aroramage |
Normally, a card like this would
completely fly under the radar - I mean, who cares about
Slowbro, am I right? A Stage 1 with only 100 HP?
Uncommon? Doesn't seem that impressive, really. And
Careless Head doesn't really help much; even at 1
Energy, it only does 10 damage with a coin flip to
determine getting an extra 50. Though that is pretty
good, it's not something to actively rely on.
So why are we looking at Slowbro at
all? He seems awfully slow, bro...heh, I went there.
Well it's naturally because of his
second attack that I did, in fact, put him down at the
bare bottom of my "Top List" for this set, an attack
that's so very unique in this game and such a refreshing
idea to build around that I wouldn't be surprised if one
of you got beat by a guy who pulled out a surprise on
you with this little guy right here. What's the attack?
WALK-OFF HOMER
Now 90% of the time, this 3-Energy
cost attack looks like nothing. In fact, it really does
nothing. There's no damage value, nothing to really gain
off of it, it's all in the effect. And the effect is
simple: if you use this attack while you've got 1 Prize
left, you win.
Yes, you read that right: IF YOU
HAVE 1 PRIZE LEFT, YOU WIN THE GAME
This is the kind of attack that
just BEGS to be played around! Course, the only trouble
with that is that, while you could play around it...you
do still need to put in the effort to GETTING the attack
to work, and that ain't easy. Honestly, when I first
read this card, I was like, "WHOA, YOU COULD TOTALLY LET
YOUR OPPONENT WIN THE ENTIRE GAME, AND THEN SNATCH
VICTORY AT THE LAST SECOND!!" But that would've been,
"If your opponent has 1 Prize left, you win the game."
And this is supposed to be a
"walk-off homer." You know, like how a batter in
baseball hits the ball, doesn't get immediately out, and
because there's a guy on every base, the guy on third
gets to go to home plate automatically and score?
Walk-off homer.
In other words, you still gotta
actually play the game to make it work, and you DO need
to have 1 Prize left - not 2, not 0, not 3, 1 Prize. So
does that mean he'd be an interesting auto-win tech
card? Maybe! I would probably recommend running Splash
Energy with this if only to cycle back attackers or to
get Slowbro back so you can potentially use him, and
besides, if you can go toe-to-toe against something like
Vespiquen and deal lots of damage to get 5 Prizes,
Slowbro can win it right off the bat, but if not...well,
there ya go.
Such a neat attack though.
Rating
Standard: 1.5/5 (but practically
speaking, it's much harder to pull off)
Expanded: 1.5/5 (could be done
though, and hey, it would be funny to see!)
Limited: 3/5 (...very, very funny
to see)
Arora Notealus: Slowbro has a
specifically unique win condition that makes a game go
from "almost but not quite there" to "done and done" in
an instant without the need for a "6th KO". But if
you're gonna play him right...you kinda need to play the
game. And at that point, you might as well be dealing
the attack that nets you 6 Prizes.
Next Time: On the other hand, or
should I say "other head"...
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Otaku |
*cues
up
playlist*
While
it isn’t Slowpoke itself, today we look at the
latest card of its original Evolution: Slowbro (XY:
BREAKpoint 20/122). This version is a
Water-Type, keeping to the set’s theme, which means it
can hit nearly all Fire-Types and a portion of the
Fighting-Type for double damage thanks to Weakness and
only has to deal with Resistance when facing some (but
not all) BW-era Grass-Type Pokémon. The Water-Type
has some great direct support like Archie’s Ace in
the Hole and some potent less exclusive support like
Blastoise (BW: Boundaries Crossed 31/149;
BW: Plasma Storm 137/135; BW: Plasma Blast
16/101) and Keldeo-EX. There are a few
effects that reference Water-Types in a negative light
but… they really aren’t worth going into detail because
they are lackluster at best. Being a Stage 1 is
pretty obviously not as good as being a Basic but it
isn’t bad; you’ll need another card to get Slowbro
into play and (if Evolving normally) two turns, but it
can be done reasonably well. Its 100 HP is a bit
disappointing: too high for Level Ball but is too
low to have much durability, hence even bringing up
Level Ball when you’d have better options. Its
Grass Weakness can be dangerous but not too much because
again, only 100 HP; that isn’t super fragile but in a
format where decks seem to average more like 120 per
turn, it isn’t likely to survive even a single hit.
Lack of Resistance isn’t a huge deal; “no Resistance” is
actually the most common Resistance by a large margin.
The Retreat Cost of [CC] is low enough you can probably
afford to pay it if you must, but high enough you really
ought to have an alternative plan.
Slowbro
has two attacks; for [W] you can use the first (Careless
Head) while for [CCC] you can use the second (Walk-Off
Homer). The former does 10 damage and has you flip
a coin; “tails” means you still just do 10 but “heads”
means Slowbro hits for 10+50! 60 damage for one
Energy is very good but being unreliable tempers this
quite a bit. The latter had many of us (myself
included) quite worried at first glance, likely because
we misunderstood it. “Walk-Off Homer” is a baseball
reference, and the short definition is that it is a home
run (by knocking it out of the park) in the bottom of
the final inning that wins the game; no risk of being
tagged out but apparently you still have to officially
run (or in this case, walk) around the bases for it to
count. So what does it do on Slowbro?
As long as you were on your last Prize, you win the
game. Its [CCC] cost makes it easy to pay in decks
that have any compatible Energy acceleration, but the
main use of this attack is showing off or ensuring your
opponent has no way of preventing a win (like with
something immune to damage, that doesn’t give up a
Prize, etc. in your opponent’s Active slot). Most
of the time there will be easier ways around such an
issue, though, like Lysandre.
Slowbro
could be put directly into play via Archie’s Ace in
the Hole, but let us take a look at our Slowpoke
options. There are three to consider, though the
oldest is only legal for Expanded play: BW: Dark
Explorers 23/108, XY: BREAKpoint 19/122, and
Generations 32/83. All are Basic Pokémon
with no Resistance, Ability or Ancient Trait but two
attacks. BW: Dark Explorers 23/108 is a
Water-Type with 70 HP, Lightning Weakness, Retreat Cost
[CCC], the attack “Big Yawn” for [C], which renders both
itself and the opponent’s Active Asleep), and the attack
“Shot In the Dark” for [WC], which requires two coin
flips and both must be heads just to do 20 damage. XY:
BREAKpoint 19/122 is also a Basic Water-Type Pokémon
with 70 HP, but it has Grass Weakness and a Retreat Cost
of [CC]; its first attack (Headbutt) does 10 damage for
[C] and its second attack (Tail Lure) costs [CC] while
allowing you to search your deck for a Pokémon and add
it to your hand. Generations 32/83 is a Basic,
Psychic-Type with 50 HP, Psychic Weakness and a Retreat
Cost of [C]. Its first attack (Spacing Out)
costing C to heal 10 damage from itself, but only if you
get “heads” on a coin flip. Its second attack
(Scavenge) requires [PP] and then has you discard a [P]
Energy from itself; if you do you may add an Item card
from your discard pile to your hand. This card is
not a reprint of Fossil 55/62 and
Legendary Collection 93/110, however they did
alter Scavenge from adding a Trainer to your hand to
just an Item card. This is unfortunate; the cards
use the same art and so especially for someone not
paying attention they could easily be mistaken for one
another. Unless it would really help to have a
Psychic-Type version, go with one of the two Water-Type
options instead; BW: Dark Explorers 23/108 can
try to stall by putting both Actives to Sleep while
XY: BREAKpoint 19/122 can fish something important
from your deck.
There
is one other Slowbro, BW: Dark Explorers
24/108. Other than Lightning Weakness and a
Retreat Cost of [CCC] (one higher) its attributes are
the same as today’s version, but it has the Ability
“Airhead” that prevents it from attacking if you have
two, four or six Prizes left. The attack you get
in exchange for a detrimental Ability is “Lazy Headbutt”
for [WC], which does 80 and leaves Slowbro (“this
Pokémon”) Asleep. This wasn’t good enough when
we reviewed it
before
- well not really “we” as I didn’t get a review in for
it and aroramage wasn’t around back then - and it
remains a fun joke but not something to seriously use.
Yes, even when you’ve got Mew-EX to copy and use
Lazy Headbutt for just [W] thanks to Dimension Valley;
80 for 1 is nice but unless you’ve got an entire
Slowbro/Slowking/Mew-EX deck, you’ve
got better things to copy. Speaking of Slowking
there are two options there to consider, as they can
also Evolve from Slowpoke: BW: Dark Explorers
49/108 which is only legal for Expanded play and XY:
BREAKpoint 21/122, with which we will wrap up our
week tomorrow (surprise?). BW: Dark Explorers
49/10 shakes things up a bit by being a Stage 1
Psychic-Type with 90 HP, Psychic Weakness, no Resistance
and a Retreat Cost of [CC], but it lacks an Ability or
Ancient Trait, again having just two attacks. Not
very promising, eh?
At
least it doesn’t have a self-limiting Ability. So
for [P] it can use “Psy Bolt” to do 20 damage and flip a
coin; “heads” means the opponent’s Active is Paralyzed,
“tails” means you still just do 20 damage. For
[PCC] it can do “Hand Press” for 50 damage plus 30 for
each card you have in hand more than your
opponent. This card was also reviewed
when it was recent
and once again I missed it. Still not good as even
if you can make your hand big, Slowking goes down
in one hit… and if your opponent has N or just a
large hand, the damage is likely quite bad for the
Energy. For the effort involved, you really need
to manage a OHKO of typical Basic Pokémon-EX (170 to 180
damage), if not Mega Evolutions (typically 210 to 240).
As for XY: BREAKpoint 21/122, other than its name
its attributes are identical to Slowbro (XY:
BREAKpoint 20/122). It has an Ability though,
named “Royal Flash” in addition to a single attack named
“Psych Up”. Royal Flash requires a coin flip to
work, and it is a once-per-turn effect (though multiple
copies can be used in a single turn). If you get
“tails” it simply does nothing. “Heads” allows you to
select and move an Energy from your opponent’s Active to
something on his or her Bench. “Psych Up” has been seen
before; this version costs [WC] and does 40 damage
initially, but if you use it again the next turn (and
the effect isn’t somehow reset) it will do 80 damage
instead. The damage does not keep
increasing, but if you use it over and over you’ll go
40, 80, 80, 80, etc. We’ll discuss this in detail
tomorrow, but it seems to be at least a decent card.
So,
what all helps Slowbro? Mostly I would say
the new Slowking if you feel like
including a single copy of Slowbro just in case
you get into that weird situation where you have one
Prize left and can attack but could not otherwise attack
for the win. Thanks to Archie’s Ace in the Hole
and the Energy cost for Walk-Off Homer, just about any
deck with some Energy acceleration and the combos
necessary to pull off an Archie’s Ace in the Hole
could include this Slowbro. If you are very
paranoid about a last minute stall, I suppose it could
be useful, but the unsportsmanlike use of finishing
someone off with Slowbro as a kind of taunt is
its true calling. Well, that and intimidation if
your opponent can be intimidated (instead of encouraged)
by such plays. I don’t recommend this for Standard
or Expanded, and the reason it is good for Limited is
because a split Evolution line gives you the slight
potential of pulling like a 2-1/1 line but mostly
because Careless Head is decent here and it's Limited;
you are probably kind of desperate.
Ratings
Standard:
1.75/5
Expanded:
1.75/5
Limited:
3.15/5
Summary:
As is often the case, we get another gimmicky card for
Slowbro. While I kind of enjoy such things,
I always worry because sometimes “fun” stuff ends up
being more useful than intended, which by its nature
means more powerful than intended. There is also
the amount of filler already in packs; making a card you
know isn’t going to be worth it works better when
it’s one of the few, not when it is the norm.
The
Pojo Top 20 for XY: BREAKpoint list had this just
making it as the 20th place pick with 4 points, typing
with the 19th place pick. We actually had 22 cards
nominated, with two being part of a “twofer”, so
Slowbro did beat one card by two points. Slowbro
did not make my personal list.
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