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BattyMan's Top Ten Snappy Answers

Date: May 11, 2005 6:47 PM
Subject: BattyMan's Top Ten Snappy Answers



So I was hanging out at a friend's house playing some video games. It was a group of six, so two people would have to occasionally sit out because only four can play on a console at once. I'm currently trying to fix this problem by making my own console which will allow 17 people to play together. So far all I've got is Playstation 2 duct taped to an X-Box. But as soon as I get myself a hammer and a chainsaw I'll be in business.

Eventually I had to stop playing, luckily the other person who was sitting out was a good friend of mine who also played Yu-Gi-Oh. And I happened to have a deck with me, as did he. Because, lets be honest, with the constant threat of the shadow realm is it ever really safe to go outside without at least a few 1900 attackers in your back pocket?

No one there other than me and my friend played Yu-Gi-Oh, but I thought "Hey, were all mature here." "The guys should be cool about it." Of course I was wrong. Within seconds of getting out the cards one of the guys walks over to my friend and I, and with an arrogant smirk on his face, smugly asks "Are you guys playing Yu-Gi-Oh."

Every once in awhile people say things to me which I simply cannot forget about, no matter how much sarcasm I throw at it. Things like "Boy that garbage sure smells bad!" or (someone actually said this in my math class) "How do calculators know all those answers?" Things that make me think of so many sarcastic responses my brain actually shuts down from an overload.
I had way too many sarcastic answers to choose from in regards to his question, so I went with a straightforward "What's wrong with Yu-Gi-Oh?" To which, of course, he had no reply. He simply got a blank look on his face and walked away.

As a result of that incident I now present the Top Ten Snappy Answers to the Question "Are you playing Yu-Gi-Oh?"

10
No, these are flashcards for learning some weird language. Look at these words; Mazera, Thestalos, Parshath, Zaborg, sounds Russian to me.

9
No, these are baseball cards. The rampant use of steroids has caused players to resemble things like dragons and giant insects. See this card that looks like a mechanical turtle with some kind of launching device on its back? That used to be Mark McGwire.

8
Yes, why? Is Yu-Gi-Oh not cool? I had no idea! What about using a Gameboy in public, can I do that? How about all these super hero movies, did they finally make comic books acceptable reading material? Man, it is so much harder to follow the crowd, with no opinion of my own, than I would have ever guessed.

7
No, we're just seeing how new flooring would look in this room. It's pure coincidence that these tiles are shaped, and look, like Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

6
Yes, my self esteem was at a life-threateningly high level. I was praying someone would come over and judge what I do for fun disapprovingly. You got here just in time. Thank you brave soldier.

5
Yes, that's incredible! I had no idea you were a detective! What are you doing wasting your talents here when there are so many unsolved crimes?!
You must seek them out! Go! Go now!

4
No, we're trying to put together this weird puzzle with nothing put rectangular pieces.

3
No, this is a different game. See in the corner here where it says "Yu-Gi-Oh Trading Card Game"? Do you see that, in the lower right-hand corner? See it? That's a typo.

2
No way! Yu-Gi-Oh's for kids. I'm playing Pokemon. Gotta catch em all, chump.

1
Yes, but I don't actually like playing the game. I only do it to pick up chicks.

This is BattyMan saying "There is no evidence that steroids actually make you look like trading card game monsters."

Email me at BlueYoshi2187@hotmail.com if you liked this.