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David "BobDole" Hoffman on Yu-Gi-Oh!

Howdy one and all, and welcome in case you're new to my articles. If you're reading this, you're very bored, and I'm here to distend that boredom tremendously. Well, that or you like my articles.

Anyway, the subject of this article is one that's been done before. I'll admit that. I think just about every other Featured Writer has done one article or another on this. Yet, for all those written, there are still people who are complete jerks out there. This is probably going to mostly be a rant, so bear with me.

Ok, I'll admit it, I'm not a genius. Heck, I can barely spell genius. But just because you had an idea that was better than mine, doesn't make you a better player, or a better person then me. Just because you've had more chances to go to Regionals doesn't make you a better player then me. You know what makes you a better player then me? Beating me, and being humble about it.

If you can manage to slaughter me completely, and in the end offer a few points of advice where I may have messed up, or I could have done something better, I will right then and there admit you are a better player then me. I will shake my hand, get your name, and brag about having the chance to play you. However, this doesn't happen often with anyone. Most of us tend to get a bit egotistic after an easy win. Though honestly, the only thing worse then being egotistic about a win, is being a really bad loser. I have met some people in my time with YuGiOh who will downright flip out on you if you happen to get lucky. I knew a guy who was in his mid twenties who flipped out and started screaming at a 13 year old because the kid won. The judge came right over and threw him out of the store. It was sad too, because the guy had a 6-1 record, and probably would have top eighted, but since he was a jerk who couldn't take a loss due to luck, he was thrown out. And to be honest, I applaud that judge. Making a mistake, you can have a warning. Being a bit egotistic, you can have a bigger warning. Yelling at some kid because he got lucky and drew into Chaos Emperor Dragon, your butt should be banned from that store forever. There is no excuse for getting so emotional over a game.

The way a match-up should go is: Greet player, handshake, coinflip, honest game, sidedeck, honest game, handshake, possible pointers, goodbye. For some people it tends to go like this: Coinflip, not-quite-so-honest game, sidedeck, another questionable game, next match. You should always, ALWAYS, shake your opponents hand. He enjoys the game just as much as you, and has probably been working on his deck just as hard. He's a person to respect, and yes, he's human, he'll make mistakes. If you meet a guy who can smile the entire time he's dueling, you should count yourself lucky. It's a game people, it's not something to freak out about, or get emotional just because you lost. If you come in and leave with a smile, you've already beaten nearly any opponent you can imagine. People will like you, judges will like you, I will like you, and the jerks will just generally avoid you. People know when they're being jerks, and it's annoying to be reminded that you're a jerk. Therefore, they just stay away from the nicer people, though honestly they should hang around and learn a thing or two about having self control.

Now I won't name names, or accuse anyone of anything, but recently I played a match against an opponent who seemed to start off friendly, and just generally became a jerk. The first time we played, he had to leave because of an outside source. I decided it would be best if I just called it a draw, because he was basically winning anyway. We played a match later, and though I was winning, someone managed to completely destroy my internet connection via a glass of water. When I got back on, he said it was cool. I ask if we could just call it a second draw, and make this the last match. He agreed, and we started again. A few turns in, he declared he was going to win, even though I had field advantage. Well I figured I might as well press my advantage, and I brought out an Airknight to increase my hand size. Well luck shined on me, and I drew Confiscation via Airknight, which I put to immediate use and completely forgot about my face-up Command Knight which could have dealt another 1600 damage. He stated that his hand consisted of "Exiled, Prema, Cyber, and MST", I thought perhaps it was Cyber Stein, but to be sure I directly asked him "Cyber Stein?", to which he replied "Sure". I figured my best chance be to knock the Premature out of his hand so that he couldn't completely field clear and hit directly that turn, unless he drew a Smashing Ground or something. Well it came to his turn, and he Special Summoned Cyber Dragon... Apparently that's what he meant by "Cyber", and had lied to me purely because he felt like it. I immediately asked if that was the same, and in that case I would win. In all honesty, if it came down to him apologizing, I simply would have replayed the turn and chosen a different card from his hand. However, upon my saying I would auto-win, he freaked out. He started claiming that no matter what, he was the better player. He kept asking how many times I'd been to a Regionals, and that I sucked completely anyway. I simply replied "I have the respect of my peers, which is more then I can say for you", he said kept insulting me and I responded with "Not a good loser are you?". This seemed to simply aggravate him even more, and he started saying he didn't care that he lost, and I was just a sucky player.

This my friends, is a good idea of how not to take a loss. You shouldn't lie about your hand, even if you think they know it's Cyber Dragon. There are 18 cards in this game with the word "Cyber" in them, with only three being Fusions. That leaves 15 cards that it could be, and Cyber Stein OTK decks are rampant, plus Cybernetic Cyclopian could easily be teched.

My point overall is that you have to understand that this is just a Card Game based on a popular TV show/Manga. Just because you lost to someone who runs a different deck, doesn't mean that you're allowed to insult them. For that matter, you should never ever insult your opponent. Doing so is really just proving to the rest of the world that you're incapable of expressing your feelings outside of a word that offends. I always think that people who use the "F" word constantly, or who are only capable of a handful of things to say are just plain and simply stupid. How hard is it to spell a four letter word? Granted it's the single most versatile word in the entire English language, but really you don't need to use it every other word, and especially when the comment is directed at your opponent.

Now though I've used the word opponent constantly, I really shouldn't. Don't think of them as your enemy, think of them as a fellow duelist who's trying to get to the same place you are. They came in hoping for the exact same thing you did, and it's hardly fair that you should insult them because you happen to have better cards. Treat them as you would your best friend, because honestly, they could be. How cool would it be to have a good friend who's into the same stuff as you? It's awesome really. It's always cool to know that if you want to see the newest release, you don't have to see it alone because your girlfriend thinks it looks stupid. A comment that seems to be the new replacement for "It's too violent". I like digressing. If you can manage to befriend a fellow duelist, that's great. You have someone you can practice against, someone who may be able to drive you to Regionals, someone who could come to really help you out in life. But if you decide to be the complete jerkwad instead, no one's going to want to be your friend. Do you want to befriend someone who thinks everyone else in the world sucks because they don't run the newest deck on Metagame? Be honest, ya don't. Nobody wants to spend their time hearing nothing but "Well you should run this, or you should tech that". It's annoying, especially when Originality seems to be suffering the game of YuGiOh.

To further my point, think of this. Have you ever been in a chatroom? Have you ever been in a chatroom based on YuGiOh, or another popular game/band/movie/whatever? Have you ever been in one of those rooms, and had some random person enter and start yelling "YuGiOh Sucks", or "Coldplay's for girls". You just want to hunt them down and stab them with a bullet. You really wish at that moment your fist could pass through computer monitors and slug that jerkwad, teach him real good. Well those people are better than you if you're a jerk who insults others because he can't deal with his situation in life. At least they can claim ignorance to it all. Maybe they've never really played the game, and haven't had as much fun as you. In the case that you're a whiny pissant who can't take a loss, you've experienced the fun of the game. You've had good times in it, and right now you're just adding to someone elses bad times. Plain and simple. You are worse then ignorant. You're just a loser with nothing better in his life. Not only are you devoting your time and talent to a game, but you're also complaining about it. Someone really should drag you out into the street and kick your kidneys a few dozen times. They should even go so far as to hang you naked from a shopping mall ceiling on Christmas Eve while their posse of rampant Clown Thugs circle you on their motorcylces prodding you with sticks and socks full of toasters. Yea, you were asking for it anyway.

So in the end, don't be a jerk. That fellow duelist has put time and effort into his deck too. I personally have spent many nights thinking how I could possibly make mine better, trying to take out situation cards, thinking of how to combo. When I take it a Regionals (Which I hope to do in the near future), I don't want somebody to tell me I suck. I've probably worked harder then them in all honestly. At least I sat down and thought on my deck, they just ripped it from MetaGame.com, and are pissed because it didn't work as well for them as it did for the originator. By the way, I'm against Netdecking incase anyone asks. I think the single most fulfilling thing you can do, is win a tournament with a deck you made. A deck that you put your heard into. People accuse me of going with the Cookie Cutter. Really, the Cookie Cutter went with me. I've been running Warrior since LOD came out, and I had the idea of ToolBox Warrior long before it became Cookie Cutter. I was running ToolBox Warrior before the banlist was even thought up.

But once again I digress. I'm done with my rant though. Here's one from my good friend Mack. He's on my Team, and is really helpful when it comes to thinking up new strategies. He's especially helpful when you want to extend your article a bit and he's desperate to become a Featured Writer. Some people say I'm using him to further myself, I say they need to shut up and find their own abusable writing servant. Don't be hatin'.

Mack:

In this game, there are few things I think we all, as a community, need to do. One thing though, is respect each other. I understand how easy it is to make fun of the n00b who says he pwns you or something, but give him some respect and it will come back to you later. I think, without respect, none of us at the higher levels of competition would have a very good time at the game.
If we all ran around saying how horrible this n00b is, or had much of a scrub that guy is, then we are ruining part of the fun of this game. I know I like it when I walk into a local store or tourney and everyone recognizes me and my talent. Without respect, we aren't a community, we are just people going through motions blaming this loss and that loss on something else. Not how the other player may have been better prepared. These are just my opinions on respect among players, you may not believe me, but when you go to the next Regionals, or SJC, think of how fun it would be to see everyone acting the worst sport you have seen. I know I would hate spending 6 and a half or more hours on that. I'm out, keep on reading these articles, they give me something to do.

- David "BobDole" Hoffman and Mack"Smashing" Soldier


Notes: This was all done in about half an hour. I spent up to two hours sometimes just writing. This was a complete rant though, and I really didn't think about what I was saying. Props to my siblings for not kicking out my internet this time. Also props to Josh, Dui, and Mack of course. The four of us form the elite team Fate. Team Fate, don't even bother picking up the cards you already lost.

PS: Mack hates the nickname "Smashing", though I think it's cool. He also wants to be a Featured Writer.