on a weekly basis, although he reserves the
right to yank me if I become too offensive. At any
rate, while I may occasionally use this space to
deliver diatribes against society in general and
social conservatives in particular, my first and
foremost purpose is to bash decks! So let's get
started! Vulpix!

By the way, I'll be using a new format for rating
these decks. They will be judged according to four
categories: "Illegality," which will refer to whether
or not the deck is techically illegal to play with;
"Singles," which will examine the huge amount of
single cards that characterize most of these decks;
"Evolution Families," which will deal with just how
hideous the deck's evolutions are; and "Pain Level,"
which is a measure of the overall pain induced as a
result of playing with the deck, playing against the
deck, or even  contemplating the fact of its very
existence.

Our first deck today is called "Burning Doom," which I
think adequately describes the fate that will befall
its creator upon his death.

***

Deck Name: Burning Doom
Illegal: Oh yes
Singles: Heck yeah
Evolution Families: None, actually
Pain Level: French-kissing a lit propane torch


>Hi there! I fully trust you so I will allow you too
fix my deck ok?
>So please do it my friends won't play with me for
some reason. I think
>they know that I'm too good for them.
>
>
>1Charmeleon
>7Charizard
>1Arcanine
>1Rapidash
>1Ninetails
>1Flareon
>1Plus power
>1Defender
>1Lass
>1Pokedex
>6potions
>3Scoop up
>20Water Energy(Mostly from the black out deck)
>My plan is too use the pokemon to wear them down then
use Charizard to
>finish them off. This really works well with my
friends when they
>actually play with me and at tournaments. Can you
help improve on my
>perfection?

***

This is the kind of deck that really scares me. Not
because it sounds like a setup (which it does) but
because I don't think it is. I think it's real, and I
know that no matter what I tell this kid, he's just
going to keep doing this sort of stuff until somebody
gets hurt. This is the sort of tragedy that is played
out every day, all across America. If you know this
person, please contact your local police station.

I don't think there's much more I can say. The horror
of this deck just speaks for itself. No more--no more.
Take it away...please...

*ahem*

Vulpix! Okay, where were we? Oh, right, I was just
about to unveil the second hideous monstrosity for
this week.

***

Deck Name: Hydrostrength
Illegal: No, surprisingly enough
Singles: Is the Pope Catholic?
Evolution Families: Couldn't get much worse
Pain Level: Being dragged over carpet tacks and dipped
in rubbing alcohol


>My deck's objective is to remove most of your
opponents energy, while
>still
>keeping most of yours.  I also added in a lot of
strong basic evolution
>
>pokemon to keep you in the game early on.  Tell me
what you think of my
>deck.
> Thanks.
>
>20 Pokemon
>1x Hitmonchan
>1x Hitmonlee
>1x Onix
>1x Squirtle
>1x Wartortle
>1x Blastoise
>1x Poliwag
>1x Poliwhirl
>1x Poliwrath
>1x Seel
>1x Dewgong
>1x Articuno
>1x Magikarp
>1x Gyrados
>1x Clefairy
>1x Clefable
>1x Pidgey
>1x Pidgeotto
>1x Dratini
>1x Dragnair
>20 Trainers
>1x Pokemon Center
>3x Potion
>4x Energy Retreival
>2x Switch
>2x Super Potion
>2x Super Energy Removal
>3x Bill
>3x Energy Removal
>20 Energies
>12x Water Energy
>8x Strength Energy
>
>Thanks

***

Well, at least this deck has a strategy behind it. Of
course, that isn't saying much.

What the hell is WRONG with these people?? Do they
think it's illegal to have more than one of each
Pokemon in their deck? This guy actually has some
fairly good trainers, and in well-rounded numbers, but
his Pokemon look like he bought the proverbial bunch
of boosters and threw them all together. Does he even
notice that he never gets anything evolved? That's
another thing--this deck should die instantly against
anything with a remotely good strategy, because only
three of his basics (the Fighting types) will survive
for more than a couple of turns.

You'd think this person would at least put in a way to
search, but he doesn't. What do his friends play? And
how the hell does he completely ignore what everybody
else is playing? Does he notice that no one else
besides him and the other losers on RBD play decks
full of singles? Does he notice that the players with
multiples and properly constructed evolutions are the
ones who actually win?? Perhaps he thinks all those
cards are restricted. For his sake, I certainly hope
so, because the alternative isn't pretty.

And another thing that makes me mad--he's taken good
Pokemon and used them badly. He's giving good guys a
bad name. C'mon, people--if you're going to
demonstrate your complete and utter lack of common
sense, at least use bad families like Cloyster and
Kingler. Let the rest of us have the good cards.

Geez...I wish Spike would let me post the e-mail
addresses of these idiots. But he said something about
Scott and legal threats. What a bunch of pansies these
people are.

Anyway, that's all for this week from your favorite
fire-breathing fox. Come again! I don't know what I'll
have next week, but I'm sure it'll generate hate mail
for Spike to post!

-Vulpix
s_vulpix@yahoo.com

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