Jumbo Cactuar – Universes Beyond: Final Fantasy
Date Reviewed: March 7, 2025
Ratings:
Constructed: 3.13
Casual: 5
Limited: 4
Multiplayer: 3.5
Commander [EDH]: 3.75
Ratings are based on a 1 to 5 scale. 1 is bad. 3 is average. 5 is great.
Reviews Below:
The Final Fantasy set isn’t out for a while, but I had to sneak one in this week, because those games are my thing. One of my serious things, in fact. I have memories of trying to figure out how to beat Cactuars – and often failing – from several different entries in the series, and it’s interesting to me how this particular version has something that gets Magic fans thinking and not just Final Fantasy aficionados. Overkill or win-more? Maybe, but he’s not really the worst thing you could be getting into play at any point of the game. He obviously benefits from all of green’s creature-related strengths, not least things like Chord of Calling, but it’s worth noting that his base power is one. That means that Goblin Tunneler can make him unblockable, which is a hilarious mental image. It also means that now that Faithless Looting is unbanned, Vesperlark can reanimate him in Modern on turn 2. I doubt that’s the most powerful thing you can do in that format, but it is, once again, hilarious.
I think this is a card that was intended more for casual play than for tournaments: 10,000 power is not relevant in the competitive side of Magic where it’s not functionally different than Blightsteel Colossus, and the risk-reward calculation of coming to a high-level tournament and trying to use an expensive creature that only attacks is less favorable than at the kitchen table. But if you’re looking for a card that makes people go “wow!” in a fun way, this guy is for you.
Constructed: 3
Casual: 5
Limited: 4
Multiplayer: 3.5 (two words: Chandra’s Ignition)
Commander [EDH]: 3.5
This review is for a card releasing in June, so take this with a large amount of speculation.
it’s so…big
Final Fantasy is one of the two “kings” of the JRPG genre, and it makes for a potentially fertile crossover into Magic with 16 main games, countless spinoffs, and a deep roster of iconic creatures and tropes. Cactuars are one of the iconic enemies, a nimble cactus that dislikes being hit, likes being prickly, and gives pretty good rewards for beating one up. Their signature attack is “1000 Needles”, which does exactly 1000 damage to whatever it hits (in games where player HP usually caps at 9999). However, not all cactuars are the same, and sometimes you get a Cactuoar of Unusual Size, the Jumbo Cactuar. Fittingly, its signature attack is “10000 Needles”, which…does what it says on the tin.
Speaking of which, Jumbo Cactuar is this especially prickly fellow, and that attack trigger is certainly eye-popping 10000 power is high enough to…one-shot an entire table multiple times over, but the caveat here is that Jumbo Cactuar needs a bit of help to get it going. It’s a seven-mana body that needs to attack, and it lacks any ketwords (thank the heavens), so you need to support this to give it the chance to turn an opponent into a pincushion.
The question will always be…how easily can you support it? Green is the color best suited for ramp and for creatures, and it does have access to trample enablers and small drops of haste. There’s also plenty of things like Fling effects and other absurd shenanigans you can pull…but without protection besides a decently bulky 7 toughness, felling the Jumbo Cactuar may be easier than it seems.
Make no mistake: this card will get played, and it can win games, but I question how effective it ultimately will be.
Constructed: 3.25 (I think it’s too slow to compete in higher-powered formats, and it really needs support in Standard)
Casual: 5
Limited: 4 (call this the most questionable score here, because we know very little about what all is in the set)
Multiplayer: 3.5
Commander [EDH]: 4
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