Darkness Incarnate
Time: 6/17/00
Place: Timewarp Comics in Cedar Grove (Senseless Plug)
Event: Tourney
Deck: Darkness Incarnate: Anti-Darwin

[Pre-note: Ness didn't beat me because I dismantled the patriotic haymaker
BEFORE rocket came out he's just a lying bastard. I'll show him l8er.]
Preface: I'd like to say that anyone who is reading this DOESN'T know who
Charles Darwin is, you should immediately either close your browser or click
the little icon (I'm using those terms because only stupid people [or ones
who are just ignorant] don't know of Darwin [not the monkey from that
Nickelodeon show]) that says 'back'. Good, now only intelligent people are
here. Listen closely to this. The deck is HIGHLY powerful and has much
potential, especially if upgraded. Please don't use this deck if you don't
know what you're doing, I beg you. There are strategies involved here,
people! I hate the way everyone, now, trash talks haymaker-style decks,
saying how "Unoriginal" or how "boring" they are. This couldn't be further
from the truth. Any deck which has speedy,
basic stage attacks and no evolution is technically a haymaker/variant. And
with that said,
hardly anyone uses the original model of Haymaker anymore! They have
upgrades, completely new and redone ones, ones which use colors other then
"Gold and Brown", even ones which use none of the original four Haymaker
Pokémon (FarFetch'D, Electabuzz, Scyther, and Hitmonchan), and even ones
like my "Patriotic Haymaker" which go far beyond the original form of
Haymaker! People whom dis Haymakers are only upset and bitter because it's
easily the greatest deck made, if played properly. One key trainer which
stands out is Justin Smith, who I'd like to play sometime (I'll go to PA if
I have to Justin, mark my words.) against my "No strategy using deck"(he
also gave
slops to himself in his last deck report: "Slops to: Anyone who bashes
archetypes", the Haymaker's one) just to prove to all of the people that
haymaker style decks are GOD in
this game. I'm willing to see how he can win damage swap without getting out
Alakazam. >=)
Finally, to all trainers who still think I'm just some "Lame other guy
playing a haymaker, which has no original content and was probably stolen
from somewhere else", A. The idea of using Aero came as soon as Fossil came
out, B. Only using Electabuzz and Scyther DOESN'T make this the original
haymaker deck, C. You obviously didn't click when I said that only the
Intelligent people were left, D. I made this on my own, so screw you.
Finally (again), I applaud all trainers thinking of designing their own
unique
Haymaker. I encourage this, especially for newbies who are looking for a
deck "religion" per-say. One last thing, keep the 'Tomy' brand's Gary
miniature next to your battlefield! It's good luck!
[Please note: I have an "Original Design" Haymaker down on paper and am
waiting for
Gym: heroes (praying it contains Rocket Scyther/Hitmonchan) to come out in
summer. We'll see how unoriginal it is when I do the deck report ;)]

So here we go... the story behind it.

<Intro: Into the dark>

Charles Darwin sat; pondering more of his theory of evolution and how it's
obvious people grew from primitive, tick picking apes. Suddenly a bolt of
lightning streaked in the sky. Within that instant his brain was filled with
an insurmountable pain. "BAAAAH!" he shrieked as this happened. Without
notice, Aerodactyl swooped in, shattering the glass of his window. The pain
slowly diminished, but he still felt it throb every few seconds. A voice
spoke from its mind to his. "Your theories are wrong, human. The world will
soon learn of your mistake, as we will prove that evolution is impossible
with this winged creature before you." said an evil-sounding voice. "This is
not over..." the shadowy voice echoed in his head. He fainted. The darkness
consumed the area. A new madness was unleashed and this time, nothing would
quell it.
<End intro>

Strategy: Firstly, GET OUT AERODACTYL. Evolution is a no-no with this deck.
Obviously it can handle evolutions, but the idea is that you don't want to
have to! KO everything in its basic form before a puny Rocket Charmander
becomes a Dark Charizard! You don't want that now, do you? Second, use
Electabuzz (and Scyther, if there's Hitmons) while powering Mewtwo. Finally,
your army (must... stop... using... warhammer 40k... lingo...) will be
prepared to dispatch any "Unwanted" enemy Pokémon (I TOLD YOU THERE WAS
STRATEGY BESIDES BEATING THE STUFFING OUT OF YOUR OPPONENT).

The Deck:

4x Electabuzz <Easily the best, speed oriented basic in the game. Doing 40
by turn 2 without energy absorption or DCE>
4x Promo Mewtwo <Once again, 40 damage by turn two, but it must be discarded
energy! >
4x Scyther <Have I not gone through this enough? >
2x Aerodactyl <Easily splashed fighting, no evolution. One drawback, you
can't have two out at once without Muk or Goop Gas Attack>
<14 Pokémon>
4x Bill <It's the easiest way to get out cards you want. No discard cost, no
trading. Awesome. >
4x Energy Removal <Not the best... but... an easy way to delay your
opponent>
4x Super Energy Removal <It's obvious why. Whenever I play this card, I
state politely, "They call it ser"(pronounce Sir). >
2x Gust of Wind <Use the mind splitting power on something which will die
easier. >
3x Plus Power <10 more damage is a big difference with Electabuzz and other
bulkies in this deck>
2x Nightly Garbage Run <Gets energy or other needed Pokémon back into your
draw pile. Makes up for cards drawn with bill in the long run>
<19 Trainers>
10x Psychic Energy <What do you think it's for? >
9x Electric Energy <And what about this...>
4x Double Colorless Energy <Aero and Scyther need some form of speed
attacks...>
<23 Energy>[Warning: the new fad of "next to no energy" is starting. It's
like smoking, don't get sucked in!]

The Tourney:

Round 1: Vs. Dennis (Stupid Dark Charizard Deck)<pre-tourney>
Dennis is an annoying, loud-mouthed kid who lives to destroy the brains of
people who play at Timewarp. I he runs around hitting people for no reason
and stealing my red Yankee's cap. It had fun destroying his
Charizard-kissing butt. It started out Scyther, Electabuzz and a Fossil to
two Rocket Charmanders (what a surprise...). I Shocked and paralyzed 1st
turn, 2nd turn I evolved into Aerodactyl and stopped his deck cold. I he got
out another basic, but his 3 guys were toasted by Electabuzz.
[Note: My book is now filled and I can't get anymore stamps until the Creme
(Volcano) badge comes in. I had about 10 other matches pre-tourney, but I
remember this and one other and this one was more fun to post.]

Round 2: Vs. James (Socrates Power [Variation of my deck])
This battle was in his favor most of the time as I couldn't draw what I
wanted when I wanted, so I did what Haymakers don't do well at all; I
stalled, and did a pretty good job of it. With 3 cards left in his deck,
time was called and we both had a draw with me 5 prizes to 2.

Round 3: Vs. Steve H. (Psy-Stall [HA! I beat a deck modeled after Justin
Smith's, badly!)
This was fun. I destroy a STALL deck of all things with this. I just shred
through his Slowpoke (Which couldn't evolve, hehe) and Mewtwo using my
Mewtwo and Electabuzz. I also killed his Abra, which made the match last a
good 30 seconds.

Round 4: Vs. Jeremy P. (Some electric deck)
It was funny how he lasted less then Steve in our 'epic' battle. He started
his Magnemite to my Scyther, which soon became Electabuzz with a Fossil on
my bench. He Self Destructed and knocked out the fossil (but not prize,
except my own). Then he sent out the now 30 HP base Pikachu that was punched
into oblivion.
Record so Far in the Tourney: 3-0-1

Round 5: Vs. Jim T. (Odd Clefable/Magmar)
These were the Finals for 1st I didn't get killed but his Centers did me in.
I'd hit and he'd hit back with the same, then I'd hit, he'd center and hit
back some more... blah blah... I tried to stall like with James, but it
didn't work too well. Oh well, one loss.

Round 6: Vs. James (Battle for 2nd/3rd)
He won against Rob, who couldn't come in a place unless he won. Since we
both had a loss and a draw, we had to battle for second and third. Once
again, didn't get what I wanted and just kept dying. I knocked out one of
his but he took out most of mine.
Final Score: 3-2-1(HA!)

I had wished they'd let us play a bit longer in our first battle so I'd have
won... But they
didn't, and I took 3rd, $5 store credit, which I used to buy a Base 2
booster, from which I pulled out a Raichu and Tauros (I need them for a new
deck)! In all, I didn't do too badly, as I was undefeated in the League
matches I played before the tourney.

I can't believe it's not Sloppy Props!
Props to:
Gul'Dan (Warcraft 2) who invented the quote: "I am darkness incarnate, I
will not be denied"
James for using the term "Bootleg" whenever applicable.
Fudge! The brown and chocolate treat!
Gym 1, which will mark the era of unstoppable Haymakers.
The haymaker/potpourri archtype (that's how you spell it Justin...), for
being superior in every way to most other decks.
You, for reading this really long deck report!
Lissanne Lake, for being the coolest, wisest older-trainer, the people at
Timewarp I know!
Raichu for being cool.
Those kids trying to con Tim out of his Dark Raichu for allowing me to foil
their plans
That lady at the pizza place next-door Timewarp for getting my order ready
so fast.


Slops to:
Timewarp, for not having a Tourney the week before.
Raindance, not to insult it, but it's getting old now with all the ways to
stop it...
Justin S., for being cocky about psychic decks, contradicting himself, and
dissing
Haymaker style decks.
People who don't know how to play any of the main archetype's (Rain Dance,
Stall, Haymaker, and Do the Wave).
You, if you read this instead of doing your homework (school is more
important then Pokémon!).
Everyone who hates Haymakers.
Ness, for lying when he said he beat me in his June deck report. (I
dismantled the
Patriotic Haymaker before Rocket came out, but he didn't show up at Timewarp
so I never
got to 'thank' him for his mentioning of me by my real 1st name, Cole [Not
Kohl, you stupid twit!]. Call me PokéPunk, as the name suits me more.)
The Rocket set for wasting more time before Gym comes out.
The Boadies for being... well, Boadies...
Finals and School ending the 22nd

Current projects: <Not giving away strategy... yet>
Desert Storm (fighting/lightning)
X-Static (lightning/psy)
Black Mesa <you know... from Half-Life? >(Psy/Fighting/Fire])
Surprise ThunderJab (Fighting/Electric)
Star Spangled: The Return of the Patriotic Haymaker (I have it made,
Fire/Water/Colorless)
Darkness Incarnate V. 2.1 (Evil/Psy/Electric)

Questions, Comments, concerns, ideas, being an angry Justin Smith because I
spent half the deck report bashing you for being an arrogant braggart, hate
mail, deck help?
Send any of these to: insomniac_gamer@hotmail.com

PokéPunk
"And the world's greatest trainer is, Mr. Mewtwo!"-Nurse Joy

______________________________________