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Mofox on YuGiOh!

My Morphing Jar is broken!
August 7, 2007

Good Morning, Good Afternoon and Good Evening to all and everyone around the world who can be bothered to read this at whatever time you are reading it.

Unfortunately due to circumstances out of my control i.e. LIFE.  I have not been able to dedicate any time whatsoever to this writing shindig.  Oh well I’m sure the millions and millions of fans out there who sat weeping into their pillows every time they loaded up the main site to see just another card of the day and no article from Mofox are now jumping with delight.

Well before you get too carried away let me just put you in the picture a little.

A while back I had a dream, a noble cause that would drag new players into this game and show them that anyone, even a 25 year old geek like me (who gets the piss taken out of him for the love he has for this game) can succeed at this TCG.  “I will qualify for the UK Nationals tournament!” I exclaimed and show people that anyone can do it.  Well if you call getting beat 2-0 by an 8 year old; with a gadget deck; in your first ever regional; the mark of a nationals qualifier, then yeah I succeeded!!!  I went to my first regional with a fire aggro deck, it was sh*t hot (in my opinion of course) and went 2-5, losing 3 duels 2-1 with each duel losing one game by a margin less than 500LP (including one against Simon Mcgoldrick and another against none other than our own MIA featured writer Aaron Fletcher).  I convinced myself that if I would’ve got that Ring of Destruction I needed before the tourney (Aaron, answer your f*ckin mobile phone when it rings) I could of beaten all 3 of those opponents and went 5-2 and maybe top 8 in my first ever regional, how delusional was I.

Anyway bottom line is I scrubbed my first regional and never made it to Nationals.  What an awesome journey!  Since then I have been unable to make any time to do some writing for this website. Yahoo!

Something I have realised over the course of my hiatus from this site is that people take this game far too seriously I mean really f*ckin seriously!  I was one of those poor souls.  Before I was even a “pro” yugimonz player I was a serious newbie with a serious goal…. Yawn, how boring!

This game is fun.  I find it fun to play so therefore from now on any writing I do get around to doing, when I can be arsed, will also be fun.  Hence this piece.

OK so to the main point of this crap that I am going to call an article.

My Morphing Jar is broken, it is so ridiculously broken that I can’t begin to explain.  Like if this was the brokenness equivalent of say I dunno a mountain it would be the Everest of Brokenness.  I can say this because I have been to 3 sneak peaks and 1 regional and I am therefore fully qualified (oh and I’m also a featured writer on this site which automatically makes me qualified) to give my opinions on what I think is broken and what should be banned on the next banlist.  Forget the fact that Konami/UDE are in this to make a quick buck, they should listen to me and grant my wish to have my card stricken from the playable list and condemned to that banned list for being outright broken!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait I have an example of why my card is sooooo broken!  This will therefore justify my opinion on why this brokenness of a jar deserves its time on the banlist.  Here we go:

I’m playing on my DS Lite, YGO World Championships 2007 (what an awesome game by the way go out and buy it now!!).  I’ve finally set up my piece of crap wireless network so that I can get down and dirty with some online duelling.

I decide to choose a randomly rated duellist hoping that I can compete with the greatest this game has to offer, now that is some serious dirtiness.  I pull a guy (not literally) who is ranked 3791, that is sooooo dirty.  My rank is 0.  I still have my crappy noob E-Hero deck that you start with but I have my secret weapon…..

……the brokenness that is MY MORPHING JAR!!! 

My opponent is running DDT or some other Destiny Hero Cookie Cutter sh*t although his deck name says ‘?’ and mine says ‘E-Hero’.  He must be thinking NOOOOB.  So off we begin… I’m pulling off some kick ass fusion gate combos getting my Thunder Giants out and sh*t.  I’m thinking he must be well scared of my moves.  Well all of sudden I’m behind.

A few Reasonings, Destiny Draws, Malicious discards, Diamond Dudes, Monster Gates, Dark Magician of Chaos and I’m staring at a full field of monsters, 200LP and only one card in my hand with none of my cards on the field.  I have 30+ cards in my deck and my opponent has 3.  There is one saving grace in my hand……

……MY MORPHING JAR.

I set this utter sexy brokenness that is THE jar and then wait in anticipation for my opponent to attack my broken card.  The prey enters my trap and attacks my face down Morphing Jar, it flips, I ROFL, then wet myself, then watch as the “connection lost” message appears on my screen.  I cry with laughter for the next 5 minutes imagining over and over the look on this “pro” yugimonz player’s face staring at his DS in disbelief that I have pulled off THE GREATEST move in YGO history.

I still giggle about it writing this now.  No doubt he thinks I am a lucksack, I’d argue it was my plan all along.  Lull my opponent into burning his whole deck ready to spring my broken card on his ass.  That wasn’t a lucksack move, that is some utter “pro”ness that only someone of my skill can possess.

So there we have proof beyond any shadow of a doubt or any common sense reasoning that we must ban my Morphing Jar.  Are you listening UDE/Konami?  Do as I ask now or face the consequences…. Yeah that’s right I will quit this game.  Hah, I bet you’re bothered now.  Think about it UDE/Konami that £15 I spend whenever I go to a sneak peak will stay in my pocket and not yours, you ruthless bunch of business men.  You who take pride in ripping off the 10 year old kids who adore this game.

I’M A “PRO” PLAYER YOU SHOULD DO AS I REQUEST.  BAN THE JAR NOW, IT IS BY FAR THE MOST BROKEN CARD IN THIS GAME.

And there we have it peeps now that I have produced one of these utter piece of crap rant articles I now feel like a fully-fledged writer.  It feels somewhat enlightening, just wait a moment readers while I enjoy this period of spiritual awakening…….

……………. anyway that’s it for now I may write again soon I may not, I don’t really know.  You can try emailing me if you want, I will read them all but I probably won’t reply, hell flame if you wish it always makes me laugh at how serious people take this game.  In fact my email address doesn’t work at the moment bcoz I haven’t logged on in a 60 day period I will try and activate it soon coz you know there are bound to be some people who will feel compelled to comment on my article good or bad.  If there are any really “good” responses to this email I may post them in my next article.

My email address is Mofox_@hotmail.co.uk Click Here to email me

Until next time fellow duellists!

……..I’m gonna have to get rid of this sign off, its almost as crap as Dark Paladin’s.

I may write an article next on who is hotter Tea Gardner or Mai Valentine….  that is gonna be one sexy, dirty article!