You either love him or want to use him as a cherry bomb in a toilet but there's
no denying the fact Voltorb sucks.
Or does he? In an effort to get Zap Haymaker Deck users a different thought
about Voltorb I have decided to compare Voltorb to another Pokemon, I
considered it would be only far to compare him to an electrical type Pokemon,
but all the those Pokemon are better then him or her or whatever. So in
absolute fairness in trying to find a Pokemon worse then Voltorb I have
considered to compare him with a Pokemon that is not even half it's standard...
but I haven't got a Porygon card yet so I'll just compare it to Clefairy Doll.

ROUND 1 - HP
We all know that Voltorb is an electrical Pokemon, why just look at his name it
has the word "Orb" in it. So he's a bit of an electrical Pokemon with 40 health
points. Clefairy Doll is... a doll and the doll has 10 health points. Also
being a doll it wouldn't need any energy maybe a few double A but no energy
cards. Wait there's a more: If a Clefairy Doll is knocked out your opponent
will not receive one of his six possible prizes unlike if someone finishes off
a Voltorb. So let's look at the scores...
Health Points: Voltorb | Consequences: Clefairy Doll | Energy Type: Clefairy
Doll
Winner: Clefairy Doll

ROUND 2 - Attacks
Voltorb being one of the meanest Pokemon out can only do a tackle for 10 HP.
Also to do the so called "tackle" you have to put down one energy card which
can be any except double colourless. The move will not poison, confuse,
paralyse, put to sleep or make you have an advantage over the opponent's
Pokemon. Neither will it heal or protect you. It's a tackle. You just run into
the opponent. And Clefairy Doll, putting it lightly, can't do shit. SCORE!
Most Violent: Voltorb | Most Cheap: Voltorb | Advantage: Voltorb | Consequence:
Voltorb
Winner: Voltorb

ROUND 3 - Weakness
Clefairy Doll is of no weakness while Voltorb is vulnerable towards fighting
Pokemon. Hmm... this isn't turning out to what I expected.
Weakness: Clefairy Doll | Consequence: Clefairy Doll
Winner: Clefairy Doll

ROUND 4 - Resistance
Neither Pokemon have a resistance but... um... Voltorb is round...
Resistance: Draw | Roundness: Voltorb
Winner: Voltorb

ROUND 5 - Retreat Cost
For Voltorb to get the heck out of there it would cost him one energy card.
Probably the one he was using tackle on and poor old Clefairy Doll can't
retreat. Oh cue the scores.
Lowest Retreat Cost: Clefairy Doll (Can't Retreat, Can't Pay)
Winner: Clefairy Doll (Gee Voltorb I thought you would win that one.)

ROUND 6 - Evolution
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh mercy.
Best Evolution: Voltorb | Fastest Evolution: Voltorb | Slowest Evolution:
Voltorb | Consequence: Voltorb | Advantage: Voltorb | Roundness: Voltorb |
Health Points: Voltorb | Size: Voltorb | Pose: Voltorb | Technique: Voltorb
Winner: VOLTORB

FINAL ROUND - Value
The final round the one that will decide it... Hmm... Clefairy Doll is worth
five dollars if you obtain one and a Voltorb? WOW! Record breaking 30 cents!!!
Ha! Let's see how this effects the scores now!
Winner: Clefairy Doll

Oh Bugger.


Voltorb - 3 Clefairy Doll - 4
Winner Overall: Clefairy Doll

So you see? As I stated at the start of this post I will give all you Zap
Haymaker Deck users a clear and precise thought about Voltorb that you never
considered: HE'S BAD.

Thank you.