MonsterOfTheLake's Lake

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03-17-2009

Saga of Sets -- Secret Wonders 

Hello, how do you do? So after a long, long wait, here's the next installment of the world-famous slightly-renown Saga of Sets™. Secret Wonders was released in late 2007, pre-Cities in the HP-On season. While everyone was busy playing Blissey and Lucario, Secret Wonders would give us the two cards that would go on to dominate the format: Gardevoir and Gallade. Evolving from the same line, and complementing each other with denial and power, Gardelade was one of the strongest archetypes the game had ever seen. In addition was Absol, a card that went from being feared to obsolete in roughly two months, thanks to the release of the game-changing Claydol in Great Encounters. Other oft-played cards from the set were Magmortar, Ho-Oh, Gardevoir Lv.X, Professor Oak's Visit, Bebe's Search, Roseanne's Research, and Honchkrow Lv.X (for roughly 5 seconds). The set also featured a Charizard, and who doesn't like Charizard, other than Satoshi's Blastoise? There were 132 cards in Secret Wonders, making this article as painful to write as getting a papercut. Or seven.

Saga of Sets RaNd0m MonsterOfTheLake BS B2 RS DS DP JU N4 SS LM MT FO LC DR HP SW TR EX MA CG GE G1 AQ HL DF MD G2 SK RG PK LA N1   RR   SF N2   DX     N3   EM         UF     Secret Wonders

What a crappy set symbol

Let's do this, then. *takes deep breath*


1/132 – Ampharos – Jamming seemed nice, and people thought it could work. Suffice to say, it didn't.

2/132 – Blastoise – Interesting card. Waterlog seems amazing at first, but then you look down and see the attack. 5 Energy for 90? Please. I especially like the "[y]ou can't add more than 40 damage in this way" part. Because obviously if it could do 110 for 6 Energy, it would be broken.

3/132 – Charizard – It's everyone's favorite Pokémon Charizard, and he does not disappoint. Plenty of damage, and plenty of discards, as usual. Better rig that coin.

4/132 – Entei – Burning Coat is fun, but the prospect of you knocking something out with this card is pretty bleak.

5/132 – Flygon – Irritating Buzz is not irritating. And the attack is just downright bad. 2F for 60 won't get you anywhere.

6/132 – Gallade – This card's pretty bad.

7/132 – Gardevoir – So is this card. I don't know why anyone would play this.

8/132 – Gastrodon East Sea – I was not familiar with this East/West Sea concept. Nor did I know what a Gastrodon was. It's a sea slug, apparently. The card has a nifty Power in Osmotic Pressure. Throw in 4 SSUs, and you got yourself a new-age Damage Swap!

9/132 – Gastrodon West Sea – It has a cute little combo with its East Sea counterpart. You could certainly make a fun League deck with these two.

10/132 – Ho-Oh – Skittles' main attacker. Phoenix Turn is annoying. You Togekiss 7 Energies onto Ho-Oh, and rig that coin, and then your opponent resigns.

11/132 – Jumpluff – It's a cotton ball! Fluffy little Jumpluff has a cool Body, and a bad attack. A Stage 2 with 90 HP just isn't right in this day and age.

12/132 – Lickilicky – I can not comprehend why anyone would think creating an evolution to Lickitung would be a good idea. Or why they would kill trees to print this thing. Why on earth is this card a RH? Why was this card even printed?

13/132 – Ludicolo – I will just say that I LOVE the flavor text on this card. That is all.

14/132 – Lugia – Here's Rugia Lugia, and he's disrupting Energy now, apparently. Keep 'em in the binder until they reprint ER/SER.

15/132 – Mew – Psychic Balance is useful. Re-creation is alright. But it has 60 HP, and will not remain in play more than a turn if you dare put it active.

16/132 – Raikou – Thunder Rumble converts Lightning Energy into a Crobat G, and Thunder Climb could do nicely with the new Delcatty PT. Assuming you could get 3 Energies onto an 80 HP Basic without it getting knocked out over 9000 times.

17/132 – Roserade – Sleep Poison is cheap and effective. Which is good, because the rest of the card is pretty bad.

18/132 – Salamence – It's bad. Expensive and bad.

19/132 – Suicune – Eh, it's a Water type Night Maintenance. Not very good.

20/132 – Venusaur – Miracle Aroma is cool, but the card is just not playable.

21/132 – Absol – Oh man, people HATED this card. Baleful Wind not only got rid of your Trainers (I'm using the Wizards definition here), it discarded them instead of shuffling them back in. This type of disruption was never before seen in the game. Then came Claydol, and everything went back to normal.

22/132 – Arcanine – It's the legendary Pokémon that's NOT a legendary Pokémon. RK9 comes out of nowhere and hits for 120, damaging itself in the process. You'd consider throwing a 1/1 line in something like Magmortar, but then it'd have 60 HP left, and you'd lose 4 Energies along the way when it got knocked out.

23/132 – Banette – Gardelade's supposed doom, until people realized they could just bring up a Dusknoir.

24/132 – Dugtrio – A very flippy card. If you have a rigged coin, you have an immune Dugtrio.

25/132 – Electivire – Great power. Horrible attack.

26/132 – Electrode – Electrodes tend to have self-destructive tendencies, which really makes you wonder why they don't visit a psychiatrist every once in a while. This Electrode is no different. It blows itself up to do average damage, and attaches itself to one of your Pokémon. It does one shot Kingdras, though.

27/132 – Furret – This card is bad, and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.

28/132 – Golduck – Encore is fun, until you realize they can just retreat.

29/132 – Golem – Golems tend to be bad, and this card is no exception. 1FFF for 80, what a deal!

30/132 – Jynx – A creepy card, and not the least because both its attacks involve kissing.

31/132 – Magmortar – Quite a good card. Flame Body is really good. The attacks are handy. Really nice card.

32/132 – Minun – It's bad.

33/132 – Mothim – Silver Wind is a fun concept, until you realize it will never survive to actually attack the Pokémon it used Silver Wind against.

34/132 – Nidoking – Poison Rub is fantastic. Where's your Claydol now? Alas, its Psychic weakness ruined it.

35/132 – Pidgeot – Nice card art. Bad card.

36/132 – Plusle – Bad, pointless Pikachu clone #1895318532.

37/132 – Sharpedo – Psychic resistance and free retreat are good. But why doesn't a shark Pokémon just bite other Pokémon in half? This game is SO unrealistic.

38/132 – Sunflora – It counters Prinplup! And potentially hits for 90 with just GG. If you're particularly good at flipping heads.

39/132 – Unown S – Let's look over this card for a second: It's a rare, it requires two other Unowns on your bench to use its pointless tailsfails Power, and and does 10 damage for a Colorless. I simply can not understand the line of thinking that led to the creation of this card. It must have involved copious amounts of opium, to say the least.

40/132 – Weavile – Fun, fun card. Type conversion is really cool. Weavile's like, "hey Active, come join the DARK SIDE." And the Active's like, "OK =/"

41/132 – Wormadam Plant Cloak – It has really nice card art. And Plant Cloak is a nifty Body. But Leaf Hurricane is bad.

42/132 – Wormadam Sandy Cloak – Like Toxicroak G, this card also has the "Unown G Body." Unlike Toxicroak G, its attack is horribad.

43/132 – Wormadam Trash Cloak – Oh man, you get a Tool card and 4 Metals attached to this thing, and it doesn't get hit by ANYHING.

44/132 – Xatu – Xatus are awesome. The card is mediocre, but because it's Xatu, it's automatically awesome.

45/132 – Breloom – Homing Uppercut is broken. And hey, it won Nats.

46/132 – Charmeleon – Fire Fang is awesome, but why does the card feature Charmeleon in a glamour shot?

47/132 – Cloyster – This card LOVES flipping coins.

48/132 – Donphan – Bash In hits anything with a Tool attached for 130. Nifty.

49/132 – Farfetch'd – Farfetch'd, like Xatu, is awesome. 30 for 1? Possibly 60? It destroys Garchomp.

50/132 – Flaaffy – Attract Current is a good "Plasma" attack, plus you get to attach it to anyone, instead of just TR's Zapdos Flaaffy. But the card art is just too happy for me. And pink sheep are just weird.

51/132 – Ivysaur – Bad. Really bad.

52/132 – Kecleon – Camouflage is a really cool Body. Blind Scratch has to be one of the dumbest attacks ever printed, though.

53/132 – Kirlia – Another bad card. Why would anyone play this?

54/132 – Lombre – It's inferior to Rare Candy.

55/132 – Miltank – Miltanks, like Xatus and Farfetch'ds, are awesome, and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.

56/132 – Muk – Toxic Sludge was a nice counter to all the DRE/Scramble played. But the Psychic weakness and weak attack makes for a bad card.

57/132 – Nidorino – Rare Candy. Inferior.

58/132 – Pidgeotto – Not bad! Fighting resistance, and free retreat. Useful Stage 1 for a pointless Stage 2.

59/132 – Pinsir – Pinsir will destroy you. Just look at the attacks: Grip and Squeeze? Power Guillotine?! It's going to cut you in half if you even look at it funny.

60/132 – Quagsire – It's like a really bad Kingdra.

61/132 – Raticate – Raticates are pretty cool. Gnaw Off is flippy. Sneaky Attack is cheap. Not really playable.

62/132 – Roselia – Below-average Basic. 70 HP is nice, but I'm pretty sure Magikarp has better attacks than this card.

63/132 – Sableye – Look at the card! Sableye's on an acid trip! Rummage is a nifty attack.

64/132 – Shelgon – There sure are a lot of Colorless symbols on this card.

65/132 – Skiploom – It's just dumb. Low HP, and a Body that lowers damage done to it. And then they get a Dialga G Lv.X in play, and Deafen you to death, and then you cry and quit Pokémon.

66/132 – Smeargle – It's the hipster Pokémon! Color Pick is useful in something like, Raindance? And.. Shaymin. Yeah.

67/132 – Smoochum – Bad.

68/132 – Unown K – Horribad.

69/132 – Unown N – NOD is just.. weird. You both take a Prize card. Or you get to draw a card. Why not just play 3x Poké Drawer or something instead?

70/132 – Unown O – Unown O's ONE power has never been used. There has never been a game where someone actually got to use this Power. No, I don't care if you heard that some 6 year old kid actually used this Power in a City Championship final somewhere in Europe, they LIED. This Power has never, EVER been used in a game of Pokémon.

71/132 – Unown X – Unown X's X-Ray power has been used before. Just once, though. It has not occurred since.

72/132 – Unown Z – Unown Z's Zero power has never been used in the history of Pokémon.

73/132 – Venomoth – Quite useful in No Rares.

74/132 – Vibrava – Sand Wind is alright. Average Stage 1.

75/132 – Wartortle – Average.

76/132 – Bagon – I like this card. Sure, it's bad, but the little guy looks SO ready for battle. He can make it on his own!

77/132 – Bulbasaur – Eh.. mediocre.

78/132 – Burmy Plant Cloak – Wear Cloak is handy. But I don't think Pokémon wearing Cloaks is realistic. This isn't the Harry Potter TCG, buddy.

79/132 – Burmy Sandy Cloak – This is the exact same card, except Wear Cloak gets a Fighting from discard instead of Grass.

80/132 – Burmy Trash Cloak – Same card, except Wear Cloak gets a Metal from discard instead of Fighting.

81/132 – Carvanha – Carvanha looks badass. He's part piranha, part Chuck Norris, all awesome.

82/132 – Charmander – It's OK, but could be better.

83/132 – Clefairy – One of those mythical Item-holding Pokémon, Clefairy can evolve the turn you play it. Because it holds the item Moon Stone. Which evolves Clefairies into Clefables. Yeah.

84/132 – Corsola – Magmortar decks had to use this before Great Encounters gave us Pachirisu. Which meant that they had to play the horrible Psychic type Cyndaquil d.

85/132 – Diglett – Lovely card. Nice art, nice attacks, a Weakness, Resistance, and a Retreat Cost. It has EVERYTHING.

86/132 – Duskull – Mythical Item-holding Pokémon #2. Reaper Cloth lets it evolve the turn you play it. Astonish is fun.

87/132 – Electabuzz – Bad. And why is Electabuzz out in the snow anyway?

88/132 – Grimer – Average. 2 Retreat kills it.

89/132 – Growlithe – Roar is fun.

90/132 – Hoppip – Bad. What card has 30 HP these days anyway?

91/132 – Lickitung – Horribad.

92/132 – Lotad – I love the art on this card. Average playwise.

93/132 – Magmar – The BAD Magmar.

94/132 – Mareep – Good Basic, with a useful -20 Metal Resistance.

95/132 – Murkrow – Mythical Item-holding Pokémon #3. Dusk Stone lets it evolve the turn you play it.

96/132 – Natu – Bothering Wave is an amazing attack, if you flip heads. Future Sight isn't bad either.

97/132 – Nidoran (M) – Good card.

98/132 – Phanpy – I sincerely doubt it could carry an adult human on its back. The flavor text LIES.

99/132 – Pidgey – Bad.

100/132 – Psyduck – This card is just awesome. Not because it's particularly good, but it's an amazing "theme" card.

101/132 – Qwilfish – Bad, even if you are good at flipping heads.

102/132 – Ralts – Horrible. Why would anyone play this?

103/132 – Rattata – So apparently, Rattata does.

104/132 – Sentret – Grope is one of the best attack names ever.

105/132 – Shellder – Bad.

106/132 – Shellos East Sea – Useful. CFF attack is handy.

107/132 – Shellos West Sea – Recover could be a nice combo with Memory Berry. If only the Gastrodon had more HP.

108/132 – Shroomish – Distinctly average.

109/132 – Shuckle – It's Shuckle! And Shuckle > Weedle. Ferment Poison is the only way to stop Bodies in the current format, other than Dialga G Lv.X.

110/132 – Shuppet – The BAD Shuppet.

111/132 – Spinda – Doesn't this thing have an evolution? Apparently not.

112/132 – Squirtle – Really nice art, but a bad card overall.

113/132 – Stantler – It's a moose! Was quite popular for a while last season.

114/132 – Sunkern – Sunkern is pretty cool. Eh evolves itself and doesn't afraid of anything.

115/132 – Trapinch – REALLY good Basic. Very useful attacks.

116/132 – Venonat – Flippy.

117/132 – Voltorb – Very nice card. Cool art, fast attacks, and blows itself up, what more do you want?

118/132 – Wooper – Pointless.

119/132 – Bebe's Search – Reprint of an amazing Supporter card that people overlooked in favor of Celio's Network. Ness ran it with Celio's Network. And that's why he won Worlds.

120/132 – Night Maintenance – Another MT reprint. Very useful.

121/132 – PlusPower – Reprint from DP, which in turn was a reprint from the Base Set!

122/132 – Professor Oak's Visit – Finally something new! A neutral drawing card that people used in decks like Feraligatr.

123/132 – Professor Rowan – Bad.

124/132 – Rival – Really bad.

125/132 – Roseanne's Research – A broken card. There's a reason every single deck runs 4 of this, and it's not because they have the hots for Roseanne. I don't dig chicks with green hair anyway.

126/132 – Team Galactic's Mars – Disruption card that really didn't amount to anything. Drawing just 2 cards so you can annoy your opponent is not worth it.

127/132 – Potion – Broken. If you're not running 4 in every deck, your excuse better be "I don't have that many."

128/132 – Switch – Nifty. Reprint from D&P, and all the way back from Base Set.

129/132 – Darkness Energy – Awesome card. A 'must' in every Darkness deck =/

130/132 – Metal Energy – Worse than Base Gastly. The worst card ever printed.

131/132 – Gardevoir LV.X – Quite bad. I can not fathom the reasons as to why people played this card.

132/132 – Honchkrow LV.X – Popular for a brief period that lasted approximately 20 seconds.

 

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There you go, then. Happy Wednesday!


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