Shungokusatsu<AKA, Instant Hell Murder> Haymaker V.2.69 or something like
that...
Time: 6/8/00
Place: Timewarp Comics and Games; Cedar Grove NJ
Deck: Shungokusatsu Haymaker V. 2.69

Preface: Since Justin 'Jesus Christ of the Pokémon TCG world' Smith can
write reports about going undefeated at league events, I decided to write a
report about that too, ONLY I'M GUNNA GO AGAINST GOOD PLAYERS INSTEAD OF A
BUNCH OF 8 YEAR OLDS AND I WON'T LOSE TO SOME YOUNGER KID BEING COACHED BY
HIS FATHER, WHICH JUST BASICLY SHOWS YOU WERE BEATEN BY THE FATHER AND THEN
SAY THAT IT WAS HIS FAULT WHERE IN REALITY, YOU PLAYED HIM. Still working on
proving Justin for the fraud he is (what is this, my 8th time in the last 3
months?), I'm even gunna write it in a similar format to his 'HEV Strike
Force Deck' *cough-stolen-from-half-life* where I appear to be a member of
some odd organization and give you a play-by-play on each card. A LONG
BORING DETAILED DESCRIPTION. Actually, Just kidding, I'll write it so it
sounds interesting. This is also to prove how even with an 'unoriginal,
boring deck (which is at least GOOD instead of that crap you post, Justin)';
it's not hard to go through a league day undefeated. Pojo, Scott, why do you
post deck reports on league dates? Newbie players come here to see 'Killer
Decks' and then occasionally say 'Hey, that looks like a good idea, I think
I'll use it since I'm new and don't really know how to make a good deck on
my own' when they read a report on a deck with singles of Magikarp and
Squirtle and the 'Inexpensive Raindance' described in the preface as,
"Hyuk... I din't had any money fer all dem' purty, shiny kardz, so I made
me-self an awesome deck wit' my Makikarps and Squirtles. When the Squirtles
use bubble, take out a water gun and say it's dancin' rain, and attach hur'
water energy to the poke-a-man card an' stuff'. I won wit' dis' deck against
my goldfish and blud hownd, butch." and then they make the deck and LOSE
horribly in a tourney with it and then bitch and moan about how the deck
sucks and then they no longer trust anyone, not even the good deck builders
on pojo and end up growing into old, bitter people. STOP THE MADNESS OF
POSTING KILLER DECKS WHICH ARE REALLY KILLED DECKS BEFORE IT HAPPENS TO YOU!
Thank you, on with the report.

</Downloading Team Rocket Interface, file: PROFILE LISTING: SHUNGOKUSATSU
HAYMAKER>
</LOADING...>
</LOADING...>
</File download complete>
</Scanning... File scanned>
</Reading file>:
To: Rocket Trainee; Codename, PokéPunk
From: Giovanni; Team Rocket Leader
Subject: Assignment 1

Greetings soon-to-be Team Rocket member! We have given you a new, test horse
of an assignment as your first mission. Test out the new, genetically
enhanced Pokémon we've given you once you had signed up. Firstly, though, it
is only polite to explain each of them and what we have done. Your mission
must not fail, we expect a flawless report or you will be IMMEDIATLY
terminated from Team Rocket. You now only are known by your codename, and
use only the Pokémon we have given you as test subjects. Failure to complete
a mission successfully results in immediate disciplinary measures. Should
you be caught, I will request for your bail. Should you continually fail,
you will be disregarded. Please read the attachment.

</Downloading attachment file: Unit Briefing>
</Stand-by>
File: Unit Overview
The attachment is to do the following:
Describe usage; History; and Purpose/Enhancements to each item given.
Items<Pokémon>: 11

3x Hitmonchan
Hitmonchan is a powerful, fast attacker. Recent studies in the 'borrowed'
Sliph Co labs have shown that our enhanced Hitmonchan uses attacks which
require minimal energy and has HP which makes it fairly durable. The only
problems we witnessed during testing is that is was unusually slow when
escaping battle, failed when tested against Psychic Type Pokémon, and most
Pokémon had a heavy resistance to it. We did find that most electric and
normal types had a heightened weakness over most of the Pokémon, though.


3x Electabuzz
Electabuzz's ability to deal payloads of damage for a limited energy cost is
essential in our fast attack strategy. During its enhancement, heavy, low
cost attacks were installed in favor of speedy escape. Though rarely does it
have Pokémon resistant to it, an array of fighting types can strike down and
knock out Electabuzz with several blows. Electabuzz's key strengths are its
ability to go toe-to-toe with most flying types that are resistant to
Hitmonchan and most water types.

3x Scyther
Scyther was the hardest to control, as without the use of enhanced energy,
it would end up slow in an attack. This was left as-is in favor of an
extremely speedy exit from battle. It's attacks allowed swift damage, but at
the cost of heightened cost. During testing, nothing was found to be
resistant to Scyther and it was also found that Scyther, although easily
taken apart by fire type Pokémon, it had a high resistance to fighting
types, which gave it cover over Electabuzz.

2x Ditto
Ditto is currently Team Rocket's Science branch's highest achievement. Upon
having Ditto placed as the attacker, it becomes the opponent's Pokémon in
every way, with the advantage of non-spacific energy costs. The problem
remained, as Ditto's transformation was unstable, it would revert to it's
blob form when returned to it's Pokéball and regained it's original 50HP.
Because we have not yet worked out this instability, we have only issued you
2 Ditto.

Items<Trainers>: 25

4x Bill
Bill is the founder of the Pokémon Storage system. His item card allows you
to pick out the top 2 items available, making him irrefutably necessary.

2x Professor Oak
Although the Professor is usually on the side of good, we have gotten hold
of his item and it allows us to destroy the items we currently have, and
then pick 7 new ones, restoring an advantage from where there once was none.

4x Power Plus
As you've seen in your training, Power Plus (also known as Plus Power)
increases your Pokémon's attack by 10. Although this may seem like a small
amount, it can spell the difference between a knockout or giving your
opponent a turn to regroup.

2x Scoop Up
Although your Pokémon should be able to handle the mission without
sustaining much damage, times may call for backup in which you save yourself
from a loss. Although you discard all attached energy, a Pokémon of your
choice is healed completely and allows another attacker to come from your
bench and attack.

2x Switch
Sliph Co. created this, years ago, although it does roughly the same thing
as Scoop Up. The difference is that although Scoop Up heals, Switch retreats
(instantly healing status effects) and doesn't involve a discard cost.

2x Gust of Wind
The reversed Switch. Use it to bring up weakened members of your opponent's
team for easy knockouts. You can also use it for emergency precautions to
send out a slow, un-powered member of your opponent's team to give you time
to build and to save yourself from being knocked out.

4x Energy Removal
Obviously giving you the advantage of lowering your opponent's Pokémon's
energy without a backfire cost is a good advantage. Sadly, this is usually
not enough to greatly harm your opponent, which is why Sliph Co. created the
next item...

2x Super Energy Removal
Although we currently have these in limited supply, the two we've issued you
should be enough to neutralize any threat, which may come your way. While
doing massive damage to your opponent and their strategy, you also must
succeed energy. A small price to pay for mass devastation.

2x Energy Retrieval
With some of the adverse effects of some of your items and the cost of
retreating, there must be a way to regain some of what you've thrown away. A
small one-item cost to get back 2 energy is good, especially if your
opponent is playing the energy removal strategy.

1x Super Potion
This, although not essential, was issued in extremely limited quantities as
it is an emergency trump card, should you lack anything needed to aid
yourself, from a card to discard or an immediate heal card if you lack a
Scoop Up or Switch. Although you have almost no chance of picking it up in
battle, it's a trump card should the time arise to use it.

Items<Energy>:
9x Fighting Energy
Essential to Hitmonchan. Without which, he cannot attack. Not only is this
extremely useful to Hitmonchan, it can be used with both Scyther and Ditto.
This was Sliph Co's 1st project when they began to develop special items.

9x Electric Energy
Although you should immediately consider exchanging one of these for another
Fighting energy, keep the ratio for this mission. Electabuzz's attacks are
powered by Lightning/Electric energy, without which, he would be nothing.
Feel free to use these also as energy for Scyther or Ditto.

4x Double Colorless Energy
Although this is Sliph Co's greatest achievement, when this was 1st issued
to the general public, it was misused and thought to give the Pokémon 2
energy of any color. When the Pokémon ended up drained and un-able to
attack, it was later discovered that it could be used to meet normal type
energy requirements. These energies can be used for several things: Easy
retreating, energy for attacking, or Ditto and Scyther speed-ups.

This is the complete run-though of your items. Your mission is as follows:
1. Enter the Cinnabar Gym.
2. Test out your team.
3. You must succeed in each battle.
4. Earn your Creme (Volcano) Badge.
5. Recover the escaped 2 Evee test subjects (Holo Evee Promo's). *Optional*
6. Flee the scene and return to Rocket Headquarters.

Should further assistance be necessary, please use any back-up item groups.
<Items Codenamed PATRIOTIC HAYMAKER, DARKNESS INCARNATE V. 4.44, AND SEWERS
BENEATH THE SAFARI ZONE>
<End Transmission>

I prepared myself a short time before I began my general assault. I began my
background music, Mission 2000 (by Chris Cornell, that guy who wrote 'Can't
Change Me'). <Note: All the opponent deck names were created by me since I
stick to a policy at the league of 'Don't ask, don't tell' with decks. I
named them from what I saw. >

"WUSSE WUSSE!"-Akuma; SFA III

Battle report: Vs. John (Don't drink the water deck)*For point requirements
to obtain Creme Badge*
The first test run was a complete success. This child's deck was COMPLETELY
unprepared for Instant Hell Murder. He started his Lapras to my Hitmonchan,
with a Ratata and Seel on the bench. I went first. I gusted out Ratata for
the first blood. He gunned me. I drew an Electabuzz and used Switch for it.
I shocked with paralyze followed by Thunder Punch for both Lapras and Seel
for the win.

Battle report: Vs. Rich (Ghostly Slash Guest starring Mew)
An annoying battle, as I had to put up with what seemed to be a cheater as
he got the PERFECT hand. It didn't matter, though, I still won. I started
Chan and Scyther and a Gastly and a Promo Evee benched. I go 1st. I attach a
fighting energy to my benched Scyther and pass. He licks /w paralyze. I
power Scyther and evolves into Haunter and put me to sleep. I stay asleep.
He EVOLVES AGAIN into Gengar and knocks me out. Scyther's slashes and Power
Plus made short work of it. I slash his Evee to death after he benches a
Rocket Drowzee (how a Rocket-Enhanced Pokémon could join a cheater like him
is beyond me...) and uses Nightmare. I wake up and slash. He evolves it and
I kill it. There's still an Abra and Mew on his bench. I gust out the Abra
after benching Scyther and Buzz takes it out. He benches base Gastly
(laughs) and pits it against my Hitmonchan. We bench both of our actives and
I kill Fossil Gastly for the win.

Battle report: Vs. Pete (Hot Water)
As Dr. Doom says in 'Marvel Super Heroes (another great fighting game by
Capcom)', "Chalk up another victory" in his sinister voice.  I started Chan
to one of the Ratata's (I didn't care, I went 1st and killed it). He had
cases on some of his cards, some not. At Timewarp, we play with 2 card
penalties for such things, so I drew 2 cards. He tried to evolve his now
active Poliwag into Poliwhirl, but since it was his 1st turn, I noted his
mistake. I benched a Scyther, ERed the energy, and Jabbed with a Power Plus.
He THEN evolved into Poliwhirl and attached an energy and passed. I attach
my 2nd energy to Chan and Jabbed. This kid must've had some great luck
because he evolved AGAIN into Poliwrath and passes. I attach another energy
and Special Punch his Wrath and Rocket Charmander for the win.

Battle report: Vs. Steve (Sleepy-Psy with Scyther)
Steve is one of my friends and was quite disgruntled over my putting him in
my deck report on my success as a trainee for Team Rocket, and was equally
annoyed by the fact that I played a Haymaker (like I wanted to play
something else). It started Scyther to Scyther, he went 1st. He attaches a
DCE to Scyther and passes. I laugh at his expression and I remove it and he
tells me, "You're evil, you know that?" I attach an electric energy and SAVE
my DCE for next turn. He attaches a Psy energy and passes. I attach the DCE
and a Power Plus. He passes and I kill his Scyther. I Slash his Mewtwo
twice, then knock it. I then slash his Fairy and he evolves into Clefable
and knocks Scyther out. I send out Hitmonchan and knock IT out. He sends out
Rocket Drowzee and I get Chan knocked out after a jab. I then kill it for
the win with a fully powered Buzz. After our battle, he said, "That's it,
I'm converting to a Haymaker and put more trainers in my decks". I applauded
this very intelligent statement and went on to my next battle.

Battle report: Vs. Teito (Going Batty)
I wish this battle had lasted a bit longer, but it didn't. In a way, I see a
bit of admiration in Teito's eyes when we battle, which makes me glad to see
that other trainers do look up to each other. His Zubat went to my Scyther
as I went first. Scyther quickly became Electabuzz, which paralyzed it, and
then Thunder Punched it for the win.

Battle report: Vs.? (?)
My friend, James (the gym leader that day), had found the Sabrina's and
Koga's challenges. All of the more experienced trainers (including myself)
were appalled at both. I decided to test my deck's limits by using Koga's
challenge. I won. After the battle, James gave me my Creme Badge since he
had forgotten to battle me and was busy and was being really nice.

Battle report: Vs. Ralph (Mono-Grass)
I took over as Gym Leader (another gym run by Team Rocket) for a short
while. From here on, I don't remember my battles as I was in a hysteria over
the completely unfair challenges offered (at this point thinking that
Giovanni's Challenge [The boss wouldn't do that to me...] would be 'After
each attack, flip a coin. If tails, you lose'). I beat him and his Moth,
Dark Muk, Scyther deck.

Battle report: Vs. Tim (Raindance?)
He played Raindance and was desperate for the points for his badge, so he
forfeited and got the points. I got my points for Koga's Challenge and
contemplated what deck I could build for Sabrina's Challenge.

Battle report: Vs. Zach [With a 'c'](Bad Deck)
This was a short battle, I kicked his butt. Teito had to fill in for him so
he could go off and do something and he came back to watch me finish him
off.

Battle report: Vs. Teito (Going Batty)
It seems he and Zach play rainbow decks with cards they find or get in
boosters. He challenged me to a rematch, which I gladly accepted. I won
again.

Battle report: Vs. Loretta (Rhyhorn's Revenge)
Very quick match. It was Scyther to the horned one. Turn two I slashed with
a Power Plus for my last League battle and points for my 2nd Evee!

Battle report: Vs. Loretta's Father (Rhyhorn's Revenge)
Her father and I talked for a while about card values and such and I even
made a trade with him for my 4th Promo Arcanine for a Computer Search. He
then asked me from time to time whether the trades he was making were good.
I evened each out and gave my nod of approval. Just before the tourney, he
challenged me. This battle took very, VERY long. He had an energy shortage
early on as I ERed everything in sight. One of his Rhyhorn got a horn attack
off, but I won with both of our decks VERY thin, and me taking 6 prizes to
none.


Mission Successful!

I reported back to Rocket Base after flying back on my Pidgeot to Viridian
City and then reported to the lab underneath the game corner in Celadon to
work on more projects.
I began to contemplate how I'd get my next TM and how I could use it, but
then realized I needed not the TM's as they seemed useless to me. I'd get
them for respect and for the sake of getting them, not because they look
good. Of course, I did this after I bored a hole through the tourney with my
Patriotic Haymaker. The test run of the enhanced Shungoku Satsu Haymaker was
a success, mission 2 would be getting my 2nd TM and completing Sabrina's
Challenge.

Prop's to everyone at the league for not fearing a challenge. You will all
one day learn that success lies within being up to the challenge, mostly,
not the actual win.

PokéPunk,
Team Rocket Trainee, Signing off

(Comments, questions, concerns, hate mail, Justin Smith, help with your
deck, suggestions, or other, send to: insomniac_gamer@hotmail.com)

<End Transmission>