(Guyana, South America. A beam of psychic energy comes out of the sky, and
when it leaves, we see a human, a Mewtwo, and a Nyuura standing in the middle
of the jungle.)

Justin: I think we took the wrong turn at Bangkok, because this ain't
Disneyland.
Mewtwo: I hate using Teleport. It's like being unpleasantly drunk.
Justin: What's so bad about being drunk?
Nyuura: Ask a glass of water.

(A Mew goes flying by.)

Justin: Hello! We've got an opportunity. There goes a Mew. Let's show the
basic facts.

League Promo Mew
HP: 50
Retreat Cost: 1
Weakness: Psychic
Resistance: None
P: Psywave: 10X
This attack does 10 damage for each Energy attached to the Defending Pokemon.
PP: Devolution Beam
Choose an evolved Pokemon (your own or your opponent's). Return the highest
stage
Evolution card on that Pokemon to its player's hand. That Pokemon is no
longer Asleep, Confused, or Paralyzed, or anything else that might be the
result of an attack (just as if you hadevolved it).

Justin: I don't see what's so good about it. Sure, it can do 50 damage to a
fully-stocked Blastoise in a Raindance deck, but then what? Mew gets its
little pink butt kicked. Still, it is cute.
Mewtwo: I could kick its @$$ without trying.
Justin: MEWTWO!! This Pokemon is very rare. We don't need your macho talk.
Nyuura: Excuse me, but what's that over there?

(Nyuura points to a Mew wearing a Hawaiian shirt and carrying a camera on a
strap around its neck.)

Justin: Probably the Southern Islands Mew. Let's cover him.

Southern Islands Mew
HP: 30
Retreat Cost: None
Weakness: Psychic
Resistance: None
P: Rainbow Beam
Choose 1 color Energy attached to Mew. Do 20 damage to each of your
opponent's Pokemon of that color.

Justin: You know, if you slap a Rainbow Energy on it, it could be very
powerful. However, I don't think it could stand up to the damage by the
Energy, and still survive the next turn.
Nyuura: Oh my God!
Justin: What?
Nyuura: If he's brought to the U.S., it could create a chain of the pieces of
#$@% we like to call "Rainbow Decks."
Everyone: AHHHHHHH!

(Their screaming attracts a Mew.)

Justin: Follow that specimen!

(They chase the Mew into a temple, and stop in front of an old heiroglyph of
a Mew.)

Justin: Reminds me of Ancient Mew. Speaking of it, it's coming out as a movie
promo. So, let's cover it. This translation is via a proxy card provided by
Pojo.

Ancient Mew
HP: 30
Retreat Cost: 2
Weakness: Psychic
Resistance: None
PP: Psyche: 40

Justin: Ewwww. Only a collector's item. The 30 HP guarantess it won't live to
get 2 Psychic Energy on it. It screams in a high squeaky voice, "Gust of Wind
me!"
Mewtwo: (in a small, squeaky voice) Gust of Wind me!
Justin: Ha, ha.

(The trio goes down to a river, and see a Mew resting on a lily pad.)

Justin: Hey, let's rap this up with Lily Pad Mew.

Lily Pad Mew
HP: 40
Retreat Cost: 1
Weakness: Psychic
Resistance: None
Pokemon Power: Neutralizing Shield
No Pokemon that is an evolved form can do damage to Mew. This power stops
working while Mew is Asleep, Confused, or Paralyzed.
P: Psyshock: 10
Flip a coin. If heads, the Defending Pokemon is Paralyzed.

Justin: We have a winner! This guy can hold off Blastoise while slowly, yet
surely, whittling away his health. Plus, the Psyshock can both damage and
hold off Hitmonspams long enough to kick their butts. (to his Pokemon) Come
on guys, we're going to Disneyland!
Mewtwo and Nyuura: YAY!
Mew: Mew!
Justin: Huh?
Mew: Mew mew mew. Mew mew mew mew!
Mewtwo: He says he wants to go, too.
Justin: Okay, just grab on!

(Mewtwo teleports everyone away.)