Squirrels. They're so cute...until 3 dozen of them are attacking you. That's what today's reader, John, wants to do. Let's see if we can help his squirrel deck run more smoothly.

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This is a deck I'm working on. It's a squirrel deck. It needs work though. It doesn't seem to be fast enough. I want to keep the squirrel craft combo in it. I'm on a budget so though the deck is made for vintage, I can't afford power 9 cards.  But here is my list.

 

// Deck: squirrels (60)

 

// Lands

18 Forest

4 Swarmyard

 

// Creatures

4 Deranged Hermit

4 Krosan Beast

4 Squirrel Mob

4 Squirrel Wrangler

 

// Spells

4 Acorn Harvest

4 Chatter of the Squirrel

4 Earthcraft

2 Fog

4 Parallel Lives

4 Squirrel Nest

 

Anyway, I hope you can help me out! Thanks in advanced.

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Well, John, I admire you for wanting to take over the world with squirrels. It's not an easy task - especially up against the other decks that vintage can offer. I can't guarantee we'll make this competitive with the top tournament vintage decks, but I think we can make a few tweaks to improve it a little.

 

The first thing I noticed is that we have a number of high casting cost creatures that come in with very low power and toughness. Deranged Hermit makes 4 little buddies (that are at least 2/2 while he's in play) when he comes in, but then you have to pay another 5 mana the next turn to keep him around. That's quite an investment, and you really can't afford to have multiples of this guy clogging up your hand. Let's go down to 2 of him.

 

-2 Deranged Hermit

 

Also, Krosan Beast is just a 1/1 for 4 mana until you get to threshold. Being a squirrel himself, I want to keep him in for flavor reasons, but lets find some ways to help you get threshold more quickly. Putting stuff in your graveyard is also a good idea when you have flashback cards, because each flashback card is almost like having another card in hand. The first card that comes to mind for this is Commune with the Gods. It puts at least 4 cards into the graveyard at once and nabs you either a creatures or one of your important enchantment combo pieces. 

 

+4 Commune with the Gods

 

The next thing I'd like change is to put in Moment's Peace instead of Fog. The effect can be great against aggressive decks that go all in, and it can give you more time to assemble your combo. Moment's Peace does cost one more, but it also allows you to use it again with flashback, so it's no problem if you dump it into the graveyard with Commune with the Gods.

 

-2 Fog

+2 Moment's Peace

 

Parallel Lives is an interesting card with this deck. Squirrel Nest makes 2 tokens each time. Acorn Harvest makes 4 squirrels. Deranged Hermit puts in 8 2/2 squirrels. I get it. The problem is, that Vintage games are very quick, and you've mentioned how you notice your deck isn't quick enough. Parallel Lives takes a whole 4 mana and then you have to wait until you have the mana to cast a squirrel maker. That's a bit too slow, and as fun as it is, I think we can achieve your objective without it. Instead, to make things faster, I'd like to suggest a tricky card - Concordant Crossroads. It gives ALL creatures haste for 1 mana. Attacking with them as soon as they come in allows them to do damage more quickly. But as I said, it's a tricky card because your opponent's creatures have haste also. Make sure and keep a squirrel or two back to block whatever hasty craziness your opponent might come up with. Or, better yet, wait to play it until the turn you know you're making a horde of squirrels.

 

-4 Parallel Lives

+4 Concordant Crossroads

 

As I continue to mull over your deck, I notice you have 8 cards that help make individual huge squirrels. With no trample, no flying or other evasion, and no way to kill opposing creatures, most of the time these big squirrels are going to run into some little chump blocker. I think you're better off focusing on overwhelming them with the horde of smaller squirrels. We won't get rid of all the big guys, however, because they can be a fun surprise as a hasty attacker if you have Concordant Crossroads out. We'll take out 2 of each, and put in 2 Wall of Roots. Wall of Roots will help you accellerate your mana a little bit, speeding up your deck, while helping you stall aggressive attackers. 

 

-2 Krosan Beast

-2 Squirrel Mob

+2 Wall of Roots

 

Finally, I'd like to make one suggestion on your lands - Dryad Arbor. Since he's a creature also, you can find him with Commune with the Gods if you need more mana. Or, he can be a blocker in a pinch. He can also be the untapped creature Earthcraft needs to get your flow of squirrels started. 

 

+4 Dryad Arbor

-4 Forest

 

While Magic offers no guarantees, I'd try some of these changes and see if they don't speed you up and make your deck work a little better. Let me know how things work out!

 

 

// Deck: squirrels (60)

 

// Lands

14 Forest

4 Dryad Arbor

4 Swarmyard

 

// Creatures

2 Deranged Hermit

2 Krosan Beast  

2 Squirrel Mob   

4 Squirrel Wrangler

2 Wall of Roots             

 

// Spells

4 Acorn Harvest            

4 Chatter of the Squirrel

4 Earthcraft                  

2 Moment's Peace          

4 Concordant Crossroads

4 Squirrel Nest              

4 Commune with the Gods