The Return of the Patriotic Haymaker: Star Spangled
Time: 6/08/00
Place: Timewarp Comics and Games
Event: Tourney
Deck: Patriotic Haymaker V. 2.17

Preface: The first time I played this, way back in April, I had come in 3rd
in the tourney. It had been defeated by only a single person. This deck was
formatted to easily take any other deck thrown my way as it can stall,
attack, remove energy, and can work without trainers (thanks to Koga's
Challenge). After months of tweaking, I had the deck set. I was ready for
the tourney.

<Intro: 'STARS AND STRIPES!'>
The Patriotic group had defended its honor long ago, but another terror
awaited it, a new threat to America, the 'new' tourney environment. The
former members of the deck had since separated, but a new team had been
assembled. The new team was grouped by Lapras, Magmar, Chansey, and Tauros.
Kangaskahn had since left and decided to stay away from the group. Professor
Oak and Bill had joined as well. A new era had come, one in which the
shadows had set and only the new group could light the way.
<End intro>

Pokémon: 13

2x Chansey- Chansey is easily the greatest Basic in the game (next to
Buzz'). It can attack, stall, or do both. Double edge is the best tactic to
destroy Hay Pokémon.

3x Tauros- Justin Smith was wrong, Tauros is GREAT. This bad boy shreds
through his Psychic friends, as I've beaten allot of Psy decks using him.
Stomp is a good attack which collecting damage for Rampage.

4x F. Magmar- Best fire basic known. Smokescreen has helped him beat yet
ANOTHER Raindance deck. My strategy is to use Smokescreen is your opponent
has a good chance of wasting Magmar or try and poison them if they lack
energy.

4x Lapras- Lapras is a great Pokémon. Every player who uses him should go by
this strategy (notice how I said SHOULD), Confuse Ray until your opponent's
active is confused and tear through with 30 damage each turn.

Trainers: 25

2x Gust of Wind- If you don't have even one in your deck, you're begging to
lose. Why? It prevents either allowing your opponent to build up a damaged
weakling or Gust out a high retreat cost Pokémon from your opponent's bench
and prevents your opponent from knocking you out.

4x Energy Retrieval- Do you know how annoying it is to lack the energy your
opponent just Super Energy Removed off of your fully powered Lapras? Get it
back when you need it.

4x Plus Power- 10 damage almost always means the difference between a knock
out or another turn for your opponent to regroup.

4x Energy Removal- People scoff this, but it's really easier to use then SER
as it does the same thing with no backfire on your part. Also a good combo
with SER to leave your opponent dry.

4x Super Energy Removal- Technically, it's equal to the Devastator Cannon
from Opposing Forces (Half-Life part 2), you lose a pit to do massive damage
to your opponent. 'Use it wisely my son.'

2x Prof. Oak- A new hand has proven its usefulness to me through this
tourney. I want Utsugi, though.

4x Bill- 2 free cards. 2 measly, stinking, game changing cards with no
downside.

2x Scoop Up- Save whoever and bring up the K.O blow.

Energy- 22

4x DCE- Tauros and Chansey work allot better with these, but it's good to
save them for raindancey days.

9x Fire Energy- This may actually be too much fire energy! I need these for
all sorts of things in my game.

9X Water Energy- I didn't use Lapras as much as I used to, but this is
really great. Use these to power Chansey and Tauros.

The tourney:

We had about 9 people show up, and I was happy to report that most of them
weren't very good. We did, however, have some of the best, back as usual.
Some of which, being MrRK9, Rob Z., and MrRK9's brother, Steve. Dennis,
world's greatest pest, also returned. The tourney was best out of 3 round
game win (IE win 2 out of 3 to have it count as a win).

Round one Vs. Steve /w Raindance- I didn't know he was playing Raindance, so
I benched my Lapras and sent out Magmar. He sent out a Lapras and benched a
Squirtle. He Water gunned for 20 and I went. I Smoke Screened and benched a
Chansey (before Smoking). He breedered into Blastiose and failed to kill my
Magmar. I eventually killed his Lapras and pitted my 2 energy Lapras to his
Blastoise. He killed it while I Double Edged his Blastoise for the win.
Game two- I forgot about this round, I just remember an Early KO of a Magmar
(which I'm 90% sure was all I had) and I lost.
Game Three- Went much like round one only I had no Lapras and ended up
Double Edging his Blastiose for the win.

Round two Vs. Rob Z. with his Cat Deck (Mewtwo, Electabuzz, Gengar, Jynx,
Chansey, and Ditto)- This was the match from hell, the 1st round took an
hour and a half. We exchanged blows this whole time back and forth... I
eventually knocked out all of his guys with 3 cards left in his draw pile.
Round 2- This went a bit shorter, he won in about 20 minutes this time, but
it was fun, so I didn't care.
Round 3- Time was called, this was another long match, I was ahead on prizes
but time was called after Dennis kept talking to me and having me tell him
TO SHUT UP! He kept interrupting and the match ended with us in a draw.

<After the match...>
Rob and I saw, at this point, that we were defiantly going to place. We
promised each other that no matter what, that we'd beat Dennis. We even
shook on it. We both also shook after each match as we both tried very hard
and did very well.

Round three with Zach and his 80-color deck- I really don't know how I was
matched with him because this was MY EASIEST BATTLE, EVEN AFTER THE LEAGUE.
All he had were a bunch of 60-40 HP basics (except his Articuno). I went
first. The match didn't even matter; I sacrificed one Magmar for the good of
the game as I drew all 6 prizes with him yielding one.
Round 2: He started Movie Pikachu to Magmar. He attached an energy and
passed. I Smoked him for 10 after ERing him. He attached another energy and
used 'Recharge'. He searched his deck and said all of his Electric Energy
must be in his prizes. I asked him how much electric energy he had in the
deck. He said 4... I laughed along with two others near by for a good
minute. I eventually took out everything with my lone Magmar and Poison. I
think I drew a Tauros but never used it.

<After the match...>
Rob had played Dennis and SCHOOLED HIM. The next round? A rematch between me
and Rob...
(-o-) POKéBALL! GO!

Match four Vs. Rob and the Cat Deck- Right before the match, we knew both of
us would either be in 1st or 2nd, so this was really to see skill. Then Dan,
the tourney judge, came over and said that it Dennis won, I'd have to play
him but if Steve won, I'd come in 2nd. If I won and Dennis won, Rob would
place in 2nd and if Steve won, Rob would be in 2nd regardless. It turns out
Steve won and I wouldn't have to care about being less then 2nd.
The match with Rob was allot like the 1st, only I drew all my prizes with
him having too left... too close.
Round two went very much the same way, only before the match we agreed to
split the Prize money. I WON! I had come in 1st, for the first time! I was
so happy! Rob and I both got $15 store credit. He bought 2 boosters of WCW
Nitro and saved the rest, I bought the 'Surf's Up, Pikachu!' Manga Graphic
Novel and 2 Professor Utsugi's.

I waited for another 20 minutes for my Dad to pick me up, reading my new
novel (since I had missed one of the issues and there was a bonus which only
came with the novel and was printed in Japan which I REALLY wanted to read).
Rob and I were talking about the others in the tourney and that MrRK9 didn't
place as he usually did. He offered to buy me a soda if I'd pay him back,
but since I was flat broke, I passed and went back to reading my novel.

The Final Standing were:

1st Place: PokéPunk; $15 (origionally $18... *sigh*)

2nd Place: Rob (who's writing a report as well, I think); $15

3rd Place: Steve T.; $6-$10 (I didn't check)

4th Place: Dennis; $0

Props to...:

The Patriotic Haymaker, for winning the tourney.

Rob and Steve, for doing greatly in the tourney.

Jim AKA MrRK9, for not being a sore loser.

Dan, for allowing us to split the prize money.

Teito, for cheering me on in most of my matches.

Dave (the storeowner), for double-checking the prices on the Utsugi cards
and proving that they we're $.75 each instead of $2.00 each.

Slops to...:

Zach, for getting so many Pokémon and making that stupid match last longer
then it had to.

Dennis, for being so annoying and trying to fight me and ending up thrown
into a peg rack of Episode One toys.

People who post bad decks on Pojo and then brag about it being awesome.

Justin Smith, for being the loser he is




Send all questions, comments, concerns, ideas, deck help (mine), deck help
(yours), hate mail, or compliment mail to:
Insomniac_gamer@hotmail.com

PokéPunk
Till' Next time, SCYYYYYYYYYYYY-THER!
"Fool, don't you realize you are nothing to me."