Meathook Massacre II – Duskmourn
Date Reviewed: September 30, 2024
Ratings:
Constructed:
Casual:
Limited:
Multiplayer:
Commander [EDH]:
Ratings are based on a 1 to 5 scale. 1 is bad. 3 is average. 5 is great.
Reviews Below:
Much like any good sequel, Meathook Massacre II raises both the stakes and the scope of its idea. Not only can you kill a bunch of creatures, you can also steal them – it’ll take some getting used to, and some practice to think in those terms. It makes a non-trivial decision tree for both players, and the results are going to be variable, so I wouldn’t recommend relying too much just on this one card. Additionally, like some movie sequels, it had a massive cost blowout (ie. the huge number of very specific mana symbols you need to cast it), which prevents it from being entirely better than the older card it references, or indeed any mass removal spell. But it’s still an interesting one to have around.
I also think it’s kind of amusing that we essentially have the entire action of a horror movie condensed into one card – maybe there’s a joke to be made there about wordiness?
Constructed: 3
Casual: 5
Limited: 4
Multiplayer: 4
Commander [EDH]: 4
The leaning-in to contemporary horror themes in Duskmourn includes an Obligatory Sequel to a past hit, and so we get Meathook Massacre II (alternatively titled “2 Meat 2 Hook”, I guess). Hilariously, the mana cost is exactly double the cost of the original performance, but it’s not quite just “two Meathook Massacres stapled together”.
An effect like Meathook Massacre II is a potentially vivious one, ensuring you can get a second swing from each of your creatures. Of course, the other side is stealing an opponent’s creatures if they don’t pay up, and while the choice isn’t yours, three life can add up, especially if you kill a lot of creatures at once. If you have the mana to spare, you can force that yourself as this comes in.
As powerful as Meathook Massacre II is, it is an expensive card with a heavy color requirement; four black mana is a lot to ask, even if black is good at putting out more black mana. I feel like the strength of this card depends on your ability to get the black mana reliably, and while I do think it will see some Standard play, I can’t shake the feeling that it’s going to usually be a hurdle too high to get over.
Constructed: 3.75
Casual: 5
Limited: 4
Multiplayer: 4.5
Commander [EDH]: 4.5
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