Pook's Top Ten Card That Will Never, Ever Be Produced

 

Thanks to everyone who responded so nicely to my first posting.  Here are 10 cards that will never be made by Konami, that is, not until they completely run out of ideas and become desperate. 

 

10.    Blue Eyes Platinum Dragon – Effect/Dragon/Light, 8 star, 8000/8000 – Effect:  If the ATK of this monster is higher than the DEF of the defending monster, calculate the difference and inflict them to opponent’s life points. 

9. Dark Magician the Gatherer – Normal Monster/Spellcaster/Dark, 7 star, 2600/1000 – Card Text:  It is said that there is no creature that smells fouler than he.  It is also said that he still resides in his parents’ dungeon. 

8. Child Prodigy – Quick Play Spell Card – Text:  You may activate this card when your life points are lower than your opponent’s, and your opponent is 10 years old or younger.  Tell opponent that there is no Santa Claus.  If opponent cries, switch Life Points. 

7. Daredevil’s Snare – Normal Trap Card – Turn off all of the lights in the Dueling Arena.  Continue to play the round as normal without the aid of sight. 

6. Oznij – Effect/Machine/Dark, 5 star, 1200/2400 – Effect:  As long as this monster remains on the field, only Trap cards may be set or played.  If Jinzo is also on the field, the game is automatically ended, with both players losing. 

5. And Everybody Say…Yatta! – Continuous Trap Card – Text:  This card may only be activated when your opponent plays “Yata-Garusu”.  During each of your standby phases, place 1 [Greenleaf] (Plant/Earth, 1 star, 200/200) Token on your side of the field.  If you have 5 [Greenleaf] tokens on your side of the field, both players must get up and dance for the rest of the match. 

4. Dumbfounded – Normal Spell Card – Text:  For the remainder of the match, no one may draw any cards at any time.  This cannot be countered by Magic Jammer, Magic Drain, or Imperial Order.  Both players must remain seated until the game is won, or else forfeit the match. 

3. Advanced Insect – Fusion/Effect/Insect/Earth, 4 star, 1300/500 – Basic Insect + Basic Insect.  Effect:  If you successfully summon this monster, end your turn and your life. 

2. Final Exam – Normal Spell Card – Text:  Once you play this card, your opponent has 3 seconds to name a breed of giraffe.  If he/she cannot, your opponent must eat their most valuable card.  Ketchup may be added if requested. 

1. I Win – Quick Play Spell Card – Text:  If this card is successfully played, you win the match.  This card cannot be countered by any means necessary.  Limit 2 per deck. 

 

 

Well, that’s it.  If you liked this, please drop me an email – doonpook@hotmail.com - and I’ll happily take requests for my next Top Ten List as well. 

 

Pook