Preface (written by BigSpooky)
"First, there was the great Spooky and his army of Killer Squirrels. But as King Spooky grew older, he found it increasingly difficult to maintain control of his vast armada as he once had. So the king bestowed the right to wield the awesome power of the Killer Squirrels on a select few. This is the story of one brave man who hearkened to the task..."

Welcome back to another exciting edition of Squirrels Gone Wild!  This will be my 4th tournament using this deck tech.

With introductions out of the way, it's now time to kick it SQUIRREL STYLE!!!

SQUIRRELS GONE WILD (41 cards)

MONSTERS (17)

Tribute
1x Summon Skull
1x Jinzo
Non-Tribute
1x Cyber Jar
2x Kycoo the Ghost Destroyer
1x Gemini Elf
2x Magician of Faith
1x Man-Eater Bug
2x Penguin Soldier
1x Witch of the Black Forest (Can snag any creature in my deck)
3x Nimble Momonga (KILLER SQUIRRELS!!!) [Fully endorsed by the Squirrel Master himself, BigSpooky]
1x Sinister Serpent
1x Morphing Jar (Yes, American TP2-001!)

MAGIC (19)

1x Change of Heart
1x Dark Hole
1x Heavy Storm
1x Harpie's Feather Duster
2x Tribute to the Doomed
2x Nobleman of Crossout
1x Monster Reborn
1x Pot of Greed
1x Premature Burial
1x Raigeki
1x Snatch Steal
1x Swords of Revealing Light
1x Graceful Charity
1x Scapegoat
1x Painful Choice
1x United We Stand
1x Mage Power

TRAPS (5)

1x Call of the Haunted
1x Mirror Force
1x Skull Lair
1x Imperial Order
1x Magic Cylinder

SIDEBOARD (15)

1x Delinquent Duo
1x Soul Release
1x The Forceful Sentry
1x Card Destruction
1x Sangan
1x Confiscation
1x Tornado Bird
1x Collected Power
1x Seven Tools of the Bandit
1x Mystical Space Typhoon
1x Magic Jammer
1x Exchange
1x Curse of Fiend
1x Megamorph
1x Metalmorph

    Ok, here's the basic strategy for the deck (try to keep up):  Make your opponents lifepoints less than or equal to zero.  The sideboard is basically to take down theme decks like Exodia  Of particular note is Tornado Bird, which I decided I could search for with Sangan and Witch of the Black Forest if I came against another Destiny Board deck.

    Those of you who remember my last report will notice a couple of changes to my deck.  I took out The Fiend Megacyber because even though it's a good card (and it helped me beat the crap out of Brian in my last tournament report) it's effect just doesn't get used too often and Goblin Attack Force easily destroys it.  Also, if you opponent is 2 monsters ahead of you, a 2200 attack monster won't save you.  Good sidedeck card versus Scapegoat decks though.  Also, anyone perusing my deck list might be shocked to see one card almost no one plays: Painful Choice.  Come to think of it, the only deck type most people can even say should have Painful Choice in it is Exodia for the combo with Backup Soldier.  Well, I think it'd be great in a Valkyrion deck too, as all you have to do is draw Beta the Magnet Warrior, and then Painful Choice Alpha and Gamma into your graveyard and Backup Solider them to your hand to have the parts needed to summon Valkyrion!  As far as I know, I'm the first person to think of that.  If you had already thought of that combo, good for you.  If you didn't, then feel free to use the combo in your Valkyrion deck.  Just don't go around saying that you thought of it all by yourself ;)  Anyways, back to why I have Painful Choice in my deck.  I have a lot of graveyard recursion cards such as Call of the Haunted, Premature Burial, Sinister Serpent and Magician of Faith.  Using Painful Choice allows me to get Sinister Serpent into my graveyard and, subsequently, into my hand.  Also, if I need a certain magic card and I have a Magician of Faith set, I can get the exact card I need from my deck no matter what my opponent chooses.  Finally, I can Painful Choice for 5 cards that I don't need to thin my deck so I won't draw them later.  For instance, let's say I'm facing a Fire Princess deck that is never going to attack me.  Well, my Mirror Force, Swords of Revealing Light, and Magic Cylinder just became useless.  Drawing them later on wouldn't help me at all, so I can Painful Choice for those three cards, plus two more (like, Sinister Serpent and Summoned Skull) and they'll more than likely give me the Sinister Serpent since it'll be returning to my hand anyways and I certainly won't be forced to draw useless cards anymore.  All in all it's still not recommended for every deck, but in this deck it can help out a lot.

And so the story begins...

    As I showed up a good 5 minutes early for the tournament, a lot of the workers at Dream Wizards recognized me.  I guess I've become a regular there.  Anyways, one of them goes "Hey, you seriously got to start showing up earlier."  For those of you who don't know, I had a knack for showing up right at the last minute before registration ends.  Anyways, today it was 5 minutes before the tournament started.  Another worker chimes in "Hey, as long as he's here before 1:30, he's good."

Looking around at the local crowd I saw Phil, Adam, Matt, Tim, Jason, Jake... basically all the regulars.  Even the adults were back.  Having been trumped last tournament when the adults were notably absent, I knew I had a bit of a challenge coming today.  I talk to my "posse" which basically includes Phil, Adam, Matt and Tim and they informed me that Adam, who usually is in the tournament, was not in the tournament.  Equally odd was that Matt and Phil, who usually aren't in the tournaments WERE in the tournament.  It was like a parallel universe where everything was backwards.  Shortly after the pairings were up and it was time to duel.  Phil got paired with Kendel who was still with his dragon deck.  Those of you who remember my 2nd tournament report know that Kendel eliminated me in the 1st round the 2nd time I ever played in a tournament.  Of course, back then I was playing a variant of my "Rage" deck which altogether wasn't that great of a deck, and I had almost beat him.  Phil was playing a Restrict deck and I thought his Thousand Eyes Restrict would nullify Kendel's dragon onslaught.  I was paired with this guy Drew who looked like he was a freshman in high school.  Anyways, it was time to DUEL!

Round 1: Kris (That's me!) vs Drew [Beatdown]
Drew plays your standard, run-of-the-mill beatdown deck.  Granted, I love beatdown as it's a very versatile type and isn't easily countered, but if you don't have any tricks up your sleeve, you're not going to have any advantage over every other Beatdown player.

Duel 1: I forget most of the details of this duel, but at some point I Snatch Stole Drew's Summoned Skull equipped with an Axe of Despair or a United We Stand or something.  I do remember making the mistake of not using Dark Hole afterwards (despite a strong urge I felt... let's call it intuition) as he Mystical Space Typhooned the Snatch Steal, Raigekied, and then attacked my open field for the win.
Me: 8000-7200-3700-0
Drew: 8000-3600-4600

So I lost the first duel, despite having this latest and greatest deck.  Oh well, time for one of my trademark come from behind wins.  Come to think of it, just about every time I've ever gone 3 duels and won the match, I've lost the 1st game and then won the next two.

Duel 2: Aside from a Gemini Elf hit I took, I was the aggressor the entire duel.  Jinzo showed his face early thanks to a Change of Heart on Drew's Gemini Elf.  My Gemini Elf soon hit the field, and Drew said goodbye to his life points.
Me: 8000-6100
Drew: 8000-5600-1300-0

Duel 3: I was on the defensive almost the entire time during this duel because I couldn't draw a good monster.  On the other hand, I did draw Sinister Serpent, so Drew had to kill the same Sinister Serpent about 40 thousand times this duel.  I'm pretty sure he got tired of me repeating "One monster, in defense mode" over and over again.  However, towards the end of the duel the score was close (3400 to 2300) but I had no monsters in my hand.  I did have Dark Hole, Harpie's Feather Duster, Painful Choice and Premature Burial thanks to my Morphing Jar.  As I looked through my pitiful graveyard, I couldn't find anything useful inside and I knew Drew was going to unleash his new hand next turn.  Then it hit me.  I played Painful Choice and got Jinzo and Summoned Skull.  He gave me the Summoned Skull but I Premature Burialed Jinzo and won the duel.
Me: 8000-5600-5100-4700-5700-3400-2600
Drew: 8000-5100-2300-0

Once again I went 3 duels in the first round, so it wasn't like Drew was a bad duelist or anything.  He just didn't have Squirrel Power ;)  Drew was disappointed about the duel as he thought he was going to go for several rounds before being eliminated and his mom wasn't coming back to pick him up for another 2 hours.  As we reported in I wanted to show him a card from my deck and as I go through it, I find The Fiend Megacyber and I was like "Wait a minute, I don't have a Fiend Megacyber in my deck..." so apologies to Drew for accidentally taking his Fiend Megacyber, but luckily he was right there so I could give it back to him.  I went to talk to Phil and it seemed that he had been eliminated by Kendel in the first round... I vowed revenge if I faced Kendel in a later round (besides, I owe him one anyways).  Of course, that didn't happen, but that's a mute point.  Matt had been playing his Stall deck and he was unable to get any of his stall cards out on his last opponent.  I guess his deck just hates him.  He doesn't have his heart in the cards.  Sometime later Round 2 pairings were posted and it was time to duel.

Round 2: Daedalus (That's me too!) vs Diana [Beatdown]
I see Diana around sometimes.  After all, you tend to notice anyone who's not a adolescent male playing a CCG.  I think she had seen me around and thought that we would duel each other because she told me "I've seen you around before and I figured it was only a matter of time before we dueled each other."  Anyways, Diana knows Jake and Phil so we were basically friends by association.  She told me that Phil had said that I was pretty good, so that was a nice compliment.

Duel 1:  I got an early Witch of the Black Forest hit in (why don't more people play these in attack mode?).  I pulled a nice combo where I played Raigeki, played Scapegoat, and then attached United We Stand to a monster and hit her for a lot of damage.  I think a really bad cyber jar had me left with no monsters.  However, I did draw Dark Hole, so that was a plus.  I tried to attack her directly after using Dark Hole but she activated Scapegoat.  ARG!  Eventually I snatch stole one of her monsters and came back for the win, but this was a very long game.
Me: 8000-4750-3950
Diana: 8000-6900-1600-2600-0

Duel 2:  This duel was a lot like the last one, except that I got a better hand.  I hit her with a Mage Power equipped Summoned Skull that I had Monster Reborned from her graveyard while I had 3 Magic/Trap cards out which brought her down to 200 life points.  However, she Snatch Stole the Summoned Skull, but luckily one of my set cards was Scapegoat, which saved me for a turn.  She then played a Swords of Revealing Light.  I Dark Holed and played Kycoo the Ghost Destry and set Magic Cylinder.  During her turn she played a 7 colored fish and attacked, but I activated the Cylinder for the win.
Me: 8000-5500-6400-7400-4900-3400
Diana: 8000-6100-4200-200-0

This was a really fun duel as we both played very well and we even got several spectators who commented on how good the duel was, as it kept going back and forth.  It's kind of fun having spectators.  They supply ambiance.  Though it's not mentioned in the duels, I think I killed about a dozen scapegoat tokens during the course of this round.  I looked around for Kendel to seek revenge for Phil (and to rematch him) but he was no where to be found... oh well.  Revenge will have to wait.

Round 3: Professor Squirrels (Also me!) vs Brian [Exodia]
I have never seen Brian around, though he looks about my age.  Apparently his brother and some of their friends decided to come compete today at this store, which they usually never come to.  As such, I had no idea what to expect out of his deck but I luckily saw a Mystic Tomato early on that instantly gave away his deck archetype.

Duel 1:  I won the coin toss (which I did a lot today, but that's beside the point) and decided to go first.  Penguin Soldier crept into my hand along with Painful Choice.  I play Painful Choice and fetch Summoned Skull and Sinister Serpent, among other things, and then set my Penguin Soldier.  Brian plays Graceful Charity and discards a Mystic Tomato.  He then sets a monster and ends his turn.  Sinister Serpent comes back to my hand and I flip my Penguin Soldier to bounce his monster and itself back to my hand. Who'd have thunk it?  Anyways, I Premature Burial Summoned Skull and hit him for 2500 and reset Penguin Soldier.  Next turn I flip Penguin Soldier to return itself and Brian's monster and then play Kycoo the Ghost Destroyer and kick the crap out of Brian's life points.
Me: 8000-7200
Brian: 8000-5500-1200-0

Duel 2:  Oddly enough, I decided not to sidedeck anything as I had crushed Brian in the first duel and I didn't want to mess with a good thing.  Besides, I figured if I lost this duel, then I would still have a chance to sidedeck some cards in for duel 3.  However, my intuition was right as this duel was almost a repeat of the previous one.
Me: 8000-7500
Brian: 8000-5500-1600-0

Brian was a good sport about losing, as he lost with a smile.  I admire that in an opponent.  It means that they enjoyed playing the game, whether or not they lost.  Brian said it just wasn't in the cards for him that round.  Oh, I forgot about this, but Brian used this weird combo that I hadn't seen before.  He comboed Appropriate with Hiro's Shadow Scout to draw 6 cards.  I never thought about that, but it seemed correct at the time but I later found out that even though I'm drawing 3 cards, it still counts as only a single draw (just like how Pot of Greed counts as a single draw).  No bother this duel as I won anyway.  After I reported in, Brian, one of the judges, asked me to go to Wendy's for him to get him some food.  Matt and I went, but I didn't have any cash on me so Matt bought me a Dr. Pepper.  Props to Matt for providing me with some sustenance.  By the time I got back, the next round was about to begin and I was once again placed at table 1 (I had played Diana and Brian at table 1)

Round 4: Squirrel Master Kris (Wooo!) vs ???? [Exodia Beatdown]
What sucks is that I see this guy every week and I totally forgot his name.  What I do know is that he plays an Beatdown Exodia deck.  It's basically your standard fare beatdown deck with Exodia tossed in.  He usually makes it to the 3rd or 4th round with it, so it's got some potential.  I, however, have never faced him before, though I've sat next to him countless times and watched him win and lose duels.  Today he actually had a small onteroge of two people cheering for him.  They were kind of cool and messed around with us by constantly gasping and sighing and the like, just like spectators might, only exaggerated.  When I first met him back in the day, I was impressed that he played Exodia but today, with my deck, everything was coming up Squirrels.

Duel 1:  He tried to let me just let him go first but I was like "No, I have a coin" which he called wrong so I once again went first.  Please remember that he was playing a beatdown deck when you check the scores, and he never touched me the entire game.  My first attack was from a Witch of the Black Forest and Kycoo.  I managed to get Morphing Jar and Call of the Haunted set on the field and next turn I then pulled a sick combo where I set cards from my hand, flipped Morphing Jar (which forced me to discard Jinzo), played Raigeki, Harpie's Feather Duster, and set 3 M/T.  What was kinda funny was that as I was setting Magic and Trap cards, he, fearing the worst, goes "Look, he's going to have a Mage Power."  Then, I played Mage Power and that was game.
Me: 8000
Brian: 8000-5100-0

Duel 2:  No sick combos this duel... oh wait, yes there was.  Knowing full well that his deck had Exodia in it, I sidedecked a couple of Exodia killers into my deck, though not the whole lot of them.  One of the cards I put in was Delinquent Duo, which is a good card whether or not your going up against an Exodia deck.  Though I didn't get any Exodia pieces with it, I did hit his Barrel Dragon which I promptly Monster Reborned and beat the crap out of him with.  By the time he got rid of his own dragon, he was at 1200 life points.  I set my Magic Cylinder and he played a monster, looked over at my set card while his friend says "it's going to be Magic Cylinder!"  Though he said it in a semi-sarcastic manner, it WAS Magic Cylinder and psychic powers frighten me... well, not really, but Magic Cylinder finished this duel.  Go Magic Cylinder!
Me: 8000-9000-6200-4400-3400
Brian: 8000-3800-1200-0

He was also a good sport about losing, so I'd like to play him again.  Oddly enough, I've heard stories about how he cheats but today, against me, he was an honest duelist.

Round 5: Squirrel Master Kris (Can't think of many more names) vs Jason [Beatdown]
This is the same Jason that defeated me 2 tournaments ago with a Fisherman deck.  Last tournament he was playing Exodia and today, it was your standard beatdown deck.  I'm good against standard beatdown decks as I've had a lot of practice against them.  Also, I was well rested, unlike the time I was defeated by him where I was zoning out every 3 seconds.  Revenge would be MINE!  MUAHAHAH!!!

Duel 1:  There is definitely not an error in the scores.  By the time I actually hit Jason, it was for 5700 life points.  I'm pretty sure the only damage to my life was from my own Premature Burial from the Painful Choice combo.
Me: 8000-7200
Jason: 8000-2300-0

Duel 2:  Wow, was this a crazy duel.  Jason got a Penguin Soldier lock because I couldn't get any monsters with an attack higher than 1000 out and then proceeded to pelt away with at my life points.  I finally got out a descent monster and ended that, but I was so far in the hole that I knew there wasn't going to be a lot of room left for error.  I managed to bring a Summoned Skull out but he change of hearted it and attacked my open field which brought me down to 500 life.  Just when it seems like I was on the verge of losing, Morphing Jar comes through and sets me up with a devastating hand which allowed me to deal over 4200 points of damage to Jason.
Me: 8000-6200-4400-3900-500
Brian: 8000-6200-4200-0

Woo!  So I got my revenge on Jason.  I was then politely informed that I had a bye for the semi-finals!  Woo!  I was going to the finals!  This was most definitely a first for me.

Round 6 (Semi-Finals): Squirrel Master Kris gets a BYE

I figured I had a while before it was time for me to duel.  Phil had been trying to play me all day but I was always busy with a tournament duel, but now I had time... or so I thought.  We both got really retarded hands and ended up having Magician of Faith wars because we had no other creatures.  About 5 minutes later, Professor Chaos (a judge whom I am friends with) comes over and informs me that it was time for the finals.  I was shocked and asked "already?" and Professor Chaos told me that was indeed the case.  So, the game between Phil and I ended abruptly.  Here's the scores from that game:
Me: 8000-7700
Phil: 8000-7700
The only damage each of us took was from a Magician of Faith.  Like I said, it was setting up to be a really retarded game.  But enough about that, it was time for the FINALS!!!

Round 7 (FINALS!!!): Squirrel Master Kris vs Brian's Older Brother [Speed Exodia]
This is the Brian I faced in round 3's older brother.  Brian was a bit psyched about the duel either because he wanted revenge or because he thought it was going to be a good duel.  I really couldn't tell.  Professor Chaos was judging and watching the match and he told me that I would be facing an Exodia deck so I sidedecked a few of my Exodia killers into my deck (but not a lot, as I didn't know exactly what I would be facing).  As I found my seat I heard Brian's Older Brother talking with the head judge about how his Hiro's Shadow Scout/Appropriate combo only draws him 2 cards and not 6.  He started saying that the "Upper Deck Official Ruling say that it draws you 6 cards."  I promptly whipped out my copy of the Upper Deck Official Rulings (thank you Pojo) and found out that it most certainly did NOT draw you 6 cards.  Because of this ruling (bravo Ping for getting it right), Brian's Older Brother used his sidedeck to replace his Appropriates and Shadow Scouts with other cards.  I think that it would've been a stupid combo if it drew you 6 cards.  That would mean that it's more powerful than Morphing Jar, as your opponent doesn't nearly get as many cards as you.  Word to the wise: if you see a combo that is insanely broken, chances are it doesn't work that way (like the Catapult Turtle/Last Will combo people tried to say was infinite).  Anyway, as I sat there waiting for the duel to start, I shuffled my cards and a massive crowd surrounded the table.  I couldn't tell if it was because I was at a different perspective than normal or what, but there seemed to be a whole lot more spectators than normal for a finals match.  One spectator told me that before he saw the semi-final game he would've expected me to win but after watching the semi-final game that he thought I was going to lose.  Thanks for the reassurance.  After some more shuffling by my opponent, it was time to duel!

Duel 1:  I drew a decent hand and managed to hit Brian's Bro with a Gemini Elf early on.  Next turn he played Sangan and suicided it into my Elf and then played Messenger of Peace.  The great thing about playing with Killer Squirrels is that they easily duck under Messenger of Peace and Gravity Bind.  Oddly enough, I don't think Brian had any Gravity Binds in his deck, just the 3 copies of Messenger of Peace.  Well, I managed to draw Card Destruction and played it hoping it would resolve but, alas, Brian's Bro countered it with Magic Jammer.  A couple of turns after that, I drew Painful Choice and played it to fetch Exchange and Sinsister Serpent, among other things.  Exchange went into the graveyard and I set a Magician of Faith.  Brian's Bro plays Raigeki next turn and boasts that he knew I had set a Magician of Faith.  Well, DUH.  Why else would I have fetched Exchange.  For the record, I probably should have set the Magician of Faith and wait until next turn to Painful Choice, but I initially was just going to Painful Choice to fetch Sinister Serpent and rid my deck of pointless cards that I didn't need in this duel (I had left a few things in that were worthless against Speed Exodia) when I saw Exchange and remembered the Magician of Faith in my hand and realized that it could be a combo.  It's kind of nice when you find more combos in your deck that your realized you had.  However, Brian's Bro's deck had too many ways to get Sangan back on the field.  He Premature Burialed it and killed it off and then call of the haunted it and killed it off.  Not cool.  He showed me his 5 pieces to win the duel.
Me: 8000 (He's playing speed Exodia!  He doesn't even care about my life points)
Brian's Bro: 8000-6100-5200-5100-4100-4000-3200-3100

Duel 2:  After the first duel, I sidedecked even more cards into my deck.  My opening hand contained Nobleman of Crossout, which I played on his facedown monster... which happened to be Witch of the Black Forest (YES!!!). Killer Squirrel in attack mode hit him for 1000.  Next turn he plays a Messenger of Peace (but I have SQUIRRELS!  MUAHAHA!!!) so he starts taking 100 points of damage a turn from the Messenger of Peace.  A few turns later I played Jinzo and Heavy Stormed to get rid of his Messenger of Peace.  I then attacked him directly.  Next turn he plays yet another Messenger of Peace from his hand (DOH!), plays Witch of the Black Forest and suicides the Witch into my Jinzo, taking 1300 damage.  A quick look at my calculator tells me that he's within Squirrel range with an open field and Jinzo out.  However, my Squirrels are all in the graveyard but during my draw phase I top deck PREMATURE BURIAL!  I Premature Burial a Killer Squirrel and attack him for the WIN!
Me: 8000-9000-10000-9200
Brian's Bro: 8000-7000-6900-4800-4700-2300-1000-0

Ok, after I announce that I have won the duel Brian's Brother throws a huge fit, yelling about how he still had life left and how I did not win the game.  However, a judge had been watching the entire duel and confirmed that I had indeed won the duel.  Brian's Brother then yells at the judges saying about how I was just typing random numbers into the calculator and deducting life whenever I wanted.  I mean, seriously, if he was too lazy to keep track of the life points himself and lets me do it, how are you going to contest that?  On what grounds could you ever say that I cheated just because you lost?  The judges reviewed my calculator and said that everything looked correct and Brian looks at the calculator and points at the very first hit for 1000 life that he took and says that "that attack never happened" and shuffles through his graveyard to reveal a Shallow Grave that he supposedly played to prevent me from attacking him directly.  I remember him discarding that exact Shallow Grave to his Graceful Charity and tell him that there's no way that happened.  Besides, he would have had to play the Shallow Grave during my turn for his story to be true, so basically he was full of it.  Let me remind you that this guy was in his twenties, but he certainly acted like he was still in elementary school.  Anyways, after about five judges confirm that I had indeed done 8000 points of damage to him, the next duel began.

Duel 3:  Ok, if the last duel was dumb, then this one was insanely retarded.  Brian's Bro opted to go first and he played Sangan in attack mode (just daring me to attack it).  I drew Exchange in my opening hand along with a Killer Squirrel!  I wanted to make sure he had a piece of Exodia in his hand before I played Exchange so I played a Killer Squirrel and attacked his Sangan.  Both creatures went to the graveyard but I was rewarded with 2 squirrels!  He fetched an Exodia piece and then I played Exchange.  Here's where things got stupid.  I go "Exchange?" expecting a Magic Jammer or something and he shows me his hand.  I look to see what he has and he did indeed only have 1 Exodia piece in his hand, which I took.  I show him my hand which had Change of Heart and Monster Reborn and he sits there looking at my hand for a good 5 minutes.  During that time, he jokes with the judge about taking back his Exodia piece.  He then reaches for my Monster Reborn, goes "no, wait a minute... Magic Jammer on Exchange."  I say "WHAT?!" and start arguing about how you can't counter a magic card that's in the process of resolving!  Then Brian's Brother throws a fit even larger than the last one about how he could show me his hand if he wanted to and wasn't doing it because of the card's effect and how I didn't give him adequate time to counter the spell (but I'm pretty sure that five minutes is more than enough).  The judge then asks me if I had shown my hand because I thought the card had resolved or because I simply wanted to.  I obviously said that I thought Exchange had resolved.  At this point another judge comes over and threatens to disqualify Brian's Older Brother for being a bad sport.  The head judge finally lets the Magic Jammer resolve just to shut up Brian's Older Bro.  I decided that I wasn't going to play his game (and I must say that after this duel, I gained much respect for the way I didn't sink to his level) so I decided to just go with it and find another way to win.  During Brian's Bro's next turn, he plays Cannon Soldier to kill his Sangan that's on the field (since all my monsters were in defense position.  On my next turn I top-deck Morphing Jar!  I decide to use my Change of Heart to deal a lot of damage to Brian's Bro before Morphing Jar rewards me with a fresh hand and forces Brian's Older Brother to discard his hand.  So, I Change of Heart Brian's Cannon Soldier and Brian does the lamest syke out that I have ever seen.  He goes "Oh no!" and then turns to the judge (who was now keeping track of life points) and asks "Am I dead yet?"  At this point in the game, I hadn't damaged him at all so I should've just launched everything with Cannon Soldier but I decided to go for it anyways but he Mirror Forced.  No bother as I really just wanted to kill his Cannon Soldier so he couldn't reborn Sangan and launch it.  I then set Morphing Jar and ended my turn.  Next turn he top decks the last piece of Exodia and I say "WTF?!" as my Morping Jar was set.
Me: 8000-9000
Brian's Bro: 8000

When I lost the entire crowd (who was rooting for me as my opponent was the biggest jerk ever) moans and groans.  About 10 different guys come up to me after the duel and say that I should have won and that my opponent was a jerk.  However, I the judges did award me three tournament packs just as if I had won first place, so that was kinda cool.  I couldn't help feel though that I had been cheated of a tournament victory.  On the subway ride home I was replaying the match in my head when one startling fact came to me: Brian's Older Bro hadn't let me cut his deck after he had searched through it using Sangan or Witch of the Black Forest.  It would've been all to easy for Brian's Bro to set his last Exodia piece on top of his deck after searching through it with Sangan.  I'm pretty sure that up to that point he had been shuffling his deck fairly, but at that moment, with everyone hating on him, I could see him wanting desperately to win at all costs.  Of course, I should've caught that sooner but I had been so worried about playing well and my strategy that it had totally slipped my mind.  Oh well, live and learn I guess.  Since I was awarded first place packs and because Exchange should've resolved (or at least Morphing Jar should've worked), I say that for all intensive purposes, I won the tournament.  Even if you think that I suck, I still came in second out of 90 some people, so that's cool too.

What's Good and Pure:
-Me, for pseudo-winning the tournament (or coming in 2nd, depending on your perspective)
-Matt's mom for giving me a ride to the Metro
-Phil, Matt, Adam, and Tim for being my posse
-BigSpooky for writing awesome tournament reports and for being the inspiration for my tournament reports
-BigSpooky for the new name to my deck and for giving me permission to use Killer Squirrels
-Dream Wizards for hosting the tournament and for finally getting some new tables!
What's Evil and Wicked:
-People who think a deck list and a tournament report are the same thing... you know who you are.
-Brian's Older Brother for being such a whiny brat
-Brian's Older Brother for being a bad sport about losing a duel
-Brian's Older Brother for cheating and Magic Jamming a magic card that's in the process of resolving
-Brian's Older Brother for top-decking the last piece of Exodia under questionable circumstances.
-Brian's Older Brother just because he's really evil and wicked
-Me, for not shuffling Brian's Older Brother's deck each time he searched
-My packs that I won for giving me no love
-Thieves... they suck...
 

Comments?  Suggestions?  Want to know more about KSO?  E-mail me (Kris!) at rage4zero@yahoo.com