Well, people, it's been a while since I've been a deck
mechanic. I've fixed a lot of decks and have gotten
some very positive comments from a variety of people.
Combined with the fact that my Christmas vacation is
almost here, that means it's time for a celebration.
And what better way to celebrate than to bash some of
the decks I've recieved during my tenure in the
garage?

The one problem I needed to solve was who to bash the
decks with. The other mechanics, I think, demonstrated
that this sort of stuff is more fun when you share it
with someone, whether it be a weird disembodied voice
named Bob, a Raichu named Sparks, or someone else
entirely. So I've decided to let my Vulpix help me
thrash these decks.

VULPIX: Vulpix! Vulpix!

Of course, Vulpix can't speak any human languages.
Fortunately, like many Pokemon trainers, I have
learned to understand what my Pokemon are saying, so
I'll be translating.

VULPIX: Vulpix vulpix! [Get on with the deck-bashing
already!]

Okay, Vulpix. Here's the deck.

> This is my deck it is called Grassy River
>
>8 water energys
>7 grass energys
>
>1 Potoin
>1 Super Potion
>1 Recycle
>1 Energy Search
>1 Revive
>1 Super Energy Removal
>1 Gambler
>1 Pokemon Center
>1 Prof. Oak
>
>1 Gyarados
>1 Magikarp
>1 Poliwrath
>2 Poliwhirl
>3 Poliwag
>3 Horsea
>1 Seadra
>1 Kingler
>2 Krabby
>1 Psyduck
>1 Golduck
>2 Seel
>1 Dewgong
>1 Shellder
>1 Cloyster
>2 Ekans
>1 Zubat
>1 Oddish
>1 Gloom
>1 Vileplume
>2 Caterpie
>1 Metapod
>1 Butterfree
>1 Grimer
>1 Venonat
>1 Venomoth

> My record is 2-3
> My strategie is to have my crappy guys out while on
my bench I am
>loading Poliwrath, Gyrados and butterfree

VULPIX: Vulpix. Vulpix vulpix... [Gee, it's too bad
this guy bought all those booster packs and didn't get
more than one of any trainer.]

SPIKE: Actually, he probably has more. He just didn't
put them in.

VULPIX: Vulpix! [Gee, and eight whole water energies
for Gyarados, Poliwrath, Seadra, Psyduck, Kingler,
Dewgong, and Cloyster. Maybe everybody in his area
thinks Energy Removal is for lamers.]

SPIKE: Well, hey, the guy runs a SER himself. But back
to the Pokemon. Notice how he hasn't bothered to     
                                                     
          properly construct any of his evolutions.
Except for Poliwrath.

VULPIX: Vulpix vulpix vulpix! [Ooh, Poliwrath. I'm
scared. Since it's never going to get any energy,
what's the point? I mean, *I* could toast Poliwrath,
and that's scary.]

SPIKE: That it is. But you know, there's something to
be said for strength in numbers. Having one of almost
every Pokemon just might win a few games...if the
other person is running four Oaks and decks himself,
that is.

VULPIX: Vulpix...vulpix vulpix. [Strength in numbers
was one of the ways to say no to drugs that they
taught you in elementary school. Judging from the
guy's deck, I'd say he skipped the drug education
classes.]

SPIKE: True enough. Hmm...we've covered Pokemon,
trainers, and energy. Is there anything else we need
to do before we're done with this deck?

VULPIX: Vulpix vulpix? [You mean besides setting up
Avalanche and mail-bombing this idiot? I'm serious
here. This guy is wasting our time. He must think the
Deck Garage is some sort of a joke.]

SPIKE: Point. But I think you might be coming down a
bit too hard on him.

VULPIX: Vulpix vulpix--Vulpix! [Too hard? You can't
come down too hard on somebody who runs a grand total
of 15 energy in a deck with Poliwrath and Butterfree.
Wizards can make a better deck.]

SPIKE: If that isn't one of the signs of the impending
apocalypse, it should be. Anyway, tell me what we have
for the person who sent this deck in.

VULPIX: Vulpix. Vulpix vulpix vulpix. [We have a
tasteful "Crappy Deck Award" certificate, suitable for
framing, along with a statuette of yours truly
lifting my leg on a stack of Pokemon cards. These will
be mailed as soon as we get the stuff back from
Fred's Discount Trophy Warehouse.]

SPIKE: Sounds good. Well, shall we move on to the next
deck? There's several more to go, you know.

VULPIX: (wags his tails in anticipation)


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