Okay, there is no such thing as a useless card. Although you can et pretty
dang close...

Giovanni – Well, this could be a little useful if Giovanni’s Pokémon were
even worth evolving to start with, but then even if Giovanni owned the Base
Blastoise this would still suck more than a toothless pig in a lollipop
factory. You are not going to get this at the right time. You are not going
to get a hand of Giovanni’s Machop, Choke and Champ, Giovanni’s Meowth and
Persian and Giovanni. FULL STOP!!! It’s not worth Oaking or Searching for and
all that, it’s just sad, daft and would only ever be played if Giovanni’s
Pokémon were good!

This first one I'm gonna get sarcastic (sorry, have to get it outta my
system), but all the others are nice and friendly, so...Ya, we all know
Giovanni's Nidoking stinks. I mean...120? That's horrible...Okay stalling
attack? Who needs moves like Intimidate and Scrunch? Who needs to buy time,
while waiting for that last grass energy you need? 40 or 70 damage? No one
wants to do 70 damage...that's why Rocket's Zapdos and Wigglytuff (with a
pluspower) were never used...It does have some bad points...but you did say
that Psychic is the "least played Pokémon type in the league". Giovanni turn
one, Breeder to Nidoking and Intimidate if he's active, or, if he's benched,
Pulled Punch, Thunder Shock, Scrunch or whatever until he's built. Some of
Giovanni's pokemon are worth playing...


Charity – My goodness moi, what absolute rubbish! Don’t get me wrong, but I
thought the idea of a Pokémon Battle was to win by doing lots of damage.
Reducing it is just dumb, and while the more imaginative among us asked if we
could ‘reduce’ attacks by minus 100, we all know this card just sucks.

This card is great with Chansey. It doesn't say reduce it to just the
defending pokemon. "Oh, look. Your Feraligatr has 40HP left and I have 70HP
left. I think I'll Charity and attach Gold Berry. Double Edge for 40 to each
of us and I get healed in-between turns of that 40." It isn't exactly the
next Professor Oak, but it's good if you use it right.


Porygon – I know it’s unoriginal, but then it sucks. Hey look! Oooooooh! I’m
Porygon! I have 30 HP; I have a weakness to a type which is played a lot! I
have a resistance to probably the least played Pokémon type in the league!
Play me! I mess about with people’s weakness and resistance while I get
kicked! Ooooooh! ‘Nuff said really

At least it's got a good evolution who might be good with Lugia, Sneasel,
Murkrow, Scarmory, Steelix, Tyranitar, any other Steel or Dark pokemon, or a
Potpourri. And Delta-Beam is nice. Rocket Porygon is okay. But by itself,
Base Porygon is pretty bad.


Professor Elm – I wouldn’t put it this low, but I want the world to know how
much this card sucks! If I really need a Trainer such as Rocket’s Sneak
Attack or a component to a combo I Oak till I get it. Elm just, well, stops
you from decking out granted but preventing you from playing that Trainer you
want. Booyah!

How many times do you wish you were about to draw a Dark energy for your
Sneasel. Oh, look it's a Fighting energy...Well if you had gotten an Elm, you
could've gotten the energy, some benched pokemon, some good cards for this
turn, and done some anti-decking. Okay, if Cleffa is so popular, and his
attack is the exact same thing as a Professor Elm, why is Elm so horrible?


Rocket’s Snorlax – I am soooooooooooooooo angry with this guy! He came up to
me and put his fat bum in the road and said ‘OOOOOHHHH! BEAT ME UP!’ Every
Rocket Pokémon is broken. Moltres, Mewtwo, Hitmonchan, Scyther, Zapdos. Oh,
sorry did I miss one. Yup – Snorlax. Bye!

My friend online (thanks for the Idea, CyberMew) has a no energy stall that
uses Rocket's Snorlax. Long-Distance-Hypnosis so either you or your opponant
is asleep. Then Playful Punch. You can do up to 40 a turn without energy. He
is not that good by himself. But no one is, right? Sneasel is horrible by
himself. Without 5 or so benched pokemon, he is nothing more than below
average.


Magikarp – Rocket or Base, who cares? Both are completely inconsiderable in
today environment. Hey, look over there. Gyrados. Stage 1, and with 100HP???
50 damage for (W)(W)(W), and a (W)(W)(*)(*) 30 damage and paralyse attack???
Let’s play it! No, let’s not. We’ve got that stupid carp lying in the way. 


As a matter of fact, it's 40 with a chance of Paralysis. He's just like
Porygon, if you can evolve him, it's worth it. If you can't, you lose the
game. The Rocket one can search for that Gyarados/Dark Gyarados. Buzzap
(althogh not entirely worth it in this case) and Rapid Evolution. Next Turn
attach an energy and you have a fully powered Gyarados on turn three. Or a
fully pumped Dark Gyarados at the end of your second turn.


Shellder – This is a Pokémon that says ‘Kick my shell’. It’s feeble,
tails-fails attacks and pathetic HP are about as useful as Bathroom Scales in
a Space Shuttle.

Nice little joke(no sarcasm in this remark). 30HP is pretty bad. But the
second attackis like Chansey's first. And the second is a shot at confusion
for one energy. The HP (and the evolution) is probably the only bad thing
about it. Confusion is extremely useful. Still this card is not that good.


Goldeen – OK, so Goldeen. What’s it got. 40HP – SO! We can get that from
Staryu and have an extra 10 damage. 10 damage – SO! We can get that form
Horsea and have a Smoke effect, Free Retreat – SO! You can get that from
Scyther. Every aspect of the card is shown up and well, it should be wrapped
in Newspaper and sold with chips ‘n’ salt.
 
According to your little theory, I could say: Wigglytuff? Automatic sleep? I
can get that from Base Haunter. 60 damage? I can get 10 more from Rocket's
Zapdos...80 HP? I can get 10 more from Lickitung...Colorless? I can get that
from Base Porygon. But actually...GOLDEEN IS BROKEN! Look at it. Solid
one-for-10. 40 HP. It's a BASIC. No retreat! Weakness to lightning(who plays
it?) And Seaking is almost as good! Okay, all that was a joke. I just had to
lose this arguing (guilty) feeling I have, now that I'm writing this
sarcastic e-mail. Yes, it is really bad.


BASE GASTLY – I know, I know this is unoriginal but come on. I’m not even
going to say why! A coloured energy for a tails flip for Sleep? An expensive
attack which is just, well a joke really and well PERFECT BOTTOM STATS!!!
Nope, not really. Sneasel’s got that! Sneasel’s actually played.
 
Can't argue. Perfect bottom stats is all that keeps me from leaving it at
that. But you already said that. Just use the Fossil version.


Neo Electabuzz. – The card is not bad, but then it’s name is! ELECTABUZZ!
NO-one will ever, ever, ever play this as it involves not playing the base
version. Oh well. It actually has a lot of talents. Firewood, Wallpaper,
Doorstop, Bookmark, Loo-Roll. The possibilities are endless.

You can't say it's bad 'cause of it's name. That's like saying TR Zapdos is
bad 'cause the Fossil one was bad. 2C-for-20 is good in a Potpourri (and it
rhymes, too.say that last sentence), althogh it's just average. The second
attack get's around resistance and pokepowers. That means with a pluspower he
takes out E. Dratini and Mr. Mime. And with 2 Pluspowers he can take out
Wooper. Base Electabuzz couldn't do any of this. But Base is still better, I
agree.


Sorry if I was bashing or you took it personally, Da Wrath. No card is
useless.See ya.


PICC0L05300@aol.com

Kyle Tarpley, the inventor of Slashtap (not that you care, but I just felt
like writing that)