Woohoo! How interesting. An article about how certain cards such as Gust of
Wind and Item Finder suck in psychic decks. Being who I am (Spike, for those
of you who care) I can't possibly let such an opportunity slide by. So if
you'll excuse me a moment while I pull on my article analysis boots, we can
get to the bottom of this.

I've decided that I really like being able to quote and respond to each of a
person's assertions individually. It worked well for my breakdown of
Satoshi's pro-archetype article, and perhaps it will work again. So read on.

> Hey everybody, Justin here again. I've been reading some of the more
recent killer deck reports and I >really have a thing or two to say about
them.

Well, I am the first to admit that some of the Killer Deck Reports seem a bit
below par. But that's hardly a reason to start attacking people.

> Let's start at the root. You can only make a GOOD psychic deck when you
have the cards neccessary >(And not poor man's cards). Then again, most of
the time, it's just cards that belong in other >archetypes. Here's what I
have to say about some common psychic deck errors:
>
>Error #1: Kanghaskhan
>
>This is a common mistake that annoys me. If you have enough money to buy a
Kanghaskhan, you >obviously have enough to buy a chansey. These cards belong
in those lame Rain Dance decks, fetching, >fetching, fetching.

Why do you assume that this is a mistake? Kangaskhan is a very good Pokemon,
thank you. Not that Chansey doesn't also have his place. The two are designed
for very different types of decks. Chansey is for stalling, stalling, and
more stalling. Kanga is for card advantage and attacking. Your argument seems
to be based on an interesting and possibly inaccurate premise.

>Error #2: Gust of Wind
>
>These pop up all over psychic decks. This is a STALL deck, not a psychic
attack deck. You're supposed >to STALL in a STALL deck and ATTACK in an
ATTACK deck. Got it? Good.

Okay, here we have it. You're talking about Stall decks. Okay... but you
never mentioned Stall decks up above, just Psychic decks. Are all psychic
decks stallers? Guess we can tear up our Movie Mewtwos and Gengars, then.

>Error #3: Bill
>
>Please, please don't use this card in stall decks. It makes them look bad,
and they only help you deck >yourself.

Even stallers need to draw cards sometimes. Since there's no Pokemon that can
stall all by itself (not even Chansey) stall decks rely on mild drawing and
searching to get the board set up in their favor. Besides, most other decks
will Oak at least once during their setup, overcoming any disadvantage you've
incurred by Billing.

>Error #4: Prof. Oak
>
>See above. . .

Okay, you have a point. But I still don't understand whether you're talking
about ALL psychic decks, or just stall decks. You seem to treat them as
though they're one and the same, but they're not.

>Error #5: Scyther
>
>Yuk, how disgusting. I actually saw Scyther in a psychic deck. He belongs
in Gaymakers, thank you >very much.

Scyther just kicks ass. No question about it. He's even good in stallers. 70
HP? No retreat? He belongs in just about every deck, thank you very much.

>Error #6: Item Finder
>
>Why keep using item finder to get trainers back when you discard 2 valuable
cards to get it. You >discard a Mr. Mime and an Alakazam to get. . .an
energy removal. Not good.

Question: Why do you assume that people are going to discard their most
valuable in-hand cards to get back the least valuable card from the
graveyard? I usually just pitch energy or a common basic that I don't need.
Stop trying to prove that a card is bad by assuming that the people using it
are complete idiots.

>Error #7: Pokemon Breeder
>
>Once again, I say this. WHY won't people wake up and realize that you don't
combine archetypes? You >do NOT need this in a STALL deck.

Excuse me. I've tried to contain myself, but I'm going to have to ask you to
lean over here.

*slap* *slap* *slap* *slappity slap slap slap*

Now then... YOU decide how fast you'd like to have Alakazam hit the board.
It's all up to you.

>Error #8: Switch
>
>Did someone forget about retreating? Why waste the space with this card?

 Okay, I'll just remove all your energy so you can't pay the 3 to move
Alakazam's fat ass back to the bench. Or I could just Confuse you. Bet you
wish you had a Switch now.

>Error #9: Tauros
>
>Puh-leeze. When was the last time you've actually played someone who used
tauros? I can't remember >the last time. The reason- it's simple. Just too
weak.

Well, I can't recall the last time I saw Tauros in a psychic deck. But it's
not neccessarily a bad Poke. If people can put it to good use, more power to
them!

>Error #10: Snorlax
>
>Oh, brother. Its attack is far too energy-intensive, its pokemon power is
useless, and its HP is awful. >Why use it?

Pokemon Power useless? Consider that status effects can really ruin a stall
deck's day. But you're right on most of the other stuff, I have to admit. He
wouldn't be my first choice in a stall deck either. So don't run him, dude!
It's a free country.

> That's about it for now. So please, if you make a psychic deck, don't
make them look like they're so >weak and hybrid-archetypical. . .

Why don't you show us YOUR psychic deck?

Anyway, I'll wind up here.

Corrections? Comments? Questions? Tourette's syndrome? Send these and other
assorted bits of refuse to spike@pojo.com