Darkness Incarnate V. 3.402
Place: Timewarp Comics and Games
Cedar
Grove, NJ
Time:
1-2/22,29,6/01
What better way to ring in the New Year then to bring back an old deck? I can’t think of a better way to say, “Happy New Year!” then to beat down my opponent with a deck I saved in apprentice after I downloaded it (of course with modifications to fit that of the current environment). Darkness Incarnate was my most ruthless creation at the time I made it, and when I disturbed its burial, it came back from the dead to wreak what havoc it had previously wrought. Anyway, The Boss had yet another assignment for me to use something old for a New Year… this was all I had so I used it accordingly.
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Dear
Rocket Employee,
After all of your past successes and temporary guarding of Rocket Labs
in Saffron City, I’ve decided to include you in a New Year’s bash I’ve
had planned. We no longer have any secret labs, but have one in Rocket
Central. Our lab technicians are all off on vacation and haven’t been able
to create any new specimens before their break; therefore, this mission is
your call. We currently want to re-take the Cedar Grove Pokémon League. They
recently acquired their own new Pokémon League after this recent season’s
passing and we would like you to start anew and regain control. I recall that
you have a lineup, which you have left unused for quite some time, a project
you named Darkness Incarnate. We here at Rocket Central encourage that you try
this team out in order to add spice to what we currently cannot offer y! ou. I
expect your reply will be you
Sincerely,
Giovanni <End File> I was upset that the Lab Techs got an extended vacation,
but was happy I would be paid before they would. Somehow The Boss got a hold
of old teams I had assembled… I didn’t want to pry and decided it would be
best that I kept to myself over this matter. Darkness Incarnate V. 3.402 3x Sneasel <40 for just a single ‘heads’ flip, up
to 140 damage with a full bench an every flip ending up ‘heads’. Free
retreat and a 1st turn, non-darkness attack allow Sneasel to fit
into the splash range> 3x Movie Promotional Mewtwo <The centerpiece of
Darkness Incarnate since its birth. Mewtwo rules. Best psychic basic in the
game at this time if I say so myself> 3x Ditto <Hey, want to see something annoying? How
about I copy your Rocket’s Zapdos and Electroburn in half the time and take
less damage then you would? Wouldn’t that just be the most painful thing
ever? Ya, I thought so!> 2x Gligar <The new Scyther, only this one is the
answer to most Electric and Colorless types. Gligar is the new reason to play
Fighting if there was ever a reason not to> 3x Eco Gym <Darkness Energy is precious to DI, I
can’t have it disappear to a stupid thing like Super Energy Removal…> 3x Gold Berry <You figured you’d kill me at the end
of my turn due to poison. You figured wrong> 3x Computer Search <Is that another Mewtwo I see on
your bench? Cool! Let’s pull out a Gust of Wind and see what happens when I
Psyburn it!> 3x Gust of Wind <I don’t like that Rocket’s Zapdos
you have active, let’s see if your Rocket’s Snorlax would like to shake
hands with Gligar, shall we?> 2x Oak <Let’s see, I got the Double colorless with
that last Computer Search… Oh, look, one card in hand! Watch 1 become 7… 2
is enough to not deck myself and I can always Itemfind one for
emergencies!> 4x Bill <2 cards can change a game. 2 cards can draw
you a Gold Berry when you’re about to die or draw an Oak/Computer Search to
get any other card from your deck. 2 cards were how things used to be back in
the early days of the game and is how it shall be on> 3x Scoop Up <Scoop Up is Switch on steroids- or is it
a Super Potion with a Switch built in? No one can really know…> 2x Itemfinder <Finish a game early or save a game
late> 4x Plus Power <Finish the game when you want. You
control the tides of a match with this> 2x Nightly Garbage Run <And just in case things
don’t go as I planned, I save thee for a last resort…> 4x Double Colorless Energy <In case of a water
landing, please use double colorless energy to make Ditto and Gligar
floatation devices> 4x Darkness Energy < “The day draws near- and
Doomhammer cannot know what terrors await him, for I am
Gul’Dan… I am darkness
incarnate. 12x Psychic Energy <I can use this to see, and see
through you and your plan> The Chaos began after I 1st tried the deck
(and after finally trading for the last bits of the deck) at Wizards and
decided that I’d go all out at Timewarp that Saturday. I hadn’t been in a
while, I sacrificed my Saturday leagues to spend time at home so I could go to
Magic tourneys Friday and judge Pokémon Sunday. That weekend I had a lot of
work to do involving signing up for High School. My parents let me off for
cooperating in the 2 days of nothingness. “They no longer care about their own suffering- show
them something worse.”- Crovax Round One: James (the Gym Leader)- Since I became a
tourney judge, I’ve been less hostile towards him. Since no one was at the
league, he wanted to battle me. I didn’t stop this mistake, just decided to
let it happen. He built a new Mono-Electric deck with Buzz, Elekid, Surge’s
Buzz, and Rocket’s Zapdos. The battle began- forgot whom I had active but it
wasn’t the Pokémon I wanted most. I eventually gained an advantage of
attacking with Gligar to his weak Buzzes and then just beat up on the Zapdoses
with something more flexible (something like Ditto). Most way through, more
people came and he just gave up. Round Two: Marc (Hotfoot)- I usually want to play the
toughest and best legionnaires, but sadly none were there to do so. Mark
played a preconstructed deck with ‘improvements’, namely Beedrill. The
game went something like this- Ditto poisons Weedle, Weedle Poisons Ditto.
Scoop Up Ditto. Send out Mewtwo- Psyburn until I have 6 prizes. Round Three: Bill (Brillo)- Bill is the greatest
contributor to Brillo. He helped me design the deck to its current caliber,
and he needed quick points to get his badge since James was being mean and not
believing that he had played about 7 games (how you don’t believe a 20
something year old who used to be a Gym Leader himself is beyond me) so he
sent out a Mewtwo, me with Gligar and I slashed it to death. We got points.
Big climactic ending, eh’? Round Four: Nebraska (The deck he made)- I know he’s
going to be reading this, so I’ll not say to much besides that I beat him up
with the attack Beat Up most of the game. He got a prize to my 6. My dad came after that and I went home and relaxified on
the couch. I forgot to ask a friend of mine for a lift on Tuesday,
so I missed out on WotC league. I went that Thursday to a low turnout League
at Timewarp. At least the turnout was better then the number of people I
played on Tuesday =( Round 5: Bradley (Wanna-be Wigglytuff)- I’m pretty sure
I played Bradley on Saturday, but this battle was a bit more spectacular since
he happened to be playing a deck I loathe (sorry, I just don’t like Wiggly
because I have to play against the same [Wiggly] deck every week in either
league or a tourney just because some people don’t understand the concept of
building their own deck). His deck was odd for a Wiggly; it had more evolution
then most and lacked decent basic Pokémon… I ended up icing off all of his
Pokémon with Sneasle and Mewtwo and I’m pretty sure I used Ditto at some
point. I won, needless to say. I got an email from him later in the week when
he finally found out I was PokéPunk and asked for deck help with a Raindance
he made. Round 6: Joe (Borrowed Brock Deck)- Joe was really out of
it. He borrowed Bradley’s Brother’s Brock deck (say that 5 times fast) and
the deck happened to be terrible. I just sent out Gligar for the fighting
resistance and got 1 Psyburn in. The deck was basically Sandshrews and Onix.
After the battle, we tried to rebuild Bradley’s Brother’s Psychic deck. I
then went off to play Bradley’s Brother, won, but forgot how the battle went
and what his deck was like. ^_^’ Round 7: Alex (Gym Leader) vs. Blond Glasses Guy (Weird
Brillo deck)- Alex is like James, he’s younger and less skilled at the game
then I. He asked me to borrow a deck so I lent him Darkness. He played the
deck fairly wrong, but he won. The battle was taking too long, so I don’t
remember much of it… I just watched as Alex Oaked before he played a Psychic
energy on Mewtwo and sent the wasted energy to the discard pile even though
there were 3 Psychic Energies in there and a Double Colorless… It’s nice
to see how someone else plays your deck. I had to judge Sunday and I didn’t go to League
Saturday, so I had to go on Tuesday. Round 8: Dave (Blastizard Deck)- Dave is a great TCG
player, but makes odd decks that simply suit the league… I offed 3 Squirtles
after I absorbed energy turn 1 with Mewtwo and then burned like crazy. Round 9: Name has Slipped My Mind (Haymaker?)- It started
my Mewtwo again (this league session left everyone who cut my deck giving me a
great hand) to his… uh… well, it was something I destroyed quickly because
I can’t remember the battle. Round 10: Kid 1 (Haymaker)- It started Gligar and Mewtwo
(3rd time, I promise that this is the last time he was in my
opening hand) to 2 Rocket Hitmonchan’s and an Electabuzz. The Electabuzz was
active, although it seems he didn’t take intrest that it was the only
non-weak Pokémon he had. I burned off the Electabuzz and two Chans. He sent
out a Hitmonlee as well, which doesn’t go to well with Mewtwo so it died as
well. Round 11: Jessica (The Gym Leader)- I has wanted to
battle Jess for a while, but she was either too busy to battle when I wanted
or already battling. Since I was the only one left who wasn’t playing, she
sat down for a game and we battled. It started a Neo Horsea to Sneasle. She
won the die roll (I do high roll goes first on my 12 sided, blue die) and
attached a water energy. I attached a Darkness Energy and a Plus Power, then
Comp Searched for a 2nd. I then fury swiped and got 2 heads in a
row and won. Round 12: Kid 2’s Sister (Green-Blue)- Her deck
reminded me of a deck I made a while ago called Nuclear Winter, using Dark
Muk, Golduck, and Pinsir. I ate up her Pokémon with Mewtwo. Her mother
commented that I kept getting energy and no Pokémon while she was energy
screwed. This insinuating that I was cheating, Jess came over and said “Hey,
he’s a good player. He just got a better draw.” I was glad I didn’t have
to say anything, since it was her daughter that cut my deck herself. I went on
to play her brother. Round 13: Kid 2 (Fire Deck)- Very fast battle. It was
Magmar to Ditto and Gligar. I smogged 1st turn with a Plus Power
and Poisoned him. He Smokescreened me. I tried to Smog next turn, but failed
and he died the next turn of poison. Round 14: Kid 3 (Colorless/Water Deck)- I started Mewtwo
(I drew a Gligar next turn and he cut my deck- don’t look at me it was the
bad luck of the draw) to base Ratata, Meowth, and Snorlax. It looked like a
bad game from there, but he didn’t draw an energy for the next four turns. I
burned his Ratata turn 3 with two plus powers. He then sent out a Horsea which
he benched the previous turn. I Psyburned that and a Fossil Horsea until I got
a fully powered Sneasle and Beat Up until I won. I then commented saying that
had he sent out something resistant to Mewtwo, he would have had a better
chance to win. He noted that and then walked off. That was the end of Tuesday, not including several
battles I forgot about or didn’t play Darkness Incarnate in. I reported back
to the boss afterwards, but he just kind of listened and hung up, not saying
what my next assignment would be or whether I succeeded. Things weren’t
seeming too well down at HQ, but I had more pressing matters like typing this
report first… I’d like to offer props to…: Bill for playing me for his badge Jim T. for running the tourney with me and doing a great
job as usual Tim for finally trading me for the Sneasle I let him
borrow James D. for not asking if the sleeves anyone was using
this week were marked I’d like to flagrantly push slops on…: Mark Dawson for forging a report which insulted both me
and the players at Timewarp. He has never played me or played at Timewarp in
any league or tourney event and therefore wrote an entire article to spite me. Dennis for not taking his sedatives before he came to the
league on Saturday Nebraska for cheating from time to time and writing a
repot that everyone at Timewarp mocks him for (See Feb. Reports with Jesse C.) James for being Kool-Aid For any questions, comments, concerns, Incubus
autographs, deck help, pro/negative emails, or just Pokémon/Magic related
stuff, email me at insomniac_gamer@hotmail.com.
-PokéPunkI will not be denied.”- Gul’Dan>