Okay, as promised--here's the big update. In here, there should be:
8 fixes
2 bashes (yes, we're doing them separately again)
2 smartass columns (this one and Vulpix's)
...for a grand total of 12 articles. While short of the 14-16 I was hoping for
(I got tied up in some other matters over Spring Break, if you get my drift) it
should still be quite enough to satisfy your depraved pleasures for another
week.
Good news: Responses are trickling out to all the people whose decks have been
sitting in my mailbox for the past several weeks. Bad news: It's gonna take a
while. Hold your horses.
Now then... the hate mail. Hate mail? Hate mail...
OMG! There was no hate mail this week!
I'd expected the "religious spam" and my ensuing bash to generate no
end of flames, death threats, lawsuits, and general unpleasantness from the
conservative element of the Pokemon community. Surprisingly enough, it did not
(probably they all stopped reading this garage long ago.) I did get a few
letters, all of which seemed polite and sincere, even if a couple people did
miss the point. But the letter I want to print comes from another Christian, who
has a few choice words for both me and the sender of the spam letter:
>Subject: A Christian POV
>
>I'm just speaking of the so-called Christain who started, for no
>reason,
>to bash deck reviewers at free will. Please post this.
>
> Listen, pal. I'm going to say this nicely and calmly, without
>accusations. That's more than I can say for your letter.
>
>You seem to forget one major thing. God put us on the earth to do one
>thing: spread the word. Notice how he does NOT say anywhere in the
>Bible, "Thou shalt go around chastising people thou knowest not just
>because thee desireth so." Does he say that?
>
>No.
>
>And about your section on how crude, vulgar, and obscene things pass
>freely through the internet. May I ask just how you found this fact
>out?
>So far, I've found hundreds of programs designed on filtering out porn
>on the internet.
>
>And, might I add, my school, as well as several others I know of,
>support a Christain Club, which is frequently mentioned on the PA
>system, and invitations to Christ are widespread. And this is a public
>school.
>
>And Spike, hate to contridict you on how Christain Represenatives are
>the worst, but remember John Osteen? He brought millions to Christ.
>That's not what I call verbal abuse. Myself, I have a pure lifestyle.
>No
>smoking. No drinking liquor or hard drink. No porno in my closet. The
>most objectionable thing one could find in my life is my
"obsession"
>with Pokemon.
>
> Invisible christain? Funny. I proudly display an array of Christain
>T-shirts on a day-to-day basis. Maybe I don't stand on the lunchroom
>tables and have a Prayer Meeting. Maybe I don't run over other
>religions
>and then boast my own. I do what's called building a bridge. I build a
>friendship with someone before I ask them about Jesus.
>
> True, there are Christains whose morals leave soemthing to be desired.
>There are also Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buhddists (sorry if I
>misspelled),
>Mormons, etc. whose morals need a tune-up. YOU, my friend, are no
>exception.
>
> So, before you get on your soapbox and start preaching all these
>put-down sermons, you do some soul-searching. That critical tounge
>needs
>to be put on a leash. A wise proverb says. "Criticism is like dynamite.
>It has it's uses, but it should only be used by experts."
>
> By the way, when I said those things about other religious people
>needing spiritual tune-ups, I was NOT trying to be racist. I was just
>saying it's a widespread problem we ALL need to address. So don't think
>I'm a racist, or a Neo-Nazi, or anything like that.
>
>Thank You.
Thank you, man. You made some good points. Now I'd just like to offer my own
$.02 on a couple of things.
First of all-- this John Osteen guy. I actually don't know much about him. Okay,
okay, I should have done my reading. But this is an excellent demonstration of
my point; namely, that a relatively small, vocal group is giving a bad name to
Christianity as a whole. For right now, I'll take your word on this guy.
Secondly-- Christianity in schools. You can't walk around my school without
tripping over advertisements for Christianity. Posters, fliers--you name it, and
it really starts to offend me after a while.
Thirdly: Porno in one's closet. I've chosen to postpone discussion of this
subject indefinitely =)
Now then, a couple of other interesting letters arrived here this week:
>Subject: Some adivice to post on Anti-Hays
>
>When I see people using Gengar in an Anti-Hay to stop Hitmonchan or
>Hitmonlee, I see a big waste of space. Movie Promo Mewtwo is much more
>efficient. Dealing 40 damage a turn plus Hitmonchan's or Hitmonlee's
>Weakness, they will be a one hit k.o. Mewtwo isn't as Energy strict
>and can
>be powered up by turn two, also. So, you should drop your Gengars for
>Movie
>Promo Mewtwo's.
Ok. Lemme say something right now-- I'm NOT posting any more of this stuff. Do
not use my garage to gain prestige for whatever ideas you might have. I really
shouldn't have posted this, except I wanted to show the rest of you what I was
talking about. Take stuff like this to the Strategies and Single Card sections,
all right?
>Subject: Bravo
>
>Hi Spike!
>I would just like to say that I am amazed at how you are able to handle
>everything that you do. Here is a list of some:
>Fixing decks
>Vulpix's corner
>Idiots
>I get letters
>
>Also I am amazed how you still can keep a sense of humor. I spend many
>many
>hours(or minutes) reading your columns when I can actually do something
>good
>with my life. So I would give you a standing applause but I can't since
>well
>you can't stand in an e-mail so I'll just type clap a lot of times ok?
>
>*clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap>**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**cla>p**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**cl>ap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**>clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap*>*clap**clap**clap*
>
>Keep up the good work!
Thank you, thank you. You're too kind.
SPIKE'S RANDOM THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
The little mini-games that come with Pokemon Stadium are really stupid. Really,
incredibly stupid. Some awful fate should befall the person who came up with
them. As far as I can tell, these games have two redeeming factors:
1) Seeing Clefairy get whacked on the head with a hammer
2) Seeing Rattata doing back flips (how cute)
Other than that, they're a waste of my time and yours. No offense if you happen
to like that sort of thing.
I'm going to withdraw into my sanctum now. Till next week... farewell.
-Spike
Spike@pojo.com
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