Greetings, Earthlings.

    This is MagiKazoc here, with my... uh... (tries to count on fingers but runs out of fingers)... umpteenth article here on Pojo.com!! Everyone who's anyone who's met someone whose sibling's best friend is going out with someone who won a tourney knows that it takes a lot to win. Quite a bit, in fact. 10 commandments, carved in stone untold millenia ago, back when the pyramids were still young, and the Egyptian pharaohs, yata, yata, yata (the Garasu kind). If you want to get tacky, a guy named Pegasus gave these to me. If you don't, I made them up. They work, though. The first 5 are for building your deck, and the last 5 are for playing. Follow these, young duelist (or old duelist, I'm not especially politically correct). Pojo guys, this may not qualify as a top 10 list (or CCG tip, depending on who's reading), so feel free to rename the title to your liking, so long as it still has the word MagiKazoc and the ! in it. Thanx!

1: Thou shalt buyeth cards. Theoretically, you could win a tournament without getting too many cards, but it rarely works. Ha ha. No rich kid rants, please. You need a good deck to win, and you need good cards to make a good deck. If you win at Yu-Gi-Oh!, it's 85% deck, 10% skill, and 7% opponent's bad luck.* (Side Point: If you buy just the cards you need, you'll spend less than if you buy packs and trade. Half the fun gone, but your deck and wallet will thank you). As for you Magical Scientist and Metamorphosis dudes, stock your fusion deck with multiples of ALL fusions so you'll have them when you need them.

2: Thou shalt use staples. Not the metal ones, schtoopid. Mirror Force, Pot, Reborn, etc. Just use them. Make room for them. I'm talking about Spell/Traps here, by the way. Choose your own creatures (except for Jinzo and Vampire Lord, maybe Breaker). If you are building a deck, staples first.

3: Thou shalt keep thy eyes on the prize. Don't go easy on anyone because of the cards they play, age, size, etc. I myself have had a close scrape with a 7-year-old who just came up to my waist and a 16-year-old who attacked with a UFO turtle. Play ruthlessly, gloat mercilessly (But not too much - more on that later).

4: Thou shalt learn to trade. If someone has a Breaker the Magical Warrior, which you want, and they want your Magic Cylinder, Injection Fairy Lily, and Jinzo (all powerful Secret Rares), TRADE! Put it this way: Magic Cylinder and Jinzo are available in Promo form (and they're still shinylicious, too), and you shouldn't use Injection. Trade! If you can get cards you need, be prepared to trade anything for them. Keep it reasonable, and try to get trades done ASAP, or they may have second thoughts. Card value is not of importance when trading. Most importantly, never look back. Don't go back on or regret deals, especially if you're getting the better deal. If you agree, and they agree, it's fair. And never interfere with a trade, unless it's positive advice to move the trade faster.

5: Thou shalt keep thy eyes peeled. No, you doofus, not literally. Stay in touch with the gaming world. Try getting spoilers for sets before the actual sets come out. I managed to unload some excess Jinzos because I heard of the upcoming tins. More importantly, read articles (like mine!), visit websites, and talk with other duelists to find out the latest combos and hot cards.

6: Thou shalt not concede. I'm gonna go Buzz Lightyear on you: Never give up! Never surrender! Even if your opponent is pwning you with Yata and you have no cards in hand, make them take the rest of their turns. They may forget to replay Yata, and at the very least you'll run out of time at the next duel so you can win by LPs. And if someone offers you packs to concede, tell him to just give you the packs or you'll tell the judge he's bribing. Mwahahahaha! (strokes goatee)

7: Thou shalt thinketh in advance. Is thinketh even a word? *Puzzles for a minute.* It is now! Before playing anything, or even drawing, imagine the effect each card will have on the game, and which other cards are needed, and what the chance is of getting it. Which cards can be held for later, and to which effect? Which of those cards will be Confiscated or Delinquented? For example, if you have a Mirror Force and a Waboku, hold the Force. The Waboku will protect you, and the Force isn't chainable**. Don't swarm the opponent with creatures unless their mass-removal spells and creatures are gone. Remember, a card in the hand is worth two in the graveyard (unless the card in your hand is a Monster Reborn.)

8: Thou shalt loosen up. Loosey goosey, baby. Loosey goosey. Jack Black rocks. Ah-nuld would never say something like that. He'd say it more like, "Luh-see guh-see beh-bee...". There are two types of duelists: The Jack Blacks and the Ah-nulds. Do you sit down, shuffle, turn the opponent to dog food, and leave, all without cracking a smile? You're an Ah-nuld. Do you buy psychadelic plastics, have a million good luck charms, say, "Yata, yata, yata, garasu", fling bad puns around, and always attack the pink Scapegoat*** last? You're a Jack Black. Does your nose get gnawed off by a beaver? Then you might just be a redneck. Relax! Have fun! It is a game, after all. Besides, if your opponent is choking back giggles and you lose, you still had fun. No one wants to play a poker-faced palooka**** in the second round.

9: Thou shalt not cheat or be cheated upon. Why would anyone cheat? It's not very fun, it's not worth gambling your admittance into the tourney for a win, and it isn't even very satisfying to beat someone by cheating. The skills and intelligence needed to cheat effectively could let you win normally! However, don't complain if you've been cheated. Remember to check all cards in play to ensure that the opponent isn't twisting the text on the card to satisfy his whims, and ask a judge to explain any hard-to-understand rules or card texts. Count the opponent's deck and side deck before and after a match. Make sure your opponent never drops their hand (cards) or hand (the one attached to their arm*****) below the table or outside of your sight. Keep anyone from talking to either player during a match (ask a judge to relocate people intent on seeing your hand or talking to the players). Always cut by taking a portion of the center of the deck and placing it on top, letting the new top drop onto the old one, and only do it once. By cutting once, the top and bottom card are together, meaning they can draw a combo. Even a riffle shuffle afterward will only separate them by one card. Also, if your opponent isn't using sleeves, or they're overly tattered, you may want to ask a judge to, well, judge if they qualify as marked cards, cards which can be differentiated from normal ones. As Professor Moody sez, "Constant Vigilance!"

10: Thou shalt read all of MagiKazoc's articles! Sorry, I couldn't think of any other commandment. However, if you enjoyed this or other articles, or you would like to tell me your dueling commandment, motto (hint hint!), or anything else of the such, please E-mail me at quagsir@hotmail.com !

Asterisk-Marked Notationy Things

*Yes, that adds up to 102%. This teaches a moral: LP numbers behave strangely during games. Use a Calc, and keep track on paper as backup.

**Chainable means it can be chained. Duh! Look for this in MK's CGCC, coming soon!

***This joke originated in an anonymous article entitled, "Humiliation Strategy". If Anyone knows who wrote that sucka, tell me so I can give credit! BTW, some downloadable, printable Yu-Gi-Oh! stuff is a-comin' next, including real cards for the goatees!

****A Palooka is a second-rate prizefighter, but a first-rate funny word (and insult!)

*****Yes, someone out there must have his Yu-Gi-Oh! cards physically attached to his body. But who reads my articles and takes them literally? If you are thinking,

"I do", press ALT + F4 now.******

******He he he! Did you actually do that?! If you did, send an E-mail to quagsir@hotmail.com and tell me! You'll be featured in the next article!

Oh boy, do my fingers hurt from writing all this,

MagiKazoc!

P.S. Pojo dudes, my E-mail address is under the Tenth Commandment up there! Thanx for posting this tip!

P.P.S.Quagsires forever!!