My last article seemed to go down well, with me only
receiving two e-mails against it (neither seemed to have actually READ the
article; you know, SCANNING the WORDS with your EYES) and one for it.
I think I'll also say now, rather than to shock you later -
if this is the first time that you're reading one of my articles - that I like
to use commas (,), captial letters ('A', 'B', etc.) for proper nouns, emphasis
and everything else they're supposed to be one, full stops (.) and generally
correct syntax, grammar and spelling. You also will not find me writing in
script form with translations, as I - and I think many others - give up as soon
as they read: "ive got electrabuzz with me cos hes my
fdavorite pokemon. hey electrabuzz how r u?". Yeuch!
And it's 'Electabuzz', too.
However, I digress. I stated that I'd lifted some parts of
that old article from others on my site. Seeing as only three people have
read these articles on my page, I'll send them to Pojo, where thousands can!
I present to you my article: 'A Meditation on the TCG: the Unbeatable Deck'.
'The Position'
I've been thinking. We all need to think (for to be, one
needs to think). As many know, the TCG is founded on basic probability - which
can be manipulated, to a certain extent. Many people spend ages honing their
decks to be as good as possible: the first step being to get all the cards they
need (rares and the like), the second is the tweaking. This involves looking at
ratios, and working out exactly how to get what they want as often as possible.
For example, to get a Blastoise out as soon as possible in a Monsoon deck [I
hate the names people give archetype decks. They're all rubbish - Chris],
one will need four of each big search card (Trader and Computer Search) and four
of each evolution (with Breeder as well, to add to the stages). This gives you
four of each stage, and another eight 'stand ins' (the searches). This means, in
effect, you have:
6 and 2/3 Squirtle
6 and 2/3 Wartortle (or 10 2/3 with four Breeder)
6 and 2/3 Blastoise
These cards make up 1/3 of your deck (and more, with
Breeders). You are, therefore, very likely to draw the killer combination. The
point of all this talk? Even probability goes wrong. The greatest deck, which is
virtually impossible to lose with - due to finely honed card numbers - can still
fail if luck doesn't go with it. I have perfected my Monsoon deck (the example
above comes from it) - and generally have a Blastoise out on turn two or three.
If not, I can survive with what I have, then very soon afterwards, get Blastoise
out, due to the sheer chance of drawing what I need, or cards to get it. Every
one in fifty, or so, times, however, it goes wrong. I don't get anything going
well, and fail. This is why 'best out of three' matches are more fair.
'The Caesium' ('The Good Stuff')
This got me on to the idea that, if a deck tries so hard
to win, but can't, it will probably go wrong if the pattern (however unlikely
the chance of this happening) doesn't go together. Why hasn't someone got a deck
which tries not to win, but just not to LOSE? The opponent would deck himself,
for sure, in a vain attempt to defeat this deck - but you wouldn't try to
achieve this goal. You would concentrate on not losing, and not give a second
thought to winning. It would take some willpower - but once you got into the
right frame of mind, it would be hard to beat you. You couldn't lose - so you
would win (despite not wanting this, as your only desire would be not to lose). Comprendez?
Didn't think so.
I'll leave you to make a cup of tea - or coffee, if you so
wish - and mill over that last paragraph, getting to grips with the philosophy
of this, seemingly, self-contradictory deck. You see, it's all in the mind.
'The Uranium-235' (The REEEEEEAAAAAALLLLY Good Stuff')
Good? Enjoy that? Fine. Now, down to the business. There are three ways to LOSE (not to WIN, but to LOSE). Your opponent picks up all his prizes, you deck yourself, or you have nothing on the bench to send out. Let's deal with how to avoid each issue.
To avoid decking yourself is easy: keep circulating the cards (i.e. putting them back in). If your deck centres on this theme, then your opponent will deck himself before you do - as it is inevitable that this will happen at some point (unless you're able to use the Slowpoke - who is never attacked - Scavenging Energy Retrievals strategy). The best way is to keep shoving cards back into your deck. For this, we need: Gambler, Maintenance (yes - it is useful here, as it gets you further away from decking yourself), Mr. Fuji (pronounced 'Hoo-jee') and Lass. These all let you put things back into the deck - but we need to combine them with Itemfinder and Recycle (it helps!) to get them back. We will also need Slowpoke to suck up Trainers - but he is risky due to low HP. Slowpoke is useful, as long as you can get away with his utilisation. The problem here is that Itemfinder (and other Trainers we'll put in later) and Slowpoke discard. The easy solution is to have a Promo Mewtwo absorbing Energy discarded by these cards, then Mr. Fuji can be used to stuff the whole caboodle back into the deck. Promo Mewtwo is, in fact, going to be central to the whole theme due to this ability.
The next part is to avoid not having any basics on the bench: have a lot of them! What to include brings me onto the next point, though...
How to stop the opponent picking up prizes. The trickiest hurdle. Firstly, Clefairy Doll and Mysterious Fossil are the best to stall for this purpose. Now, we need a Chansey to Scrunch (with four DCE to go on it) as the main active. Combine this with Defenders to prevent it being KO'ed by Machamp, Vileplume or Golem, if the worst can happen. That's the main idea over with.
Other strategy points, however, are the most important - as they draw the whole thing together. All Energy (except DCEs) will be used for discarding Trainers: Itemfinder and Computer Search (needed). Promo Mewtwo will, therefore, need to be swapped with Chansey, and Defended, to get back Energy to circulate when it becomes necessary. Switch is best for this. Psychic seems to be the way the deck is heading, so some Mr. Mime could work well combined with Defenders. No Fossil Haunter, though, as you can never tell for certain if it will be able to survive.
The final step is to look at flaws in the strategy. You
will never attack for damage at all! All attacks are to get cards back and
circulate them! Scrunch may not work, but damage can be got rid of with a Mr.
Fuji (and you get to circulate the Chansey and DCE). You could also use a Pokémon
Centre to heal any which gets through, as Mewtwo can absorb the DCE (hurray!),
then be Fujied back into the deck. This is a bit conditional, but could work.
All cards are good to stall with, but the Dolls and Fossils are best - and so
that area should have few problems. There are enough good searches, but Trader
will help get you into the best position (i.e. with a Chansey out, Scrunching,
and a Promo Mewtwo there, ready to be Switched on when the time comes. Or, with
a Slowpoke close at hand, and a Defender, or two, ready.
Although rather unconventional, this deck will normally have
a hand comprised solely of Trainers - but with a few Pokémon or Energy from
time to time. Lass must be used with care (but it is excellent for getting a
worthless hand, full of Trainers, back into your deck - a sort of 'super
Gambler'). This deck never, under any circumstances, tries to be a Stall deck.
It may seem to work on the same principle: get the opponent to deck himself. It
doesn't. Stall decks intend to win. This one doesn't intend to win, winning
comes as a side effect of its purpose: not losing. By now you should have your
head around that idea.
So, what could my deck look like? Here:
Pokémon x 10 (All Basic)
4 x Chansey
2 x Promo Mewtwo
2 x Mr. Mime
2 x Slowpoke
Trainers x 38 (8 'Basic Pokémon')
4 x Computer Search
4 x Clefairy Doll
4 x Mysterious Fossil
3 x Defender
3 x Gambler
3 x Mr. Fuji
3 x Recycle
3 x Itemfinder
3 x Switch
2 x Lass
2 x Pokémon Trader
2 x Pokémon Centre
2 x Maintenance
Energy x 12 (16 Total Colourless Energies)
4 x Double Colourless Energy
8 x Psychic Energy (Mainly used to discard in attacks)
The massive Trainer count is necessary, as most of these
play a part in the strategy. It is hard to go with four of each, but I gave four
to the most useful (you may disagree, but I think the three I gave four to are
best. Remember that one element of strategy is to get them back!). This may turn
out as a case of being a deck like the 'No Weakness' one thought up by one of my
friends. It looks good on paper, but can't perform. Although you may not, as is
the case with every deck, get the exact combination - it is hard to go wrong
with this deck (but, sadly, it can still be beaten by probability).
Unfortunately, I don't have the resources to build this - but
if someone tries it, please tell me if you lose or not.
'The End'
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Article composed by Chris Fenwick, of Edgbaston, Birmingham, UK, Earth.
Send me electronic mail at: caecilius@mac.com
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'The Bit on the Side' ('Super Fun Quiz')
An extra bit added to all of my articles. People to send me the correct answer gets congratulated in my next article!
Question: It takes Old King Cole and his fiddlers seventeen days to build a pig sty. How long, in days, hours, minutes and seconds, will it take the Grand Old Duke of York and his men to build the same wall?
Answers to: caecilius@mac.com
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