The Walrus and the Carpenter ... And you're all oysters.  Not to mention 7 deadly sins.
<br>By Acclaimed Writer and Egocentric Fool Sam Spencer IV
<br>
<br>
<br>Welcome to my article concerning a feud in the DBZ world ...
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<br>In the very very black corner, wearing the very very black trunks, straight from the seventh layer of hell (California), it's Planet Namek, el desperado supremeo.
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<br>In the green corner, wearing the double XL trunks (fused, of course), straight from the Bible Belt in North Carolina, it's Gotenks Archives, el jealouso burro!
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<br>Let's get ready to rrrrrrrrrrrrumble!
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<br>This is a fight that has been going on for a long time, where Gotenks Archives hates PN because they "are mean".&nbsp;&nbsp;PN and MrE have no idea what Chibi Maverick, GA's owner, is smoking, but GA continues to hate Namek.
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<br>Anyway, I'm going to play devil's advocate here and judge the competition based on which site is the bigger sinner.&nbsp;&nbsp;I'll use the seven deadly sins, and whichever site scores four or more wins!
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<br>First sin: Pride 
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<br>"excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity."
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<br>Well, Gotenks Archives recently stated that they can't beat Namek, while Namek does every little thing to show you that they are the #1 DBZ site on the net, when they really are #3.
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<br>Winner: Namek 
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<br>Second Sin: Envy 
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<br>"the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation."
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<br>Well, GA seems to hate Namek with a vengeance, just because they're better.  A decisive victory here
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<br>Winner: Gotenks
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<br>Third Sin: Gluttony
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<br>"an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires." 
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<br>A close one.&nbsp;&nbsp;GA sucks up content and webmasters like John Goodman at Shoney's all-you-can-eat bar, but Namek is lying to its visitors and deceiving them, like the snake to your Eve.&nbsp;&nbsp;To explain the new donation situation …
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<br>"The Walrus and the Carpenter"
<br>A Poem by Lewis Carroll:
<br>
<br>The sun was shining on the sea,
<br>Shining with all his might;
<br>He did his very best to make
<br>The billows smooth and bright-
<br>And this was odd, because it was
<br>The middle of the night. 
<br>
<br>The moon was shining sulkily,
<br>Because she thought the sun
<br>Had got no business to be there
<br>After the day was done-
<br>`It's very rude of him,'she said
<br>`To come and spoil the fun!' 
<br>
<br>The sea was wet as wet could be,
<br>The sands were dry as dry.
<br>You could not see a cloud because
<br>No cloud was in the sky:
<br>No birds were flying overhead-
<br>There were no birds to fly. 
<br>
<br>The Walrus and the Carpenter
<br>Were walking close at hand;
<br>They wept like anything to see
<br>Such quantities of sand:
<br>`If this were only cleared away,'
<br>They said, `It would be grand!' 
<br>
<br>`If seven maids with seven mops
<br>Swept it for half a year,
<br>Do you suppose,' the Walrus said,
<br>`That they could get it clear?'
<br>`I doubt it,' said the Carpenter,
<br>And shed a bitter tear. 
<br>
<br>`O Oysters, come and walk with us!'
<br>The Walrus did beseech.
<br>`A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
<br>Along the briny beach:
<br>We cannot do with more than four,
<br>To give a hand to each.' 
<br>
<br>The eldest Oyster looked at him,
<br>But never a word he said:
<br>The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
<br>And shook his heavy head-
<br>Meaning to say he did not choose
<br>To leave the oyster-bed. 
<br>
<br>But four young Oysters hurried up,
<br>All eager for the treat:
<br>Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
<br>Their shoes were clean and neat-
<br>And this was odd, because, you know,
<br>They hadn't any feet.
<br> 
<br>Four other Oysters followed them,
<br>And yet another four;
<br>And thick and fast they came at last,
<br>And more, and more, and more-
<br>All hopping through the frothy waves,
<br>And scrambling to the shore. 
<br>
<br>The Walrus and the Carpenter
<br>Walked on a mile or so,
<br>And then they rested on a rock
<br>Conveniently low:
<br>And all the little Oysters stood
<br>And waited in a row. 
<br>
<br>`The time has come,' the Walrus said,
<br>`To talk of may things:
<br>Of shoes- and ships- and sealing-wax-
<br>Of cabbages- and kings-
<br>And why the sea is boiling hot-
<br>And whether pigs have wings.' 
<br>
<br>`But wait a bit,' the Oysters cried,
<br>`Before we have our chat;
<br>For some of us are out of breath,
<br>And all of us are fat!'
<br>`No hurry!' said the Carpenter.
<br>They thanked him much for that. 
<br>
<br>`A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said,
<br>`Is what we chiefly need:
<br>Pepper and vinegar besides
<br>Are very good indeed-
<br>Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
<br>We can begin to feed.' 
<br>
<br>`But not on us!' the Oysters cried,
<br>Turning a little blue.
<br>`After such kindness, that would be
<br>A dismal thing to do!'
<br>`The night is fine,' the Walrus said.
<br>`Do you admire the view? 
<br>
<br>`It was so kind of you to come!
<br>And you are very nice!'
<br>The Carpenter said nothing, but
<br>`Cut us another slice:
<br>I wish you were not quite so deaf-
<br>I've had to ask you twice!' 
<br>
<br>`It seems a shame,' the Walrus said,
<br>`To play them such a trick
<br>After we've brought them out so far,
<br>And made them trot so quick!'
<br>The Carpenter said nothing but
<br>`The butter's spread too thick!' 
<br>
<br>`I weep for you,' the Walrus said:
<br>`I deeply sympathize.'
<br>With sobs and tears he sorted out
<br>Those of the largest size
<br>Holding his pocket-handkerchief
<br>Before his streaming eyes. 
<br>
<br>`O Oysters,' said the Carpenter
<br>`You've had a pleasant run!
<br>Shall we be trotting home again?'
<br>But answer came there none-
<br>And this was scarcely odd, because
<br>They'd eaten every one.
<br>
<br>
<br>Sorry about the excruciatingly long opening, but I have to ask you girls and guys a question: doesn't this poem sound familiar?&nbsp;&nbsp;Sure, the poem is meant to be a commentary on religion, but I think it applies to the present: Namek is duping you guys in to following them, and now they are eating you.
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<br>At least your wallets, that is.&nbsp;&nbsp;Now we have to PAY to keep one of the best DBZ sites on the web (I give credit where credit is due, even in a self-esteem crushing political commentary) alive.&nbsp;&nbsp;Is this not insane?&nbsp;&nbsp;I could imagine them trying to get help with some expenses, like hosting and transfer, but now they want you to pay for their DVD's?
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<br>Here's the major quote, ripped apart Sean Kendle style:
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<br>"Wednesday - 02/21/2001 
<br>
<br>Mr.E @ 23:48 pst - The Honor System...
<br>Planet Namek has been leap-frogging from advertiser to advertiser in its 2 and a half year history. As most of you know already, the internet advertising market has become a proverbial crap-factory. Anyone who is willing to take us in probably has no money to give, and if they are *lucky* enough to get an advertiser to pay them, most of that goes into their overhead rather than the coffers of the sites that produce the actual content."
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<br>All very true.&nbsp;&nbsp;You would think they get more from selling products, though ...
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<br>"I'm going to be completely blunt: Including bandwidth, server, and our site supplies (equipment, DVDs, etc), Planet Namek costs around 3000 dollars a month."
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<br>OK, this really disturbs me.&nbsp;&nbsp;First, they want you to pay for their DVD's when they already have fansubs.&nbsp;&nbsp;They want $20 from you guys just so they can write two pages on how Steve Simmons did such good translations on this disc (which is always true), how the Japanese version looks so cool, etc.&nbsp;&nbsp;Why on earth do you want to pay for their DVDs when you can go to Daizenshuu EX and get free reviews?
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<br>" That sounds like a lot...and quite frankly, it is. Our merchandise section has been drastically expanded over these past few weeks to compensate for the lack of income that was once provided by GameFan and similar establishments. Yes, we get a cut of those sales, and I would like all you guys to use our mechandise sections when you want to buy Dragonball stuff (Skull is putting the finishing touches on a few items that we don't have yet). Unfortunately, it's not quite enough to cover our costs."
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<br>That is a lot, and I am quite concerned about the validity of that statement.&nbsp;&nbsp;But I'll play nice guy, and assume they are telling the truth.&nbsp;&nbsp;Even if it costs you that much, Namek, people make DBZ websites for three things:
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<br>1) Fun, the best reason
<br>2) Glory or Prestige
<br>3) Money
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<br>If you aren't having fun, if you don't like the glory, and if you aren't making money ... GET OFF MY INTERNET!&nbsp;&nbsp;If you combine Pojo, EX, (shameless plugs) www.dbcollection.com and its subdomain, www.dbcollection.com/generaltso/, and Greg's site, you guys are beat, times two.&nbsp;&nbsp;Beat for free.&nbsp;&nbsp;It's not like it's hard to type in a new URL, and that's what I encourage you guys to do … just pass over Namek.&nbsp;&nbsp;If they can't take the heat, just remember that blazing fire begets cold, impotent ash.
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<br>"This is where the honor system comes in. Basically, to pay our expenses (server costs, DVDs, etc), a fraction of our visitors give us a little bit of cash each month." 
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<br>Stupid, stupid, stupid.&nbsp;&nbsp;Please do not fall for this ploy.&nbsp;&nbsp;Namek doesn't do anything special, and they help keep you under FUNimation's veil of ignorance.&nbsp;&nbsp;DO NOT give them money.
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<br>"Using Amazon.com's program, 15% of all donations made go to them, plus another 15 cents for overhead. This is better than the 50/50 programs of most advertisers."
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<br>Why don't you just get us to mail checks to you?
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<br>"The key in this: We get around 30,000 hits per day, most of which are regular visitors. If just 10% of these people donate a single dollar per month (or more if you prefer), we can stay up with no intrusive banner ads, and no loss of content. This comes to about 10 cents per person if everyone made a monthly donation (though that's obviously not going to happen). Think of it as a cheap, non-mandatory subscription to our site. ^_^"
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<br>See the happy animé laugh at the end of that paragraph?&nbsp;&nbsp;That's MrE, laughing all the way to the bank.&nbsp;&nbsp;Since, as he states, over 90% will not donate, why should those who pay get the burden?&nbsp;&nbsp;Also, reality check, less than 1% of their visitors will donate.
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<br>"This is a huge favor to ask of our visitors, and I give out a heart-felt, mamo-sized thanks to anyone who gives us a donation. Planet Namek has a lot of cool stuff planned for the future; and I prefer that money problems do not get in the way of our goals."
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<br>Well, at least the miser "loves" you guys.
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<br>"And we are not alone: Penny Arcade, FARK.com, and several others are now using this service. I do realize that a good portion of you don't have credit cards, but this is the easiet way to make a donation for those who do. There's no crime in asking to use your parents' card, especially for such a noble cause... ^_^ Help us poor high school students get through some tough times. You can make your donation right here or by clicking the banner at the bottom of the index page. Thanks in advance, everyone!"
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<br>Yes, Planet Namek: funded in part by idiots like you.&nbsp;&nbsp;It's not funny that they are taking advantage of people, like little Timmy who asks his dad if he can borrow the credit card to donate a buck to "charity".
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<br>I'm sorry, but everyone, take heed: stop donating these sinners money!
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<br>Winner: Namek (who leads GA 2-1)
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<br>Fourth Sin: Lust
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<br>"an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body"
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<br>I have no idea when it comes to Namek, but the inside joke we used to have when I worked at GA was that Gotenks had a picture of Meri that he treasured.&nbsp;&nbsp;I'll assume he still treasures it.
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<br>Winner: Gotenks (tied at 2-2)
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<br>Fifth Sin: Anger
<br>
<br>"manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath."
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<br>To show you how mad Chibi Mav. Can get when people support Namek ...
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<br>SilvanosDBZ: well maybe the fact is your so pathetic and you want to be like mr.e so much it's turned into a hatred huh? I don't think PN is such bad people, you are a freakin psycho!
<br>Chibi Maverick: turning...to the dark side? thats a new low..
<br>Chibi Maverick: i work my ass off for years for this
<br>Chibi Maverick: "I don't think PN is such bad people, you are a freakin psycho!"
<br>Chibi Maverick: i no longer have any respect for u
<br>Chibi Maverick: after hearing that one line
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<br>Yep, his former webmaster, gone because he doesn't hate Namek
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<br>Winner: Gotenks (leads 3-2)
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<br>Sixth Sin: Covetousness
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<br>"the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Greed."
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<br>I think my long diatribe on Namek's practices above proves my point.
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<br>Winner: Namek (tied 3-3)
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<br>The Final Sin of the Seven: Sloth
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<br>"the avoidance of physical or spiritual work."
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<br>I quote a recent IM conversation:
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<br>SSJ4 Sam:	 Why did you quit GA? 
<br>SilvanosDBZ:	 Because Chibi Maverick thought it would be fun to play Diablo 2 all day, do no work on the site, and act like a jerk when we didn't feel like trying to work the whole damn thing
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<br>PN does update ... a lot.&nbsp;&nbsp;The decision is final, PN is down for the count!
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<br>Winner: Gotenks (wins 4-3)
<br>____________________________________________
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<br>FINAL RESULTS:
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<br>Gotenks Archives: Envy, Lust, Anger, Sloth
<br>Planet Namek: Pride, Gluttony, Covetousness
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<br>Well, I'm glad to have been able to kill two birds with one stone.&nbsp;&nbsp;I settled the GA/PN feud, and showed how stupid Namek's "donations" are.&nbsp;&nbsp;Don't give into hate, and don't get conned out of your cash.
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<br>Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate ... leads to suffering.&nbsp;&nbsp;
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<br>Take care of yourselves, and each other.
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