...

THUD!

CRASH!

Kev: (moan)
Kadabra: <the pain!>
Ash: oof.
Kev: (gets up) You guys can go. Ive got another TCG tip scheduled now. And I
need to make a note to keep a good distance from Butch's Electrode while
fighting it. (looks at the hole in the roof.) Oh man, the insurance company
isn't gonna be happy about that.
Ash, Misty, and Tracey: see ya.
Kev: now where were we?
Kadabra: <the card tip>
Kev: Right. Okay, our subject today is the Top Ten lists everybody posts.
After examining them thouroughly, Ive found that they have only two types of
Pokemon: Haymakers and Archtypes. I have divided this into Haymakers,
Archtypes, and Neither of the Above.


Section 1--- Haymakers
This section is made up of ... (in case you dont know yet) Haymaker Pokemon!
(Duh) There are more than usual here, because Ive included the new Gym sets.

1. Syther
This guy has been #1 since Jungle came out. Why? not power, not speed, but
incredible flexibility. His free retreat, Fight resistance, 70HP, and
colorless attacks make him capable of being in any deck. Once Neo hits,
he'll be booted down the list a short ways because of Grass-resistant Steel
pokemon.

2. Lt. Surge's Electabuzz (holo)
Charge. Discharge. Charge. Discharge. Capable of delivering 120 on turn 2.
flattens even Lightning resistant pokemon. Combo with NGR.

3. Electabuzz (base)
The Official Raindance Steamroller. Can deck a Blastoise on the second turn.
just watch out for Hitmonchan.

4. Movie Promo Mewtwo
Scored 4th because of Psy resistant Chansey and Wigglytuff. Still, the most
offensive pokemon Psychic has got.

5. TRs Hitmonchan
Cross counter is a great stalling move, scaring your opponent into
attacking, as a lucky coin flip could mean defeat for him. and Magnum punch
is nasty.

6. Fossil Magmar
Probably the best Fire has to offer, and watching your opponent pull his
hair out after he flips five tails in a row while you Smokescreen is fun.

7. Hitmonchan (base)
You were wondering when he would show up, weren't you? He's the fastest and
most straightforward pokemon on the list, but was booted down by Psychic
pokemon (MP Mewtwo), Fight resistance pokemon (Syther), and Psychic pokemon
with Fight resistance (Gengar)

8. TRs Syther
Shadow Images is nice, Blinding Sythe is solid, HP60 and 1 retreat are a
step down from the original. However, he deserves a spot.

9. Lapras
Water's lone Haymaker, this pokemon has decent attacks and a whopping 80 HP.
Beware of Electabuzz!! One lucky Thunder punch will floor him.

10. TRs Moltres
the attack is decent with a good side affect, but the zombie-like power of
his gets him back in your opponents hair just when he thought it was all
over...

That sums it up, and now Kadabra with the Archtypes

Kadabra: <There will only be 5 listed in this section, and these will be the
actual Pokemon, not the decks themselves. Disclaimer: Haymaker will not be
listed, as it got the entire first section.

1. Wigglytuff
This one doesnt need explaining. Foundation of Tuffstuff

2. Blastoise
Raindance has gone down in popularaty in most areas, but where my trainer
and I live, Blastoise and his faithful sidekick Articuno have rained
destruction all over. This is owing to the fact that few play Haymaker and
none play Tuffstuff. Most older kids, including my trainer, play Psychic
decks similar to the one in the Pojo's Puzzler in the September 2000 isue of
Pojo's magazine, and most little kids play eiter rainbow decks or Charizard
decks

3. TIE Moltres/Alakazam
I tied these because they are similar in being the backbone of the two most
efficent stall decks, Damage Swap and Moltres Stall. Moltres can burn
through decks and Alakazam, comboed with Chansey, Syther, and Pokecenter can
stall forever. Also, Alakazam is my would-be evolution, except no one will
trade for me, even temporarily. :-(

4. Dark Muk
Used with ER and SER can make his cheap autopoison attack and Power deadly.

5. TIE Dragonair/Golduck
These guys, comboed with ER and SER, make up Energy Denial.

Well, that sums up the Archtypes. Now, I'll leave the rest to the Master Gym
leader Idiot and go wake up Haunter so we can cause mayhem. See ya around.>
Kev: That sounds promising. Umbreon, go stop them.
(holds up a Pokeball, and a black cat that looks like an Eevee evolution
pops out.)
Umbreon: Umbre Um! Breon! Eon Um Um Umbreon!
Kev: Yeah, I know you have a resistance to Psychic attacks. thats why I
chose you.
Umbreon: Umb reon! (walks off)
Kev: Umbreon is the American name for Burakki, Eevees GS Evil evolution. Now
for the final section.

Neither Haymakers Or Archtypes.
this section holds powerful Pokemon that arent Haymakers or Archtypes. (duh)
I will do the top three in each section.
DISCLAIMER: DONT EMAIL ME BECAUSE I DIDNT INCLUDE SYTHER, BLASTOISE, OR
WIGGLYTUFF. (or other haymakers or archtype pokes) THEY ARE ON THE OTHER
LISTS!!!

Grass

1. Muk
Nice HP, decent attack, tolerable retreat, lousy weakness, and
Blastoise-stomping power. One of the best metagaming pokemon out there.

2. Pinsir
Falls just below the line of a Haymaker pokemon. Expensive attacks, but its
worth it.

3. Beedril
Awesome stage 2. Low HP is a problem, but free retreat, nasty attacks, and
Hitmonchan resistance make up for that. Weakness isn't much of a problem
either. My advice: bring a rigged coin and watch out for Magmar.

Water

1. Gyrados
Do I honestly need to explain this? His only weakness, if any, is Magikarp.
Just use the TR Karp.

2. Articuno
Powerful attacks, nice hp and fight resistance make him a killer in
Raindance and other decks.

3. Misty's Starmie
This guy has all of Lapras's good points, except in a stage 1. and the
PP-ignoring Mistys Staryu can cream Fossil Haunter.

Fighting

1. Areodactyl
Not played much cause of Syther, but still pretty good.

2. Hitmonlee
A heavy hitting Fighting basic. Fell just short of the Hay list.

3. Brocks Golem
Nice stage 2 with tolerable HP and good attacks. Retreat is better than
Fossil too.

Fire

1. Ninetales
80 for 1 discard? thats the best damage-to-discard ratio in the game! Lure
and HP 80 are awesome too. and one retreat is just broken. going thru Vulpix
is worth it.

2. Flareon
A lot like Ninetales, but more energy friendly. Best Flamethrower in the
game, and can use DCE.

3. Arcanine
A whopping 100 HP comes at a price- retreat cost high and attacks are self
destructive. Use switch to pull him out of the line of fire just  as he runs
out of juice.

Electric

1. Dark Raichu
Nasty attack, 70 Hp, and one retreat make this mouse a very nasty pokemon.

2. Dark Magneton
Magnetic lines is good when comboed with Mew, and he breaks the Magneton
tradition of not blowing himself up.

3. Raichu (base)
Agility is dead useful, and Thunder is okay too. HP80 is great.

Psychic

1. Gengar
Dead useful attack and Power. HP, retreat, no weakness, and Fight resistance
are great too.

2. Fossil Haunter
The most annoying pokemon ever. Near impossible to take down and free
retreat, no weakness and fight resistance are good too.

3. Kadabra
No, I am not saying this because I own a Kadabra. Kadabra's Super psy is the
best attack a psy pokemon has, but 60 hp and 3 retreat stink.

Colorless

1. Chansey
Scrunch. Scrunch. Scrunch. Scrunch. Scrunch. Scrunch. Scrunch. Scrunch.
Scrunch. Double Edge. Its easy enough.

2. Dodrio
Nice Poke power, resistance, and retreat. Pretty good in other areas too.

3. Farfetch'd
Hp and weakness tolerable, while attacks and resistance are very good.
Capable of delivering 30 on turn 1, then another 30 on turn 2.

Well, that sums it up. Until next ti..

BOOM!!!!!!!

Umbreon: UM! BRE! ON!
Kadabra: <He He He!>
Haunter: Hau! ter! ter! Haun Haun Haun!
Kev: (moan) I cant even do one card tip without my pokemon bringing the
place apart. The insurance company will NEVER believe me...

Until next time (after I repair my house)

Kev and Kadabra

all comments, fan mail, and free Lily Pad Mews go here
nixon@bytheshore.com

all hate mail, flame mail, questions about how i know Burakki's American
name, and Howlers go here
hatemailreceiver@middleofnowhere.com